Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Yo! Back up!

Dear ladies at the gym,

Mainly the ones in my kickboxing class.

Don't crowd. Sorry if you got here late and are trying to squeeze in on the floor but I got here five minutes early (even with a kid) and if anyone is going to be squished up against the mirror trying not to break it with a flailing kick, it's not going to be me. You dig?

If you cannot find a spot on the floor that doesn't force other people to get to know their neighbors uncomfortably well, or accidentally punch them because they moved over too far when making room for you, then...you can't come in. Go find an elliptical. Or go run outside. It's warm out there. It'll be nice. You'll like it.

But seriously, don't crowd. You've been warned. Next time, I'm not asking nicely. Or even glaring at you. I'm just going to introduce you to my vicious roundhouse air kick. If I don't fall over when I do it this time, it might even scare you.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

The girl that's always getting shoved up against the mirror.

19 comments:

LisAway said...

You have expressed your feelings here very well. I think those ladies should get it. I really hope so anyway because NOBODY should be subject to that roundhouse kick of yours. It sounds deadly.

Luisa Perkins said...

Oh, no! They shouldn't let so many people into the class.

I *hate* getting somewhere early (like Stake Conference) and then being asked/manipulated/forced to move for latecomers. 'Cause I'm mature and Christian like that.

Debbie said...

I hate women who think they can kick your...Oh, wait a minute. Maybe these actually can.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

personally I'm in the camp that believes exercise and mirrors should not mix, but I understand your frustration. The last thing I need when I'm working out is a close-up of the bouncing and sweating.

Kristina P. said...

Man, I need to start kickboxing again! I lost a ton of weight about 6 years ago, and this was mainly how I did it. I loved it!

I would "accidentally" kick box someone in the head. But that's just me.

Annette Lyon said...

From the post title, I thought maybe you'd lost a bunch of work and was warning us to make sure we didn't make the same mistake--to BACK UP our work.

My brain is stuck in one gear, apparently.

Kazzy said...

Yes, you said it. I am a punctuality freak. And now I am afraid of you...

DeNae said...

I can't think of too many people I would want annoyed with me more than a kick boxing mom-of-toddlers. The pent up aggravation alone should have you blowing the roof off the place - and that's just while you strap on your wrist guards. Pass around a picture of your little one, let folks know who they're messing with.

Is it sad that when someone says "roundhouse" I think "steak"?

Stephanie and Co. said...

I'm with Steph@dd; I never could understand why they lined exercise rooms with mirrors.
I always wonder if my kickboxing skills would translate into real life self-defense. You'll have to let me know how that goes for you. :)

Kimberly said...

The mental picture of you trying to do a roundhouse and falling on your butt made me giggle.

Sorry.

CaJoh said...

I recently discovered a great sit-up machine, but sadly there is one guy who hogs it— if only I knew enough roundhouse kicking…

I can just see you practicing your kick and coming inches from their faces— sure glad I'm not taking kickboxing anytime soon.

Lara said...

You go, girl. You, and your vicious roundhouse kick.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee. I love thinking of you kickin' a in kick boxing class.

Heidi Ashworth said...

I think you should reproduce this on poster board and hang it on the door. Hopefully they won't have paid enough attention to the one getting squished into the mirror to identify you.

Mina said...

Never fear, my kickboxing friend! I may have a tendency to run late, but I never, I mean EVER go to a gym.

Chaka said...

It's amazing how rude some people can be at the gym. When I was training clients at the gym I'd see all kinds of people who were clueless about gym etiquette. You'd think she'd know better than to get in the personal space of someones who's hands and feet are licensed weapons.

Alison Wonderland said...

Don't they put some kind of cap on the number of peple who can come to a class like that? (Obviously, I don't go to the gym.) That just sounds dangerous.

Jami said...

Accidents happen. They have been warned.

Eowyn said...

~snigger~

I miss kick-boxing.

And, quite frankly, my roundhouse wouldn't get high enough off the ground to do any damage at all.