Monday, January 19, 2009

You don't belong here!

You people need to learn your place, you dig? I get confused when you're out of context.

No being out of context, you guys!

Do you know who just spent three days at my house? Do you?

Because if you do, that's kind of creepy because...why would you know that?

Anyway, Alison Wonderland's brother-in-law was here. I think he actually carved that into the bottom of the bunk above him.

So, he stayed here because he and my husband had a college band together and so they decided to play catch-up and they went to some big music trade show down here. Which is so not the point. The point is, how weird is that I just randomly stumbled across Alison Wonderland's blog and months after I started reading it, her sister made the connection that I was the Melanie J married to former frontman Kenny of BYU-famous band Picture This, and that we knew each other and that Alison Wonderland and I had this weird meta-blog connection? And I just totally misused the "meta" prefix which is bad because metafiction is my husband's expertise. But whatever.

The point is that it was strange to have my blog friend's BIL, a blog friend I haven't met in real life, sleeping in the extra bunk and carving, "Brent wuz here" with a super modified guitar pick he got from some hussy trying to promote them at the trade show.

That's super weird, right? I mean, that I made that up? He didn't carve anything. But he did get the bottom bunk.

Anyway, it's not like this is the first time this has happened. The out of context thing. I did two years of high school in Louisiana and then two in California and when I would bump into CA friends while hanging out with Louisiana folk at BYU, it was confusing and unnerving. I wouldn't let them be friends with each other so that my brain wouldn't implode.

That's why I could never go to one of those famous blogger meet-and-greets you Utah people do. You know, because 1) I'm not blog famous and 2) I don't live in Utah and 3) the top of my head would blow off if I saw these folks in person.

And when I go to the LDS Storymakers conference, I'm going to sit by myself and not talk to Annette, or Sue, or Kimberly or Josi because I don't want to lose my mind.

Which brings me back to my original point. Know your place, people. Know your place!


Shellie said...

what and where is this LDS storymakers conference? If I host some sort of similar event in Georgia would you guys come out?

LisAway said...

FUNKY! Wow, I would be a bit freaked out, too.

I hope I don't accidentally bump into you when (if) I'm in So. Cal. in June for my brother's wedding. I hate seeing people's heads explode. (But maybe we can meet on purpose, and I'll promise not to be out of context.)

Eowyn said...

Um, you may have missed another one of those people that you will see at the storymakers conference.

Or at least that girl in the corner who never goes to any classes but can't let the cool people out of her sight because then she wouldn't feel cool any more.

Oh yeah, you'll be seeing me across the room too. :)

Poor girl. I'm just arrogant enough to not care to stay in my place. :)

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I remember feeling quite awkward in my single days when various individuals from my past would somehow congregate or cross paths in twilight zone ways. Like when one of my MTC teacher had been my first kiss just a few years before, and another was a guy who I dated and liked me, but I didn't like him. Yep, awkward, mind-exploding stuff.

I still have fears that certain people who only belong in my memories will someday move into my ward or something.

Debbie said...

I know exactly what you mean. It's like my world has little compartments and everyone is assigned to one. Then, lo and behold, I'll find someone in a different place. Weirds me out.

Luisa Perkins said...

As George once said on Seinfeld, "Worlds are colliding!"

Really? You won't talk to me at Storymakers, either? Because I was looking forward to meeting you.

Chris said...

I live in WV, which aside from me, seems to be a blog-free state. :)

I'm quite jealous of all the contacts you all seem to have! How completely FUN!!!

Don said...

I promise to ignore you at Storymakers - at least before lunch. Because exploded brains tend to ruin my appetite.

Personally, I kind of enjoy the trippy mixed world feeling. It's like being on nitrous at the dentist, but without all the drilling and stuff.

Sue said...

And what about the whole thing where your childhood friend/college roommate turned out to be a gal that's in my ward and a very good friend? I still think that's just so random.

I'm still on the fence about Storymakers. I want to go, but I don't know if we can justify the moolah right now.

dianne - bunny trails said...

