Thursday, March 24, 2011

Crazy--like a fox.

(Click here and comment on the post for a chance to win The List and rules for winning other cool stuff.)

I'm going to tell you another crazy online dating story in a second, but first, Erin at If You Give a Mom a Moment emailed to let me know that TODAY only, if you order The List online from Deseret Books (just click that link, it'll take you there), you can get 25% off. Just enter MARCH25 in the check out. That way, even with shipping, you'll still pay less than full price. There! Problem solved for those of you not near an LDS bookstore. Yay!

Once upon a time, in a fuzzy space/time bubble that hypothetically existed before I knew Kenny, I used to date. It was unfortunate this had to happen over the space of many years, but let's all keep in mind that I didn't know where Kenny lived and vice versa or I'm sure many of those dates could have been avoided. All of them, in fact.

Anyway, my friend Brita offered to set me up with an acquaintance of hers, Chris. He sounded good. Most single people my age had some sort of LDS online dating presence, so it was easy to find him on one of the sites and decide the details were okay. My age, solid in church, good job, near by. So I said sure. I didn't contact him or anything. I just waited for the date to roll around. And then the afternoon of the double date came and it fell through because this Chris guy went scuba diving with his brother out at Catalina and wasn't going to make it back in time.

Wait, what? He stood me up? 

I don't think so.

This next part will sound stalker-ish. I promise, I'm not now, nor was I, a stalker. But this is what I did next. I decided to go visit my friend Nate at his singles ward. Where Chris happens to go. Nate thought this was very funny. Chris had no idea I was coming. And when he wandered over to meet me after sacrament meeting (I looked good, guys) a flicker of recognition showed in his expression, followed by a a dawning expression that said, "I can't believe I passed on HER to go scuba diving."

Which was really the point of me dropping in that day. 

But neither of us said anything. There was no acknowledgment of the date that never happened. We just exchanged hellos and chatted like I did with several other people that day, and then I went home.

Sure enough, it took about one day flat for a message to reach me from Chris via the same online dating site where I'd found him. The rest of the story is not important so here's the gist: we ended up going out. It was fine, not spectacular. I would have said yes to a second date but he didn't call for one. However, our lack of connection aside, this guy was a good catch at a lot of levels. So I did something half crazy.

I honestly can't remember the details, but I'll reconstruct this next part the best I can. What you need to know before reading it is that I'm an INCORRIGIBLE matchmaker and I'm pretty good at it. Two marriages to my credit, thank you very much. And I don't mean mine. I mean, two friends I set up with other people are now married. 

So this is what I did. I knew Chris and I were not a fit, but it seemed a shame to let him go to waste out in Podunk, CA. I did a little snooping on the dating site and found a profile for a girl that I KNEW would hit it off with him. And I sent her this crazy email. I was like, "DON'T DELETE this even though it's going to sound bizarre. But there's this guy  you should check out . . ." so I pointed her in his direction and warned her not to let him know I was behind it because he would definitely think I was a psycho. 

Girls, I'm not. I am and have always been totally emotionally stable. But the spidey senses were tickling and I knew I had this right. Um, also, I didn't mention to her that I had gone out with him once or she would have that I was a nut job, too. NOT a nut job. Just a good matchmaker.

So she checks out his profile and emails me back. "You're right. He's my type."

Me: Duh. (I didn't type this out loud. It's just that I know these things. I'm exactly like a classy millionaire matchmaker, except totally different.)

Anyway, this girl's name was Angie, and she would email me every now and then to update me. She lived in Arizona, but she was going to come out here to meet Chris. She met Chris. She clicked with Chris. (Duh.)

And then I think my part in everything must have come up with him and it probably came across as extremely odd (it was, I know, but I couldn't help it. The man needed a WIFE and I could tell just what kind he needed so I found him one.)

That's right, IT WORKED. Because the next thing I heard of them was Nate telling me that Chris was getting married to Angie.

Boo-yah! #Winning! Whatever else you want to say for I WAS RIGHT!

And um, of course, thrilled that I could play a small part in them finding joy. Oh, who are we kidding? IT WAS ALL BECAUSE OF ME!

And of course, I have never heard from either of them again because they don't want to keep a relationship with their scary Internet "friend." Or so I assume. The truth is, once they were in touch with each other, I washed my hands of it because my work was done. Angie did ask me at one point why I was doing it, putting them in touch. And I explained. "Sometimes I just know stuff. You guys should date. Believe me or not, but you'll be a good fit."

I guess she believed me.

And though I haven't talked to either of them since, I'm sure I remain an  . . . interesting . . . footnote in their shared history.

And now you guys know I really am a lot bit nuts.


Kristina P. said...

I am good at finding people babies. Maybe you and I need to go into business together.

Karen Peterson said...

I think this just became my favorite online dating story EVER.

I have a couple of matchmaking credits to my name, too, but nothing nearly as cool as that.

Melinda said...

I do not matchmake. I've never even thought about setting people up! You have me curious, I can totally see myself getting obsessed with making matches though...

Jessica B said...

I've never made a match! But I have definitely paired people up in my head. At this point, 98.6% of my friends are married.

Barbaloot said...

So why is it you have not yet set me up?

JK I'm a hot mess when it comes to blind dates.

Susan said...

This sounds oddly familiar. I love it.

Vivian said...

What a cool story!!!!!!!!!!! I did my job of setting up in the past and it worked! It's a tremendous feeling! I used that experience in match making for myself when I met my husband and even before I knew his name or who he was, I KNEW he was for me!

Tracy Loewer said...

That's so awesome! I've got a couple of matches to my credit too, although nothing that resembles your level of skill and intuition, lol. It's always so fun to see things work out.

LisAway said...

You freak me out with your fox-like (?) intuition. I have a few psychic stories of my own that I don't think I'll ever share because they're pretty personal. Just know that you're not the only crazy fox out there. (don't ask why I keep referring to your title. It's just something I do. And also, "lis" in Polish means fox, and is often conjugated "lisa". How awesome is that? Except unfortunately in Polish you don't call a "hot chick" a fox so only Americans who speak Polish get it. Or the people I specifically tell about it, like for example in comments on blog posts)

Carolyn V said...

That is actually very cool! I've never been as lucky. The friends that I set up always ended up breaking up. Oh well.

L.T. Elliot said...

You. Are. Awesome!

That's one of the things I love about you, Melanie. You're fearless! (And I totally snickered at the interesting footnote.) ;)

Charlotte said...

How cool to be the crazy footnote in a love story? You must have some real talent there. Maybe the internet dating sites should hire you to help make the matches. Then you could match strangers all the time without the label of possible internet stalker.`