Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Rules I live by

I was at my best friend's wedding this weekend. It was a great opportunity to wear rhinestones and catch up with my college friends. At some point in the evening, we decided to organize a girl's trip to NYC next year. Then they started teasing me about how I had to pick the restaurants because all my vacations revolve around food.

I can't deny it.

Possibly my whole life revolves around food. You know, the non-gospel, non-family parts. Although food is pretty close to a religion for me.

Here are the commandments I live by:

1. In any recipe, thou shalt double the garlic.
2. There must needs be opposition in all things: sweet and salty together are heavenly.
3. If thou shalt have a sandwich with meat, thou shalt also have onion. Otherwise, it's just plain wrong. Oops. I mean, it is an abomination.
4. If a recipe has cream cheese, surely thou art being guided rightly.
5. Tony Chacere's is any meat's crowning glory.
6. I only make one dinner. If thou don't liketh it, thou better learn to nuke your own frozen burrito.
7. Muenster is a holy sandwich cheese. Swiss is merely holey.
8. Artisan breads are divine. Man can't live by bread alone but I bet I could.
9. All hail the Fry Daddy (but not in a golden calf kind of way)
10. Home can be a heaven on earth. So can a dang good barbecue joint.
11. Woe unto you who do not know: food doesn't have to be fancy to be delicious.
12. But verily I must admit, sometimes fancy food is delicious, too.
13. This commandment I give last of all: thou shalt eat slow and savor. Remember you're blessed to have it.



Kristina P. said...

Can I join your church? I definitely feel the more garlic the better. I also hope that means Edward and his creepy nippless will stay away from me forever.

InkMom said...

The four food groups, according to Emily (who is, ahem, me):





(Any of the above in combination, especially.)

Sometimes bacon. And recently, spicy pork tenderloin.

Oh, heaven. I live to eat. I exercise because I refuse to eat things that don't taste good.

And have I got the BBQ joint for you. Blueberry chipotle ribs, anyone? I'm telling you, it's worth planning a vacation to NC just to eat at 12 Bones. President Obama did it. You should, too. But you can stay at my house instead of the Grove Park Inn. Which is still nice. But we can't stay up late chatting if you're at the fancy place. And also I am your east coast Mormon foodie equivalent, so I know all the great little places around here.

Come in the summer. Everything grows here and the produce is fantastic. And it's, believe it or not, actually less humid here than in Louisiana.

When should I expect you?

DeNae said...

Muenster is indeed holy. The perfect cheese. I love it on a coarse grained bread with a slice of fresh tomato, broiled til it's just bubbly. eeYUUMM!

And if you go to NC to eat and play with Emily, take me with you.

Kazzy said...

I love #10. Your southern girl is showing through!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

I'm with you! I live for food!

Melinda said...

I'm hungry.

Off to make a snack. Or two. And then some chocolate...

LisAway said...

Amen! To almost all of it. But are we talking raw onion on the meat sandwiches? Because I don't do raw onion.

If I read this somewhere else I would totally look for the reference. So very authentically scriptorial. :)

Annette Lyon said...

Next time we're anywhere near each other, we hereby must eat out together--you pick, because I can tell we're food soul mates and that you have good food radar.

Dang. Now I'm hungry.

Anna said...

We don't have salt/pepper shakers. We have salt/ Tony Chacere's shakers.

I thought my husband was crazy when he liked it on lots of foods. Then I tried in on mac and cheese and loved it.

wendy said...

As usual with me, I knew I'd screw up with one of those commandments

the last one
but I am thankful

Becky said...

Oh, I love this post! My husband doesn't understand my love affair with food. He told me once that he doesn't want our family holiday traditions to revolve around food.

I've effectively beaten that out of him.

Anonymous said...


Becca said...

So let it be written. So let it be done.


Amber said...

You are awesome. Seriously. These commandments are the best ever. Although, I've never heard of half the stuff you mentioned but I'm sure I will learn about them once we are through with our poor student's diet.

Braden said...

LOL # 7. And amen to the bbq joint. That is one more reason the south is heavenly.