Wednesday, September 3, 2008

How to defend yourself from a burglar

*I have a new rule. As of today, I'm not putting up a new post until I have at least seven comments. It might take weeks, but I'm drawing my line in the sand!*


At around five this morning when I woke up unaccountably in the pitch black dark, I had a stroke of genius. As I lay there trying to go to sleep, I began to hear sounds that clearly indicated a robber was in my house. I have cat-like hearing. Or the hearing of something that hears really well. Ahem. So that popping sound? The burglar's knee-joint clicking as he cased out the downstairs. That strange thumping noise? His burglar gunny sack dropping to the floor.

I lay there, thinking about what I could do, wishing I'd hid a butcher knife under my pillow the night before. And then it occurred to me: the perfect solution. I just pulled my blanket around me really tight and huddled beside my husband. Ha, ha robber! I have foiled you! No way can you get through my incredible fortress of cotton sheets with your club or your gun or your knife or your...



Wait. Maybe it wasn't a stroke of genius. Maybe it was just a stroke.

Well.


In other super exciting news, I got one of those blog award thingies from Alison Wonderland whose blog I love. It made me so happy! It looks like this:







Cute, right? So the deal is now I'm supposed to pass it on. So here's a list of the blogs that I stalk every single day because I'm too lazy to figure out how to set up a feed that will tell me when they've been updated. I just click periodically and hope for the best. The lazy woman works twice as hard. Some of these are in my blog roll and some aren't but they're all cool:

http://www.twas-brillig.com/index.php
http://divergentpathways.blogspot.com/
http://borrowedlight.blogspot.com/
http://blog.annettelyon.com/
http://mormonmommyblogs.blogspot.com/
http://juliewright.com/blog4/
http://www.twas-brillig.com/index.php
http://janette-rallison.blogspot.com/
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
http://theextraordinaryordinary.blogspot.com/
http://www.walkingkateastrophe.com/

Yeah, so it's a huge list. Most of these people have no idea who I am or that I come to their blogs and would probably find it creepy that I'm giving them an award. Who are you? they are whispering fearfully to themselves. Some blogs I go to I didn't list because they are of the professional variety and would think I'm dumb. And I've found a couple of new ones that I really like but haven't visited enough yet to say I love. And yet still my list is huge. Can you guess how I spend a large chunk of my day?

But I love my award nonetheless. Thanks, Alison Wonderland!

13 comments:

Heather of the EO said...

You're a crack up. Thank you for the kudos lady!

Heather of the EO said...

Now this is my second comment becaues I'm trying to make sure you post again soon. So now we're one closer to SEVEN! HA

Kimberly said...

Hee hee...most of those are on my blog roll, and the others I've visited. Man, I have been doing this way too long.

Kimberly said...

And I will so post multiple comments to get your next fabulous post up here. I'm an addict. What can I say?

Kimberly said...

www.bloglines.com

Best feedreader I've found yet.

Lisa said...

Hey! That's cheating! I came on here to help you out comment-wise, only to find that two bloggers who I love have tried to do a good deed through dishonesty. Come ON! :)

I gave the award to Alison Wonderland, and I'm glad she's given it to you because I like you too!! And I don't think there are very many bloggers that will think you're creepy if you give them an award and they don't know you, silly goose!

Marcia Mickelson said...

7th comment- okay you can post now. I love some of those blogs you awarded too. I don't think they'll think you're a stalker.

Alison Wonderland said...

I was going to be so excited to be your seventh comment but then you already had seven so I was going to just skip it but that's rude esp because you said such nice things about me. So here I am. And sweetie you really need to get a google reader or a bloglines or a something. Then you can stalk all the blogs you want. I have 45!

Jami said...

Congrats! (She says in an effort to help out, just in case only the number of commenters are being counted.)

Janette Rallison said...

I was just planning on leaving seven comments but I didn't have to. And thanks for giving me an award. Now I wish I knew how to put those things up . . .

Annette Lyon said...

Yippee!!! And award! Thanks!

(Help! I can't stop using exclamation points!!!)

:D

(Blogging is all about stalking, right?)

charrette said...

So here I am DELIGHTING in your burglar story because I do that very thing in the middle of the night! And at the same time I'm cracking up over your seven comments rule! (Pretty soon you're going to have to up the ante to ten!)

And then, lo and behold, an award appears in my name. Thank you!
I have fun stalking you, too.

Julie Wright said...

Oh now that post is just funny. I have those same impervious sheets! They've saved me from all sorts of wretched things.