Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Dumbest giveaway in the world.

(This is one of the most airheaded giveaways I've ever done, but stick this whole post out to find out how to win a copy of my new book, Not My Type. All right, continue.)


The problem with asking people to review my book is that they might ask me to review theirs. Publicly. And I might hate it. And it could go very, very poorly for me. As did the last review I posted for a book that wasn't my favorite. Ack.


So when Jolene Perry was like, "Sure, I'll review your book. Wanna review mine?" I was like, "Uhhh . . . yes?" And I had this really weak smile plastered on my face. Which is sort of stupid because Jolene lives in Alaska and  it was an email exchange, anyway.


I'm sure you've figured out by the very fact that I'm even telling you all this that it turns out I had nothing to worry about. The Next Door Boys by Jolene Perry is her debut novel and it's a great read. I don't do long reviews because I don't want people to bounce away, so here's what you need to know in one of my patented World Famous Two Sentence reviews: 


The Next Door Boys has a main character who is wonderfully flawed and utterly sympathetic and lovable. The whole crew in this story is kind of awesome but in a completely believable way; this is great LDS fiction that you will enjoy spending a few hours with.

What? That was a semicolon; therefore, it was still a two sentence review.


You can read what it's about here. And check out the super cute cover: 



You can click to buy it here or here.


And then of course, THE GIVEAWAY.


Here's the thing. I got all excited about helping Jolene promote her book. And sometimes I have these really good ideas. But they're more like really "good ideas" because I have them at night and then in the morning, they make no sense at all. So I was like, "Yeah, I'll totally review your book! Ooh, and we can do a giveaway of my book to get people to read yours!"


You know what? That really does make perfect sense when it's late and you're sleep deprived. But now I have no idea what I was thinking when I offered her that. *Shrugs.* She was kind enough not to point out that I'm a crazy person though, and so here goes a very ridiculous giveaway.


In the book, the main character, Leigh, spends some time coming up with the most perfect costume for a masquerade ball. And since it's Halloween time, your entry to win MY book (oh my gosh, SERIOUSLY, this giveaway could not make LESS sense) needs to be your favorite Halloween costume you ever wore. Just tell me in the comment trail and that counts as your entry to win. (Jolene, I'm so sorry. This really seemed brilliant on no sleep. WTH?)


Got it? To promote Jolene's book, The Next Door Boys, you're going to comment on your favorite costume you've ever worn for Halloween. Because that's connected to HER book. But then somehow you win MY book.


Ah, crap.


All right. I shall now play.


I have two. When I taught 8th grade, my students would ask me every year what I was going to dress up as for Halloween. And every year I told them I wasn't going to dress up because I had to dress up every day and this was the one day a year I got to wear my OWN clothes. And then I'd show up that day as a witch. And they'd be like, "You said you weren't going to dress up . . . OH!"


And then another year, in a I-have-five-minutes-to-come-up-with-something frenzy, I threw on a bathrobe, stuck a curler in my hair, fastened on my pearls and smudged my lipstick. DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE. Easiest costume I ever did and it also got the most laughs.


All right. Your turn. You have until Saturday night. GO! (If you already have my book, you can win a wood piece of your choice from Kenny. As in a small wood piece. None of you can claim any bowls. I have dibs on ALL of them. ALL THE BOWLS.)

37 comments:

Tori said...

I am a blonde, so one year in college I painted a red cut on my neck and went as Nicole Simpson.

Jolene Perry said...

Dude. I want a bowl :(

Last year I made myself a "Jane Austen" dress and ran up and down the parking lot at our trunk or treat just because I COULD.

Long dresses are fun . . . especially when you can wear them with chucks :D

Jolene Perry said...

Oh!

And I think the costume thing is Brilliant. It is . . . however . . . a might bit late . . . after a really long day.

Wonder Woman said...

My absolute favorite Halloween costume that I ever wore was in 1st grade. I was a jack-in-the-box. It was all my own idea. I got a big box and had my dad help my cut holes for my head and extremities. There were letters on the sides, and I wore a clown wig with a painted face. The box was so wide I barely fit through the door to my class. I couldn't even sit in my desk. The picture my mom snapped at my class's Halloween party shows me sitting on the ledge of the small sink, because that's the only place I COULD sit.


It was seriously the best costume ever.

Melody said...

One year I decided sort of last-minute-ish to dress up for the ward Halloween party. I was able to borrow my sister's friend's homemade long green dress, I made a quick crown, and I carried a hymn book as the Statue of Liberty. I was pretty impressed with how it turned out.

But the "favorite" thing is a bit hard. I also liked the 5-minute pirate costume I put together, including a blacked-out tooth, which garnered a lot of comments.

And when I was about 6 I was a ballerina. I always loved dressing up as a ballerina.

And I think you're funny when you're tired. :)

meradeth said...

I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, as it indicates a level of geekiness that hasn't ever gone away, but in the 2nd grade I was a Lego. As in, I took a big dryer box and added fried chicken buckets to one side, and inverted them on the other, then painted the whole thing red. I thought it was awesome. Looking back, I'm not so sure :)

Kristin Baker Przybyla said...

