Thursday, January 15, 2009

If I have two apples and take one away, will anyone care?

I'm going to defy common sense and blog etiquette and put my dirty laundry out there for all of you to see. My husband and I had a fight last night and now I'm going to let it ALL hang out. Because I have a blog and I can.

It started innocently enough. We were watching American Idol and a contestant said they were going to give 110%. This really bothered Kenny. It did not bother me. This began the fight.

Kenny has a problem with 110% only when it comes to people, not pie. I know, because he explained it to me in a very detailed analogy. Apparently, you can give someone 110% of a pie if it's just a regular old pie. You know....apple or key lime or something, and you have more of them laying around.

Mmmmm.....key lime....

Oh, okay. I'm back.

Anyway, giving someone 110% of a pie is just giving them a whole pie plus a tenth of another pie that's the same kind. BUT, if it was a really unique pie, the only one of it's kind in the pantry (or display case if you do pies the way I do), then you can't give 110% of that pie. You can only give 100% of that particular pie. There's no more to give.

Are you following this so far?

Do you like that I'm asking you that as if I'm even going to stop and wait for the answer while I'm typing this? Because I'm not. Just in case you thought I was. Not because I don't care, though. Just because...um, well, that wouldn't make sense.

Anyway, according to Kenny, people are like pies in that we are completely unique and so we can only give 100% of ourselves and nothing more. You can't take 10% of someone else and give that too to make it 110%. This bothers him.

I think his logic is fine. But I think he is wrong to be bothered by this because I think 110% is an excellent metaphor. I don't take it literally (Annette) and I don't think most other people do, either. What the metaphor says to me is that you wring out every last drop of your effort and after you've given it everything you've got, then you dig a little bit deeper and find just a little something more than what you thought you had. I think it's a very nice metaphor, actually.

Hmmmm....I guess it's more of a cliche. But whatever. I don't mind when people say they gave 110% because I understand the level of effort they're indicating. I hate 150% though, because it ruins the metaphor. And I'm not going to even explain why because this is a stupid post.

Please don't worry, though. We've decided to stay together for the sake of the children. After all, I said going into this marriage that I would always give 110%.

33 comments:

LisAway said...

Sheesh! Your poor husband doesn't even realize that it is BECAUSE SOMEONE (you) IS GIVING 110%, HE IS HAPPILY (usually) MARRIED! How ungrateful.

I agree with him, though. You can't give 110%. It's not physically possible.

KIDDING!

Alison Wonderland said...

Although 110% doesn't bother me personally, I kind of like that it bothers him because, well, it is a stupid phase and someone should be bothered by it.

Stephen said...

I have to agree with your husband on this one. Although I usually eat 10% more than the daily recommend amount of calories for a man my size. Just food for thought.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Ha ha, this sounds like the same devastating kind of arguments we have at our house. I can understand both sides... however I am totally annoyed when Randy says on the show, "a hundred million percent YES!" Um, nope, that's not even CLOSE to possible.

Kristina P. said...

This is too funny! It's like my husband who insists that when I use military time, like 0900, and pronounce the first zero like "oh", that it's actually zero900. I said it Oh900 all the time just to piss him off. I'm fun like that.

Stephanie Humphreys said...

This drives my husband crazy too. I always argue back, that since we only utilize a small portion of our brains and our potential, maybe we should only say, "I gave it 30%." Then on the days we really put the effort out there, we can say, "Wow, I gave it 47% today," and everyone can be suitable impressed.

Annette Lyon said...

I'm with you on this one. (I think I say this a lot in my comments to you.) It's a figurative 110%. It's a good metaphor.

CaJoh said...

It's all apples and oranges anyway right…

Sometimes it is helpful to "clear the air" when you argue about things that when you really look at it can be pretty insignificant.

Loving your posts 110% of the time!

Chris said...

I'm so glad you gave 110% on this post. :)

Don said...

Your husband is right - you can't give 110% of your full effort, because 100% is all there is.

But saying you'll give 110% works because of what's implied but not said.

"I'm going to give 110% (of the lame, pathetic effort I normally give, which is only about 75% of what I really could give if properly motivated.)"

Debbie said...

I am more than a little afraid to admit this, but I am like your husband on this one. Saying someone gave more than 100% effort bugs me. Not like a bizarre body rash or having to go to the department of motor vehicles, but it does irritate me.

Nancy said...

puh-leeze - but we have had "fights" over just as inocuous things...usually when I am too tired and nothing makes sense. We get nit picky with each other. sigh...

