I would like to have this now, please.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Why, yes I DID just send this to all my eighth grade son's teachers. This is what happens when you trap me in a house with three sick kids:
He fought the good fight, but unfortunately James just went down with the fever his little brother and sister have been trading back and forth all week. I threatened him with grounding if the fever didn't break, but it didn't work. In fact, it went up. Which is a darn shame because this is a kid that misses very little school primarily because it's so hard for him to dig out on missing assignments when he does.
James probably really wishes he'd gotten a fever last night BEFORE he did all his homework, but it waited until this morning to pounce. Therefore, his homework is done. This leads me to a few questions:
1. Could I stop by the office today and turn his homework in for them to sort into your teacher boxes? Or do you prefer that he waits to turn it in when he gets back to school?
2. Please read this as me speaking with a totally non-critical tone: only one of you has current classwork/homework assignments posted on his/her website (you go, Mrs. Mathews!) (the rest of you: seriously, no judgment, I swear!), so is there any way to get today's classwork/homework assignments back as a quick email? I'll have him work on it today on the theory that some people say starve a fever, feed a cold and some people say feed a fever, starve a cold and I say just drown it with homework so it will decide to abandon its host on account of who wants to do homework?
I taught 8th grade language arts for five years, and I realize I'm being THAT parent right now, but here's the thing: if his grade drops, I have to ground him from media. And he's already grounded from media because he has C's in PE and Consumer Science (yeah, he's that kid. If there's not a space for him to write it in his planner, it doesn't exist. Also, the mile=not his favorite). And grounding a kid from media is hard. Their entire conversation becomes negotiations about how to get the media back. "I'll plant a garden! I'll clean the baseboards with a toothbrush! I'll give you the key to unchain small brother from the backyard sapling if I can have twenty minutes with Minecraft!"
So really, helping James stay caught up is kind of a mental health thing for me, see?
Happy teaching today, guys.
Mother Under Siege
Posted by Melanie Jacobson at 9:21 AM
Friday, January 4, 2013
I got a belated Christmas gift in the form of my new cover for my upcoming March book release, Second Chances. And guys: I LOVE IT. I especially love the writing at the very top. (Click to embiggen.) Coolest thing I've ever seen. (Except for a bunch of other cool stuff I've actually seen like a giant redwood, the Hope diamond, etc. but still: PRETTY COOL.)
The story follows Louisa Gibson, a Huntington Beach girl with grand plans to launch her own new media marketing agency. Lou comes up with a brilliant idea to do a web version of The Bachelor, only it's for Mormons. Introducing The Mormon Bachelor. It's on the verge of launching when her bachelor drops out at the last minute. In desperation, she taps her old boyfriend, a Hollywood actor, to fill in, but she is totally unprepared for her feelings when he develops real relationships with his dates. She's determined to protect her heart, but at what price?
Annnnnnnnd here's what my publisher sent me:
Posted by Melanie Jacobson at 10:04 AM
Friday, December 21, 2012
Uh, so you can win my new book SMART MOVE maybe if you go here:
Page of Awesomeness.
Posted by Melanie Jacobson at 8:34 AM
Sunday, December 16, 2012
I'm bringing pants to church. I have no idea if I'm putting them on or not, but I'm bringing them.
Posted by Melanie Jacobson at 7:17 AM
Monday, November 19, 2012
Can I drop in here sometimes with no explanation of where I've been? Here's the short answer: busy.
And I'm dropping in today because I want to share this beauty tip with you: baby wipes.
See, I kind of gave up manis and pedis because there's just no time any more. But I like sparkly colorful nails so every now and then I muster the energy to paint them myself. I used to be opposed to this because it was such a pain to take off the old polish. Cotton balls = boo. Toilet paper = boo. Paper towels = boo.
And then I randomly used a baby wipe (specifically the Kirkland/Costco brand) that Eden had pulled out with a handful of other wipes and just left on the floor. It had dried out. I decided to give it a shot. Verdict=WIN! They don't tear or leave little fuzz on your nails.
Now let's talk about how I tried painting my own nails with a light blue matte polish and that takes a lot of coats and I wasn't very good at it and I went to my biannual (you read that right--I told you, I don't have TIME) hair appointment, and this Chinese lady nail tech got one look at my attempt and tsk-ed me right into a chair and cleaned them up for free because it offended her professional sensibilities that a grown woman should walk around with nails looking like that.
Really, it should have offended her sensibilities that a grown woman was running around in light blue nail polish, but I make no apologies. Then after cleaning up my nails, she sent me off with a glare and a refusal to accept a tip.
But that's not really the point here. The point is, dried out Costco baby wipes are seriously excellent for removing nail polish.
That was kind of fun. Blogging, I mean. Maybe later this week I will tell you a really good recipe to make for Christmas.
Posted by Melanie Jacobson at 3:18 PM
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
I got a review that made me laugh today and also sigh in relief because Susan at Bloggin' Bout Books is known to be brutally honest, so I was glad Smart Move passed muster with her. Whew. I'd been sweating this review a little, to tell you the truth. She was still honest enough to make me uncomfortable, but overall I was happy with it. Anyway, she's hosting a giveaway of the book, but since there are a few giveaways of Smart Move going on, I thought I'd make it easy on everyone and put them all in one place. I know, I know: stick your thank you card in the mail.
Here we go with the list of giveaways for Smart Move:
Susan at Bloggin' Bout Books
Rachael Renee Anderson
I Am a Reader, Not a Writer
Why Not? Because I Said So
You can drop in on any of them and enter. Hooray! Also, for those writerly-minded types among you, I concluded my "how-I-wrote-my-book-so-fast" post here where I blog under my semi-secret identity.
Posted by Melanie Jacobson at 12:59 PM