Jolene is awesome, I freaking love her! I also have two favorite costumes. The first was when I was in high school and I dressed as my favorite animal, a unicorn. (YES! They're my favorite animal!) I made the costume myself with lots of veil, tulle, ribbon, lace, and glitter. It was gorgeous. One of these days I'm going to do it again.

My other favorite is my old standby of recent years: my everyday clothes. See, I like to dress like a pirate ALL the time. I'm rabid about Pirates of the Caribbean, so I mix my normal wardrobe up with a bit of pirate/steampunk/gypsy chic. For Halloween, I just add extra accessories and a corset and BAM! Instant pirate! What I really love is on a normal day, people will stop me and say, "Oh, I love your outfit!" But anytime in October, people will stop me and say, "I love your costume!"

Susan said...

I already have your book but I wanted to comment. One year for our ward halloween party I was a black widow spider. I had the extra arms and everything. Then I zip-lined out of the spooky looking three hundred year old house, right over top of the people taking a hayride. It rocked.

Alice said...

One year I dressed up like an old lady - got an old lady dress from Good Will then stuffed the bust and the rear end with crumpled newspaper - got my grandmother's old black hat, you know, the kind with the little veil in the front? - sprayed my hair gray and put it in a low bun - drew wrinkles and Voila! Hum...that was about 30 years ago...but I'll never admit that I'm approaching now what I looked like that Halloween! LOL!!

Barbaloot said...

I totally have your book and I totally wanna win a wood piece now:)

Um, favorite Halloween costume---that's hard cuz I kind of hate Halloween so I never put much effort into it. My future favorite costume that I swear I will one day do is Madame Mim from Sword in the Stone. Does that count? But this year I'm gonna be a star-bellied sneetch.

Stephanie Black said...

Hmm, favorite Halloween costume. There was that year my mother made matching Miss America costumes for my sister and me. Pink silky skirts and lacy tops. And I liked that witch costume I wore one year, with the silvery glitter decorations on the hat and the black cape.

Kristina P. said...

My mom made me this awesome Hershey's Kiss costume, when I was in the 5th grade. I won the costume contest at church.

Becca said...

I have your book. If I win another one, I'll give it away on my blog. And make up some random contest to pick a winner. Because it seems like such a good idea!

(I'm a Halloween hater. Sorrrrrry.)

Last year I wore false eyelashes and a fake hairpiece. To go for the groceries.

Abby said...

I am in LOVE with Jolene's book and I am DYING to read yours. Yes, DYING! So I'm going to give this my best shot. (And I don't think your giveaway is that crazy. I love Leigh's Halloween costume, AND it's OCtober, so it totally makes sense!)

SO... for the Halloween dance my senior year, me and my date went as Oscar the Grouch and "the girl grouch" lol. It was hilarious and we won an award. We looked absolutely hideous. Painted ourselves green. Made big black uni-brows. My hair was ratted and a mess of pig tails. We had on green sweats and garbage cans around us. OK... not as sexy as Leigh was in her costume, but it was fun, creative and nobody could top us!

Karen Peterson said...

Melanie, you make me laugh!

I think my very favorite costume was in 3rd grade when I was a princess, in a homemade dress. A teacher asked, "Are you a real princess?" I looked at her like she was the dumbest person on Earth and said, "Nooooo."

It's either that one, or the year my brother and I dressed up as each other. The next year, our Stake had this weird rule about not cross dressing...

Paily said...

This is my plan for this year... does that count? I'm 8 months pregnant, and we currently use baby as a magic 8 ball. We ask her questions and if she kicks then the answer is yes. So I'm going to dress in all black and make my belly look like a magic 8 ball. I'm super excited!

Melinda said...

I love doing our whole family in a theme, I think my favorite was when we dressed up as Popeye, I was Olive Oil, my husband was Bluto, our baby was Swee' Pea, My oldest was Popeye, and our middle child was a can of spinach (we stuck her hair all up and sprayed it green even). It was a lot of fun.

We'll see if this year's is my new favorite though, because my sister is doing a masquerade ball and I'm almost done with my "steampunk" costume. Have you heard of it? Google steampunk costume, I'm loving it! :D

The Lovely One said...

When I was pregnant, my husband helped me make an oven costume, with a glass door that showed my belly. Another year my three girlfriends and I went as the fruit of the loom guys. Homemade costumes are always the best!

Erin said...

I was a giant green M&M one year. Yum. Now I'm hungry.

(That book sounds really cute. Love the two sentence synopsis.)

Andrea said...

My favorite costume that I ever wore for Halloween was probably a biker chick. Don't get the wrong idea-it wasn't skanky at all. It was very simple. A t-shirt that looks Harley-ish, covered with a black leather jacket, and worn with jeans and my black leather heeled boots. Stuff I could wear any day (although I'm only a heels at church type girl-too painful). I did add a black wig and some red lipstick. It was easy and fast.

Gayle said...

My favorite costume was one I made in 7th grade -- a tube of toothpaste. I made it from an old sheet and used colored permanent markers to copy the info from a real tube of toothpaste (front and back). Then I made a cap out of accordion-folded paper. I even managed to hang on to the costume and my son decided to wear it last year (in all its dilapidated, faded glory!).

