Friday, November 4, 2011

When upon life's billows

I've decided that I must the kind of person whose moods fluctuate so wildly that I don't even know what normal is. As in, maybe I don't even know that I'm crazy. Or better yet, wildly fluctuating moods IS (my) normal, therefore, I will endeavor to embrace it. I'm just going to hug the good times so I'm near about squeezing the life out of them, doing barbaric yawp-ish carpe diem type stuff, and then when those moods sneak up on me where I'm like, "I have no talent, I have no friends, BUT I DO HAVE zits," then (and please avert your eyes if you are above vulgarity but sometimes there is only one way to explain things), I will kick that mood in the nuts.

Let me be clear here: I am not prone to depression. Anxiety, yes. Depression . . . not so much. These are fleeting moods that annoy me only because they're also recurring. When I have these little talks with myself and then I realize, "OH, YEAH! I HAVE LOTS OF BLESSINGS!" I am generally fine within a very short period of time. It's just annoying that I even need to remind myself sometimes that my life is pretty awesome.

The cure (for me, because remember we're not discussing anything clinical-grade here), is free, fast, and instantaneous: counting blessings. Trite but TRIED and TRUE.

So I am going to count some now. 

1. My good moods outweigh my self-pitiful ones by a lot. Think mountains and molehills. I have lots of big, sparkly mountainy days. I'd say . . . 90/10 split. But I'll ask Kenny. He's better at math.

2. I am living every dream I've ever had for myself. This should probably be a dramatic #10, the clincher, the ooh-la-la. But it's what I thought of next and I don't want to edit.

3. My kids love to hug me. Even my twelve-year-old will accidentally say he loves me sometimes.

4. My husband adores me and I know it. 

5. I have really fast Internet access and I can connect to amazing people who have made my life richer and better because of it.

6. Books that make my soul happy deep down. Finishing up Peace Like a River again. I love that book so hard.

7. Bathrobe and hot chocolate days. I declared one this morning. I feel like a genius right now, because nothing goes better with a rainy morning. And for dinner: gumbo. A perfectly bookended day.

8. Old things. I love stuff that's been around. At least in small doses. I love our old piano and our old books.

9. Roses. I didn't used to love them. I still don't want them in a bouquet (bring on the tulips or daisies). But we inherited a ton of them in our yard and there is something pretty perfect about waking up to a testimony of Heavenly Father every morning because that's what those bright, gorgeous things remind me of every time I glimpse them outside my window. (Wow. I know that paragraph just made you wonder if you accidentally started reading someone else's blog in the middle of my post. Nope. Still me. Roses are pretty. Just saying.)

10. Kenny. Oh, look at that. I really did save the best for last.

And now, unrelated to anything, totally unprompted by me, Mary at The Sweet Bookshelf is giving away a prize pack of both of my books on Kindle. It's super easy to win and you can check it out here. If you already have my books, (clearly you love me and also) you might like to gift them to some Kindle-owning friend if you win.


Mary De Bastos said...

I have to remind myself of all of my blessings too. Then I realize I'm living an amazing life!

Thanks for the shout out! There has actually been an amazing response. SO many people have entered and the clicks on your interview post are high so far! Way to go! I've even had people emailing me and facebooking me how much they loved THE LIST and didn't know you had another book out! THIS IS AWESOME! I love helping people find good books, and yours aren't just good, they are GREAT!

Kenny, the Husband said...

Hi, Sweetheart. I love you.

Brittany said...

Ooooh, are you bringing gumbo today or tomorrow? That makes me happy. And you had a rockin' book club at your house last night. I think that was the best book of the year.

Barbaloot said...

Oh, I totally forgot what I was going to say when I saw Kenny's comment. Nice work on that one:)

TheOneTrueSue said...

Yeah, I'm jealous that your husband comments on your blog. My husband mostly tries to pretend like mine doesn't exist. I think it gives him migraines.

I love your list.

Donna K. Weaver said...

What a lovely list, Melanie. And #10 brought tears to my eyes.

"Even my twelve-year-old will accidentally say he loves me sometimes." made me laugh.

Whenever I'm feeling like this I use the time for internal reflection (not the voices begging to have their stories told), but my personal voices. It's a time for self evaluation, to look at ways to do like you did and count my blessings but also to look at ways I can improve. Then with my new marching orders, I'm ready to move forward.

Thanks for the reminder.

Kristina P. said...

I am thankful that I don't have to have poor people cable.

Vivian said...

Counting your many blessing is the perfect exercise when we are feeling blue..or close to feeling blue. We work on it every day as a family. I made this board and we change the list of the things we are thankful for daily. Our home is a better place because of it. Really enjoyed your list. Happy you are Happy!

Susan said...

Instead of buying me a dozen roses every now and then, Bryan planted me a rose garden. Now I have roses from April to November, sometimes December. And so, whenever I want to bring the happiness inside, I go cut a view, plop them into my cobalt blue handblown vase from colonial Jamestown and place them on the center of my kitchen table. Or he does it for me.

That's the good stuff right there.

Stephanie Black said...

I so love your blog. You have such awesome voice. Great list!

wendy said...

Now I'll be singing that song.
I think it helps to even WRITE those blessings down (which I haven't done..but should)

With everthing going on in this world, Anxiety is pretty much a given.....and the busier you are, the more crazy?? (tee,hee)

I am now NOT busy...just homesick, and a little heart sick for my son who passed away nearly a year ago.

Had to resort to the happy that I can even stand to be around myself. sheeeesh
so now I'll go hum that tune while concentrating on MY blessing....which I know are many.
and I am thankful

I liked that book too.

Jill Campbell said...

Great list. Can't wait to read Peace Like a River in my p.j.s with hot chocolate.

Becca said...

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Amen and amen.

Happy making, these sorts of lists are. And why, why did I just write that sentence as though I were Yoda? I cannot tell you. We'll just enjoy that, too.

You are a joy to me. Remember that?


Kazzy said...

Counting my blessings is a habit I need to pick back up. Sometimes I forget and that is when I find myself feeling a bit "blech." Great reminder. Thanks, Mel.

Karen Peterson said...

I used to tell myself in those moments of feeling down that my life isn't bad compared to other people. I realized that's really not the way to go and that counting my own blessings makes me feel a lot more cheery.

Anyway, I love your list. And it made me giggle when you mentioned your son accidentally saying he loves you. Too cute!