Kenny, the husband (who would give 110% to his wife if it were mathematically possible) said...

First of all, lest anyone image us *really* fighting, our "fights" go something like this:

"Hmm...well, I see your point, but I'll still have to disagree..."

"Well, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree then."

"Love you."

"Love you, too."

(I don't know why it would bother me to have people imaging us really fighting...but it does)

Anyway....

I never had a problem with 110% as a metaphor until people started saying 120%, 130%, 200%, 1,000,000%. That's when I had to say "enough already". Since it's hard to argue "you can't say 120%, dangit, you can only say 110%!" when there is no logical or mathematical basis for "110%" ( it's a completely arbitrary metaphor), well, then, I had to ban "110%" as illogical too.

Now that I understand that my wife also hates "120%", "140%", "150%", etc., I see that, in reality, we only disagree over a measely 10%. And I can live with that.

Andrew & Sarah Clawson said...

I'm sorry for your sake that you had a "fight" over 110%, but I could not help but laugh! Andrew is has a physics degree- and I can just picture him saying the same thing that Kenny did..

Melanie J said...

Yeah, to second Kenny and make sure everyone understands, we don't actually fight. As in, neither of us has ever yelled and once in three years has someone gotten their feelings hurt. So when I say "fight", I mean have a silly difference of opinion over semantics.

Herb of Grace said...

That's the way we fight, too, and since my dh is a logic teacher, I ALWAYS lose. You just can't argue with a logic teacher. It ain't worth the trouble.

Eowyn said...

I'll just sit here and laugh because this is the type of fight that would occur at my house. My husband is the type that likes to have everyone say exactly what they mean. No exaggeration, no sarcasm.

But metaphor is so dang cool!

charrette said...

I see it just the way you do. (Sorry, Kenny!)

And if that's as dirty as your laundry gets, then it's wonderful your clothesline is so very public! Funny fight.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha haha ha ha ha ah

This was a particularly good post. hee he he heehehehe

I'm so glad you're going to stay together for the sake of the kids. And I hope Kenny doesn't mind that you're giving 110% to the marriage. hee hee

Soooo cute you are.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha ha haha ha ha ha ah

This was a particularly good post. hee he he heehehehe

I'm so glad you're going to stay together for the sake of the kids. And I hope Kenny doesn't mind that you're giving 110% to the marriage. hee hee

Soooo cute you are.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I'm so nice I had to say it twice. I almost said it thrice.

myimaginaryblog said...

I might cry. I just spent 20 minutes writing a long comment and then Blogger ate it. I might try again later, but I might be too demoralized. (Maybe that is the universe telling me not to air *my* dirty laundry in the form of describing an even more annoying argument I've had with my husband.)

Heather of the EO said...

I'm just sitting here smiling because I love reading your blog so much.

Kimberly said...

I'm giggling that mad here, because the 110% drives me mental.

Mina said...

wow. I alike you husband already. I don't mind the 110% thing myself but this is just the sort of ridiculous thing that makes me crazy, too. And crazy loves company.

Mina said...

"I alike you husband"? Who wrote THAT?

I really need to proofread my comments before i publish them, and not after.

Emily said...

He sounds as literal as my husband!

I totally get the 110% thing. Like take me for example, I am giving your blog 110% because not only did I read your post, but now I am making a comment. That requires my brain, so in essence, as a follower, I just gave you 110%.

Tell Kenny not to allow such silly things to worry him and to get back to taking pictures! He took some great pics of you and your little one down by the beach. (you were tagged in an album on Facebook)

I'm sure he's enjoying his new camera. :)

Stephanie and Co. said...

Literally speaking, no one speaks literally all the time. So it's a fine cliche.
The last sentence of your blog was so funny. I was smiling throughout, but that made me laugh out loud.

April said...

I believe the extra 10 percent is for tithing! DUH!!! hehehehe!!!

Heather B. Moore said...

Funny.

Maybe your husband should go into retail, where the prices are marked up 150%, then marked down little by little.

Kazzy said...

Funny, because in our marriage I am the more mathematically inclined one and the one who thinks in more logical ways. My hub is an English Lit professor, so he loves a good turn of phrase, etc. But I have to tell you, one of the most annoying verbal faux pas is when people ask themselves rhetorical questions. "Do I like the fact that January is gunky and depressing?" "No, I don't."

Alyssa Goodnight said...

I LOVE the last line! :)
Perfectly summed up.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Great post! No witty comment from me though. It's late, I have a cold, and hubby is out of town. I'm pretty much a zombie at this point.