Keep your stones to yourself

I got an email the other day from a friend saying, "I don't know your position on rated-R films but we're going to see The Fighter if you want to come."


Well, my position on Mark Wahlberg films is generally "Yes, please." But my position on R films . . .


Is a little more ambiguous.


I guess I could sum it up as generally "no." Generally.


My overarching criteria for any movie is: Is it uplifting?


I can only define that for myself. I think I've seen five rated-R movies since Kenny and I started dating and only one of them was one that in hindsight didn't really fit the bill. The five are Slumdog Millionaire, Once, Up in the Air, The King's Speech, and This is Spinal Tap.


Up in the Air with George Clooney was a really well-made film and I enjoyed it, but I don't think I walked away a better person for having seen it, or having learned something about the wider world, or having some sort of transformative experience, or even really being uplifted.


Surprisingly, I got a little more out of Spinal Tap which we watched because Kenny owns it and said it was grandfathered in from his pre-rated R ban.


So to define uplifting for me and ME only . . .


Simply put, it enlarges my spirit. It challenges me to think and find a new piece of joy. It affirms that ultimately, people are good and that the human spirit will triumph when it chooses to.


For that reason, there are R-rated films I watch that fit that bill and lots of PG-13 films I skip because they don't. Ergo, I saw The King's Speech and I will be skipping The Dilemma. I'm really picky about R-rated films. I don't even like the stuff that's edited for TV. I couldn't make it through Wedding Crashers or The Forty Year Old Virgin when they were on cable. 


If I think an R-rated movie might pass the "uplifting" test, I check Kids in Mind to see why it got the R-rating. If it's for sex or nudity, it's out. (My brother convinced me to see Up in the Air anyway and granted, there was brief nudity but that was still about a hundred times more than I was interested in seeing. It was like living next to Kristina P's naked neighbors for three seconds) If it's for violence above a "5", it's out. If it's language, I'll probably put up with it unless there's an excessive taking of the Lord's name in vain, in which case, I skip it. The other guideline I use is recommendations from trusted friends and family members. They know how I am and don't point me wrong. Except my brother with that one scene, but he's a heathen.


I can guarantee you that I have good friends reading this right now who are shaking their heads and realizing that they never knew this about me and it's one of the oddest things they've ever heard. I have other friends who are at this very moment scandalized I would watch an "R" film at all.


I guess that's why it comes down to using your judgment and being honest with yourself about what feels right. Believe me, I watch a lot of brainless fluff that has zero socially redeeming value at all, but it's also fluff that doesn't shove images in my brain I can't get out again. I've just figured out what works for me and I stick to it.


Anyway, I don't know how someone who "confesses" to watching the occasional rated-R flick manages to come off sounding like a complete prude, but I guess . . . congratulations to me.


This weekend's movie: True Grit. I hear very good things so I'm looking forward to it.


On to The Mormon Bachelor. You're watching, right? My thoughts on this week: I think Rick Buck is a genuine guy. I like the Washington DC girl, Andrea, the best so far. Not sure how connected they were but she's my first choice. The biggest surprise to me was Samantha because I thought I wouldn't like her (her intro video was too much for me) but I found I liked her way more than I thought I would. And I think the coolest date so far was the horseback riding, but the cleverest date was the geocaching. If you're not watching, go watch. It's a very entertaining three minutes of your day.