I just found your blog - not sure how, but you are HYSTERICAL! I read the entire front page. Oh my gosh, you had me rolling. Love your writing. And you spell properly. Bonus.

In the words of Arnold, "I'll be back."

CaJoh said...

That is one of the symptoms of what I call the Familiarity Factor— in that you know someone from one place, then encounter them in another. I hate it when you then don't remember where you know that person from and "introductions" are in order.

Kristina P. said...

I totally know what you mean. It was weird when two groups of friends met each other.

I had a friend who would keep her friends apart, and go to extreme measures to do so. I always wondered if she had like this other secret life that she didn't want us to know about.

earlfam said...

Thanks for taking good care of my husband. He had a great time.


I called him while he was there and he told me that he and Kenny were on their way into the bank. Awesome!

Of course, I said "so, Kenny's trying to figure out how to rob it?"

"What?" (Brent didn't get it 'cause he doesn't read your bog.)

So I told him to ask, "really ask him, he'll tell you, he's trying to figure out how to rob the bank."

"OK, I will but not until we're out of range of the bank microphones."

But I never got a report on whether he actually asked.

Annette Lyon said...

Dude, I'll have to stalk you at the conference then. You can't NOT talk to us. Sheesh. :)

The last conference was a bit wiggy for me, actually--a friend who I've known since 8th grade came, and at one point I came across her talking with my editor and a member of my critique group. Talk about world colliding. As you would say, my head about exploded.

Kimberly said...

My head's gone critical just thinking about the conference.

Luckily I knew Eowyn in real life before blogging so I'm hoping that'll stablize me or some such.

Go ahead and not sit with me. It's not like I'm suffering paranoid delusions that NOBODY will, or anything. Oh no. I'm not experiencing post traumatic stress flash backs to high school at ALL.

Jami said...

I promise to stay in my box. I've never met you or anyone you've ever known. And really we all know S.CA and N.CA are different states, so we're not even in the same state.

It makes me incredibly nervous meeting people from the blog world. And I'm such a flippin' babbler when I'm nervous. It makes for good first impressions. Makes it easy to stay in my little box.

Mina said...

"Worlds are colliding, Jerry!"

I hereby promise to never send my brother-in-law to spend the night on your bottom bunk. And I'll try really hard to avoid you in the OC this summer when I'm having surgery at UCI. Maybe you could plan your out of town vacation to correlate.

April said...

Que..."It's A Small World".

Now you can have that swimming around in your brain all day long. You are welcome! :D

Alison Wonderland said...

How about I come to the conference too but we both bring our laptops and we can sit at a table facing each other but only communicate through IM or some thing still computer related. Would that work?

Anonymous said...

I think you just perfectly described my inner resistance to making real-life friends out of blogging friends -- SOOO confusing.

(But then again, many of you are so very much the kind of people I'd love to know in real life, I might just have to give into the confusion.)

Heather of the EO said...

I would explode at the very idea of meeting many of you, yourself included. So I just don't allow myself that daydream. I too appreciate my (semi)sanity.

The BIL thing? totally surreal and waaay fun.

charrette said...

Haha. I do the same neurotic thing, keeping groups of friends separate. I think it's because I've been to too many awkward social events where less-sensitive people thought it would be okay to mix-and-match. Weird.

I'm actually on the fence about Storymakers. Brillig got me interested. But my book's not ready yet. We'll see...

But I swear if I go I'll hunt you down! And Kimberly, and Luisa, and Eowyn, and everyone else. Because in some ways I feel like I know my blog friends BETTER than most real-life acquaintances. I'm totally over the whole compartmentalizing thing when it comes to writing!

But if your head explodes, can I watch? :)

Annie Valentine said...

Does that mean you'll talk to me? And I have never gone to a meet and greet either. I think I don't want to.

But I have met Alison and I do hang out with her regularly. She should be the exception to your rule (other than me).

Janette Rallison said...

If I go to the LDSTorymakers confernce you had better at least say hi to me!

Nancy said...

I forget peoples names when I am out of context...I think my brain has already imploded.