Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Snippets

I am so excited that I can now return to my regular routine of reading and writing blog posts. I've been participating in National Novel Writing Month and yesterday I hit my 50,000 word goal. My publisher has asked me for two books a year and I got a little off my pace this spring, what with new-baby having and new house buying. I needed this to kick off my next novel and get a ton of momentum going, which is exactly what's happened.


Want a sample paragraph? I'll share it (even thought I shouldn't because it's totally unrevised) just because I love it so much:

I'd figured out quickly that Ellie was right. The snarkier I was in my “Single in the City” column, the more readers it drew. I didn't go out of my way to find things I hated about my dates, but I was so, so grateful when I found them anyway. It made the columns much easier to write.

I had just turned in my fifth column the previous night, an analysis of an evening spent with Lewis, a guy who credited the power of some South American berry with righting his gastrointestinal system. In fact, he was so convicted of the power of this berry that he had spent the whole evening describing the change in the frequency of his bathroom visits and the improvement in the quality of time he now spent there. Best of all, I got to hear his pitch off and on through two hours of miniature golf about why I should buy some for myself (“Do it for your bowels!”) and then become a distributor and sign up all my friends (“Do it for their bowels!”). To be fair, I don't think he asked me out solely to sell me on this miracle berry, but really? There's a time and a place. First date, no matter where it is, is not that time or place.

I sat at the kitchen table waiting for my dad to come down. My laptop was open and waiting for him with the column titled “The Bowels of Misery” already on the screen. When he ambled in with his hair still wet from his post-run morning shower, I pointed to his chair. “Sit. Read.”

He lifted an eyebrow but did as commanded. A few times I saw him struggling to keep a straight face. When he finished a couple of minutes later, he lifted his eyes to meet mine. “Did you exaggerate any of this?” he asked.

“Nope.”

He leaned back against his chair. “All right. This guy totally deserved it.”

I grinned. “I know.” Lewis, who I named Frankenberry for the write up, had made this my easiest column so far.

Ah hahahahahaha! So fun.

In other news, it looks like my mom's country Christmas stuff will remain orphaned. Sigh.

And in other, other news, I think I'm going to die of a cough. 

You can still enter my Monday giveaway for Jana's Christmas book. Just go leave a comment. Go on. Do it!

And on Friday, I will be doing yet another book review in just about the weirdest circumstance I can imagine. Short version: I didn't like the book. I told the author I couldn't give it at least a B or better which is generally the only time I'll actually post a review. She was like, "I want you to post the review anyway."

What the what? So I'll even give you word for word her rationale that is the direct cause of me posting my first ever negative review. This is crazy, but . . . okay. So yay. That's Friday.

And I'm off to watch Psych's homage to Twin Peaks. As in the TV show. 'Kay, bye.

13 comments:

DeNae said...

Well, I suppose there is some truth to the saying, "No publicity is bad publicity," because I have now added "read that review on Mel's blog" to my Friday calendar!

And I, too, am looking forward to the Twin Peaks episode (which we DVR-ed)

LisAway said...

So how much longer do I have to wait to get ahold of your first book? And will you be sharing more snippets as you go along your writing way? Please?

InkMom said...

Loved Twin Peaks. Love Psych. Love Hulu. (Just canceled satellite, so it's Hulu or Netflix only at our house.)

Also love Frankenberry. Hilarious!

Tracy Loewer said...

Great excerpt! Were you giggling the whole time you wrote that? Because I would've been laughing out loud for sure!

Susan said...

Can't wait to find out what the book was. Love your snippet, and I can't wait to read the whole book.

Kristina P. said...

Oooh, I can't wait to read that review! I hope you compare it to Mario Lopez.

NIKOL said...

Yo. I'll take the Christmas stuff. I'm not crazy about the Pilgrim and his hussy companion, but the Christmas stuff is nice.

I just recently watched original recipe Twin Peaks via Netflix. I knew going in who killed Laura Palmer since they talk about it in those retrospective pop culture shows on VH1. But I didn't know WHY he killed her. Now that I know? Um...wow. What was THAT about?

Kimberly said...

Do it for you bowels!

Bwahahah! I'm so going to be laughing over that all day. You rock.

And I LOVE Psych!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Can't wait for the negative review! ha ha

YOU GO, girl! I am so so proud of you. November is over. Phew! And you reached your 50,000 word goal.

Me, I didn't even get 50,000 votes. That's been my whole November.

Twin Peaks is still on?

Melinda said...

Good for you with your NaNoWriMo! I don't think I'd be disciplined enough at all! I loved your excerpt! Also, maybe I'm a jerk but I'm so stoked about your review! ;)

Lara said...

Congrats on the 50,000 words!

I would also like to know when I get to read your first book? Loved the snippet.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

lol. I'm not excited about a negative review, but I do appreciate your honesty!

Stephanie Black said...

Great excerpt. The Bowels of Misery is brilliant!