Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Best Diet EVER!

Sometimes I'm a natural genius, and other times I stumble across genius ideas. Either way, I'm always happy to share. Today, I've got the best diet idea ever in the history of the whole entire world. EVER!

1. Weigh yourself.

2. Eat right and exercise for two days. (Wait. Don't exercise for two days. Exercise ON each day for two days in a row, but for like, a half hour or hour. 48 hours straight of exercise is just crazy talk.)

3. Step on your scale on the morning of day three. Notice a slight dip in your weight and feel good about it.

4. Let your toddler play on the scale several times that day.

5. Weigh yourself again on day four. Do a major happy dance when you're down five whole pounds. IGNORE the fact that the toddler has obviously tweaked the scale in a way that means it should be exchanged for one that works properly. This scale is MAGIC and you must keep it forever.

Or until the five pound differential starts working against you. Whichever is first.


19 comments:

Wonder Woman said...

The only problem I see with this diet is the fact that I don't own a scale.

I thought you were gonna go on about how skinny you're getting from breastfeeding and I was gonna punch you in the mouth.

:o)

NIKOL said...

I like your thinkin'.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee hee That's my kinda diet!

LisAway said...

Well, I tried #2 (only for a week) and that alone didn't work. Now I know why. Unfortunately it sucked my will to ever try to lose these last stupid 10-15 pounds. Ugh. I'll just go around lookin' chunky, I guess (and buy clothes the next size up. NOOOOOOOooooooOOOO!!!!)

Braden said...

The other day I got on our scale and had lost 40 pounds overnight! And I'd had Mexican food, too. So, that is my diet tip. My three year old playing basketball with the scale had nothing to do with it.

韋于倫成 said...

與人相處不妨多用眼睛說話,多用嘴巴思考,..................................................

Amber said...

I always thought I had the best diet... until I read this. I think I'll switch over. It's much easier.

Andrew & Sarah Clawson said...

Oh- so, that's why I'm probably chunky.. I keep thinking I'm losing weight because of my kids playing with the scale! Yeah!!!! Loved this post!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Oh, the many scales we have had to set free . . .Still--all of them have said I weigh less than the one at the doctor's office (what's up with that?)

The Novelist said...

It also really helps if you keep one hand on the wall when you step on the scale. Not the counter because that would be cheating. Just balance yourself a little with a hand on the wall. It will do wonders for your weight!

Kazzy said...

I love me a cool magic scale. :)

Karen said...

Oh, I love magic scales!

Now if only I could find a way to tweak the one at the doctor's office...

wendy said...

Well, what I need is a toddler to "tweek" my scales.....cause I won't let my hubby within 100 feet of me when I am on the scales!!!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I honestly miss you already because you are not going to be at CBC. It won't be the same without you!

Sarah M Eden said...

Sounds like I need to borrow a toddler.

Terresa said...

Baked Cheetos! I almost laughed aloud to read your comment just now on my blog.

I've been so keen on those, I can't wait to grocery shop later this week to pick up another bag. They are sinfully delightful.

Kimberly said...

I`m kind of wishing I hadn`t switched to a digital scale - genius!

Charlotte said...

Can I borrow your scale? This is definitely the only sort of diet that I can keep.

Anonymous said...

haha that's awesome.