Grab bag

So every single day that I've been in the car since pitching a fit about Grease, a song from the Grease soundtrack has come on the radio. And here's what I think about that: Olivia Newton John could sang. Moving on...

I don't know why I continue to be horrified weekly by The Bachelorette. It's like I forget from week to week what the show is even about. And still last night as I watched the playback, I heard myself saying things like, "What is wrong with you people?" and then, like, pleading for at least one, yea verily, even ONE to find some dignity. But no one did. And yet, I leave it on my DVR.

It's gray outside today. I don't know know why I love it, but I do. So much.

I ate bacon last night. It's a rare treat and it made me so happy.

I had pumpkin ravioli with shaved Lorna Doone cookies on top the night before htat. I couldn't get enough of the crunch. Who'd a thunk?

One time, I was like, I'll never put my girl in frou-frou ballerina skirts and giant bows. And I am SO that mom now. I love it. I call her princess. It is terrible. I will not be stopping.

I am already counting down to the delicious dinner I will make for Saturday night. I love food. Also, I am gaining weight again. But at least it comes from honest-to-goodness delight in food and not emotional eating. Unless you count the thing where I get a piece of chocolate as a reward for even the most minimal exertion. Which I don't.

I have made a goal that at the very least I will sweep my kitchen floor every night. It just seems like something normal people do.

Did I mention that today's post is  random?

And do I even need to mention that random is my blog's default setting?

I'm going to have an omelet now because my husband makes me one every morning because I was very, very smart about who I married. In case you're not my Facebook friend, you should know that he was so moved by the bizarre disconnect in the SYTYCD Lost Children of Uganda dance last night, he performed a totally unprompted interpretative dance of his feelings about the lack of consensus over the debt ceiling. A few weeks ago, he treated me to some spontaneous krumping and then promptly twisted his ankle.

I know, I  know. You all want to come over on Wednesday nights now. Too bad, so sad. I would have to clean before you come by and apparently beyond the sweeping-due-to-meet-social-norms, I just don't do that anymore.

Beyond the Tide pen

UPDATE: The sofa is cured and everyone is still speaking. My crazy brother is still even going to babysit again next week. Thanks for all the tips!

You guys should be really sad that you don't get the amazing post I was going to do today. Seriously, it was fantastic. Hilarious and profound at the same time. There was a lot of wisdom in it. Oh, and recipes. Yeah, really good ones.

But instead of doing that post, I need to ask a question instead.

Anyone know how to get black ball point ink out of the arm of a twill sofa?

Because Grant was really busy at his uncle's house this morning.

Seriously, does anyone know?

Who needs Heloise?

I'm not saying my house is immaculate or anything (because I would get struck down by lightning for publishing such a big fat lie), but I am saying that I can totally fake it. Just because I love you, I'm throwing these helpful tips out for you today:


1. If you have a toddler, don't worry about food on the floor. They'll eventually eat it.

2. Get a counter top that doesn't show dirt, like one with a crazy speckle granite pattern. Then you only have to sweep light color crumbs off for it to look clean.

3. If you leave the dishes in the sink long enough, like maybe going on a week, your husband will at some point break down and clean them for you.

4. I've heard people joke about attaching a Swiffer to a crawling baby to get the floor clean, but um. . . it actually works.

5. If you lose the drain cover for your kids' bathtub, the hair clog from your shower will provide a free and easy solution.

You're welcome.

Be my TV Guide

I have to turn on the TV to get anything done around here. Yesterday? Did two loads of laundry, one load of dishes, cleaned the microwave, cabinets, counters, and stove, organized the bookshelf and the rolling cart, dusted and polished the living room furniture, and cleaned the entire downstairs wooden floor on my hands and knees.

Why? Because I watched TV.

See, here's the thing. My housework has fallen by the wayside lately, and I thought it was because my blogging habit had marginalized my cleaning "habits". Not so. Blogging marginalized my daytime TV watching and that's why I quit cleaning.

Confused?

Check it: I clean during commercials. And I used to watch Gilmore Girls everyday and then jump up and clean during the ads. But when the series started over again on season 1 for my SIXTH time, I decided maybe I would sit this time out. And since that's the only TV I watch during the day (except for a couple of shows I like that my husband doesn't and so hello, DVR), I blogged instead. And I don't take breaks from blogging like I do with TV watching. So I didn't get as much cleaning done.

It's a pathetic revelation, but whatever. If the cleaning happens, that's what matters. But now I have a dilemma. I need to introduce an hour of TV back into my daytime schedule and I have no ideas, so I come to the blogosphere with a request.

What can you suggest that I put on my DVR to watch each day that is interesting enough to make we want to turn it on and ergo, clean my house? I'm sure my husband will thank you for your answer.

I'm not picky. I don't like soaps or "yell" shows or snarky judges. Other than that, I'm good. I tried a Cold Case Files show on A&E and liked that but I don't know about for every day. Are there classics being aired on TV Land or Nick at Nite I'm missing out on? A history show I might find fascinating? Something utterly hilarious and bizarre that hasn't made it on my radar? Something that will enrich me? And to be totally honest, I'm not so much for "inspirational" kind of stuff. Because...um, usually it's sucky TV. And I hate to cry. Which is why I quit watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

Anyway, hit me with any suggestion you can think of. I'm not above anything. I may not like soaps, but you should see my reality tv viewing list. Ridiculous. Come on...I, my husband, my DVR, and my sink full of dishes are all begging you.

Clarification: Thanks for the suggestions so far. Just to be clear, it doesn't have to be on during the day. I can stick anything on the DVR and watch it back later. I'm just trying to find something that will keep me interested. Keep the ideas coming!