Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A hill of beans

Mexico owes me, y'all. I'm saving their economy one bean at a time.

Seriously, I'm really glad James has the teacher he does this year or I don't know what I'd do with all my extra free time. I mean, today alone I ran around to three different stores because I got the following letter on Friday:

Our class will be creating individual Bean Mosiacs of a California Mission. (Which is super weird because we live in Ohio--not!) This is a graded project. Please bring

  • One bag of black-eyed peas died blue (and that is not MY spelling mistake)
  • two bags of medium beans (2 colors). Brown, red, or white.
  • One bag of black beans
  • One bag of dried peas (green)
  • One large container of Elmer's glue

So I, like all the other dutiful fourth grade parents, went out to find the beans and to make sure that the Mexican farmers can rest easy during this recession, and that at least, I feel good about. But like locusts, the hordes of parents stripped the grocery shelves bare and also...what the heck is a medium bean? There are bags labeled "small beans" and "large beans" but no "medium" bean. Look at that! This whole issue has forced me to engage in the egregious overuse of quotation marks. "Medium" beans. I dare you to find them at your grocery store next time you're there. Go on, I dare you.

Anyway, I slogged through three additional stores until I found the stupid beans, making my best guess on "medium." Imagine if I didn't get to drag two children all over town in search of beans, though. I might have just sat home and done a bunch of time wasting stuff, like, I don't know...cleaned? Cooked? Washed laundry? Bathed the baby?

So, thank you, Mrs. Fourth Grade Teacher.

Thank you.

*Btw, if Tatiana makes it into the American Idol semi-finals and my fellow citizens vote for her, I'm moving to Canada. Kym, do you have an extra room?

23 comments:

Shellie said...

I am going to the store today. I'll be on the look out for "medium" beans.

I'm betting this teacher has no kids.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Homework should not require you to purchase items. That's really annoying. Only slightly less annoying than Tatiana who makes me embarrassed to be a woman.

Christi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Christi said...

Darn it! I thought I could just quietly delete that comment and fix the spelling mistake and no one would know. Instead it looks like I am some weirdo who wrote something so horrible, I had to remove it. Honestly it was just a stupid spelling mistake.

How do you kill black eyed peas blue? And why black eyed peas. They are some of the best of the beans. Really if you want blue beans it should be the navy beans that are blue.

I gave you a blog award, the Lovely Award, because I enjoy reading your blog. Even the stuff about the bathrooms that I try to never go into.

Annette Lyon said...

What a totally bizarre assignment. So much for free public education.

(And I couldn't agree more about T. on AI. She's so annoying, she's driving me to drink.)

Kristina P. said...

Hey, at least you don't live in Chicago where they are asking people to buy toilet paper! Delightful!

April said...

WOW! Who would have thought there were so many varieties and so many sizes. Who gets to sort all of them? (I jest!)

BTW, DON'T move to Canada! They have "Canadian" Idol there and believe it or not some of the judges and even the host can be more obnoxious than Tatiana! True story!

Sara@i.Sass said...

You know what they say about beans...musical fruit...
Yes, I know it's for art and not eating. I couldn't resist.
So now that I know you are the spelling police I feel I should just confess, I am thEE worst speller. I have been trying to get blogger to ad a spell check to the commenty thing for a while now.
I am with you on the American Idol. Those poor people when they saw her walk into their room!?!?! Argh what were those judges thinking? At least bikini girl is out?

Sue said...

Tatiana is insane. And she would like to bring all of us into her world. I can't believe they kept her - I can only assume for the comic value. Yikes.

Becky said...

What, no garbanzo beans?! She must be a bigot.

Mrs.Naz@BecomingMe said...

I agree with Steph...homework should be free---I mean with the exception of a major project or two...loved your PS...I try to stay very kind while watching AI, but I find my self thinking ugly thoughts about miss T. And I know that is wrong...

LisAway said...

Really? Each child is supposed to bring all that? What, are they each making a wall covering? Sheesh.

This is a funny post about a sad story.

Heather of the EO said...

Who doesn't love a bean hunt.

Tatiana=ratings

Annie Valentine said...

I would have sent him with a bag of marshmallows and some food coloring.

Medium beans. Pshtt.

myimaginaryblog said...

RRRGGGGHHHH. I have no idea what I would do in the circumstances, so I sure hope it never happens to me. Who knew sending a kid to school would require you becoming not just a bean-counter, but also a bean-measurer and bean-dyer?

Willow Tree said...

Just so you know I'm dying to see what the finished project looks like. Dying?? Sigh.

I say it every year, but if Tatiana goes through I will stop watching the show. Don't believe me though, I'm a Huge fan.

Blessings, Carolynn

That Girl in Brazil said...

My mother recently blew up at my younger brother's senior year English teacher when he sent home another list.

"But I only send home materials lists about four times a year!" He protested.

"And you're one of six teachers. That would be 24 lists a year. Times five children. I KNOW YOU'RE NOT A MATH TEACHER, BUT WORK WITH ME."

Bravo, Mom. Bravo.

Jami said...

They did this in class at L's school. (We must have boys the same age.) Luckily, they provided the beans.

Lee of MWOB said...

I can't believe you don't know where to buy medium beans. All the cool moms know where to get 'em.

(I hope you know I am kidding...)

But really I love how you were still able to work Tatiana in on this bean post - that is brilliant. She is a lunatic and is only staying around for entertainment value I am certain...

:-)

Sandi said...

That blankety blank teacher needs to be tied to the flag pole while we all go pelt him with a great variety of beans! Or maybe it would be better punishment to tie him to the flagpole with Tatiana!!

Kazzy said...

Those mosaics sure come out looking muy bueno though! You are a good mom.

MoziEsmé said...

Sounds very educational. Maybe they're just testing your concept of relational ideas - big, small, medium? I'm doing that with my 22-mo-old daughter right now... :)

Janette Rallison said...

I hate it when teachers give me homeword to do for my kids. I especially hate it at the beginnig of the year when I have four different teachers asking for obscure items.