Meghan Smith said...

My favorite Halloween costume was in 5th grade. I came to school as a business man who forgot his pants. (Note I am a short, blonde female.) I came wearing a black wig cut like a boys, a shirt and tie with a suit coat, boxers, knee high dress socks, dress shoes of my brothers, and a briefcase with papers flying out the edges and a half eaten bagel. I wish I could post a picture, I looked good.. good enough to win a new book : )

Annie Sue said...

One Year my Mom made me a dress of Winifred from Hocus Pocus and made my hair stand up! She gave me the big red lips too! if you don't know who it is google Winifred Sanderson. It was great!! I looked AWESOME!

Kristin Baker Przybyla said...

I have to post about my daughter's favorite costume too because it was so fun: Darth Pizza. She got a pizza costume from Walmart and wore a Darth Vader mask. She got so many laughs that night!

Emma said...

When I was little, I had an obcession with Annie--seriously, I watched it over and over, driving my parents crazy--so for halloween I went as Annie and made my brother be a dog.

But, my favorite would be the year I dressed up as Sleeping Beauty and made my brother be Prince Phillip.

Did I mention my Halloween costumes usually include forcing my brother into things?

Alyson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alyson said...

this isn't a costume of mine but rather a costume I had my mom wear last year. She didn't want to dress up for work so I wrote "GO CEILING!!!" on a white shirt, put her hair in pigtails, and wrote #1 FAN on her cheek with eyeliner. She went as a Ceiling Fan :-)

Erin G. said...

My friends and I went to an institute halloween dance as Lost Girls. People thought we were pirates, but no, we were lost girls. Complete with wands and pirate gold and smudged dirt on our faces. It was lots of fun! :)

Rebecca H. Jamison said...

It's usually cold here on Halloween, so I like to go as a Russian Babushka. All I need is a big flowery scarf to tie around my head and a big wool coat.

Sarah said...

My favorite costume ever was when I went as Tinkerbell. My mom made me wings that were shiny and I made these cute little puff balls for my feet. I think I was about 7.

Donna K. Weaver said...

I love your stories. Too funny!

I used to work at the Bishops Storehouse and Halloween fell on a will-call day when people would come to pick up their orders. I had purchased this mask (back before they asked us not to wear them) that I had to glue over my face in pieces. It was a skull, and the jaw was separate from the rest with black face paint around the outer edges, eyes, nose, cheeks, and neck. Then I had this dark, dark green fabric (hey, it'd looked black in the store and it was on sale) that I'd used for the shroud/robe thingy. When things got really busy, and they needed me to come out and help, there was this huge Polynesian guy who was next in line. I offered to help, but he stepped back, shaking his eyes, his eyes huge.

Never wore that costume to work again.

Jen said...

My favorite is actually my husbands costume. He made an AWESOME and pretty realistic Optimus Prime costume out of card board and duct tape that he painted with leftover paint from some other project and the wheels from our toddlers broken ride on toy. total cost $0.

Kimberly Montgomery said...

I've never liked the whole "corporate" let's dress up as a team thing. Really? I'd rather not dress up...unless it's MY idea. Anyway, one year my boss decided we should dress up with a "farm" theme. We also decorated our cubicle area to make you think of farm stuff. My boss dressed up in a bumble bee costume. I have to admit, she was cute. But the rest of us had to come up with an idea of our own AND get it approved by the team!! Seriously! We actually had a meeting to coordinate. So, when it was my turn to tell what my costume would be I said: "I'm going to be 'Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm'. --I liked that I threw in a literary reference. Everyone LOVED my idea. They all said things like: "Perfect...that makes sense with your sunny (no pun OR sarcasim) personality." The day before dress up, one of my colleagues brought me a pretty ribbon for my hair and said something like, "I can't wait to see you tomorrow." My costume was actually very understated. I came dressed in my regular clothes and put one of those "Hello, My Name Is..." tag on my shirt pocket. I wrote in the name "Rebecca". That was it. (At least I thought it was funny.)

Sierra Gardner said...

I totally understand the "brilliant" ideas - I have them too ;) And it doesn't surprise me at all that Jolene's book is awesome - adding it to my to-read list now...

Ok, I'm back. My favorite Halloween costume was probably the only one I wore when I was in high school. My little brother wanted to be a ladybug but didn't want to be one alone so my mom made us really cute matching outfits. Everyone thought he was a little girl but it was super cute!

Jolene Perry said...

See Melanie??
It all makes sense, and the costumes are AWESOME!!

polkadotsock said...

Back in preschool, my mom made my sister and me adorable Crayola Crayon costumes. 10 years later, I asked for a recreation of it, that's how much I loved it.

little wif' robertson said...

When I was young and in high school my parents didnt have the money to buy me a new coustom, so I went to my grandparents house and we turned me into a giant smilly face! The cardbord cutout was so big I couldnt reach around the side to grab the candy so my grandpa cut out the eyeballs. When I needed to grab something I stuck my hand out the eyeball everybody thought it was hilarious!