Thursday, July 17, 2008

So who's the writer around here, anyway?

I am married to a man who can do anything I can do, except better.

I can pretty make much any recipe come out right. Kenny eats something at the Cheesecake Factory and says, "That was good. I think I'll learn to make that." Then he wanders into the kitchen and does, just rifling through fridge doors and spice cabinets and whipping up something amazing.

He can beat me in Scrabble. Me. In Scrabble. Only one of three people on the planet who ever has.

I got a bachelors in English and taught it. He got a masters in Latin American literature and taught it.

I blog about stuff I think about. He blogs about highly technical software design.

When I'm not writing, I follow simple patterns to crochet baby blankets for friends as a creative outlet. Kenny writes music. And plays it. And he does both really well.

I try to write thoughtful, well-considered book reviews, like for Fool Me Twice. Kenny writes this in a review for a book he read as an afterthought:

The first couple pages gave me the hope that this would be one of those quirky, fast-paced, inventive novels in the Chuck Palahniuk vein (only, hopefully, not so repulsive). But instead of "Fight Club", I got "Dine-And-Dash Club". If I was hoping for Henry Weinhard's Premium Root Beer from a cold glass bottle, I got Shasta Diet Cream Soda mixed with half a cup of melted ice...

I'd probably mind except he's the least competitive person on the planet. He's just naturally good at things and completely humble about it.

So I thought, who better for a guest blogger than my husband Kenny? Nobody, that's who. Keep an eye out for Kenny's blog on Monday on what it's like to be married to an aspiring writer.


Kenny J said...

Oh dear, I'm blushing. But let me set the record straight...

(Oh yeah, this is Melanie's husband, BTW)

1. OK, maybe I'm a good cook, but I'm Picasso's "Blue Period". I have five colors in my palette: BBQ, eggs, sushi*, fish*, and kick-butt lemonade.

Melanie, on the other hand, paints with a whole spectrum of culinary color. She's that Monet painting that was hanging in every girl's BYU dorm know the one... with the bridge and flowers (or were they lilies?)...except her food looks good close up too, not just from a distance...and her food doesn't all blend together either...well, I guess it does in my stomach...but...oh, geez, this extended metaphor sucks!

Bottom line: in a year and a half of marriage, I think she's introduced at least one brand new meal every week. I'm constantly amazed! And to think, "good cook" wasn't even on my list. And I got an amazing one. Yay, for me!

2. Scrabble...I beat her once... Once! And it was all luck..."Wheatgrass" on triple word score.

3. I taught college students who wanted to learn, she taught middle school ruffians who wanted to burn things.

4. She gets published authors reading and commenting on her blog posts. I'm happy when Google Analytics tells me people came to my site last month because they (oh, who am kidding, "he") searched on the keywords "modify lightwindow opacity".

5. Crochet vs. Music - But can a song keep you warm at night? Well, ok, we'll call that one a draw...

6. I remember the day I wrote that...I think I really just wanted a root beer.

7. That's right, baby! I'm the King of Humble, I'll take anyone on in a Humble Cage-Match, Choke-out, Smackdown! I'm so humble, I probably don't think that song is about me **

8. "Guest Blogging on Monday"...I wonder if I can talk my wife into ghost writing for me... ;)


Melanie's Husband, Kenny


* Unfortunately, Melanie hates fish...yikes!

** Did anyone get the Carly Simon reference? Yes? And it still doesn't work, huh? bummer...

Melanie J said...

See what I mean? I totally scored.

Candace E. Salima said...

Very funny, Melanie. And by your husband's comment, he's funny too. Sound like the two of your are a fantastic couple. I'm so glad I found your blog.

Josi Kilpack gave us a heads up on the LDS Storymakers email list. Good luck with your writing.

Kimberly said...

I'm feeling the weest bit jealous suddenly. I can't even get my husband tell me I look nice on a given day, never mind extravagant compliments like that. You scored alright!

No worries, I won't let envy overwhelm the fact I think you're fabulous. =P

Annette Lyon said...

I also married a culinary artist. Too bad he almost never cooks.

Looking forward to the guest post.

I totally got the Carly Simon reference. :)

charrette said...

I think every marriage should be filled with this kind of witty banter...and jovial, revering support for one another's talents.

I outdid myself on the marriage scoreboard too. Hopefully he feels as lucky. Sometimes it's easy to get down about being outdone. But truthfully, what's the alternative? Settle for someone less?

I don't think so.