Thursday, August 21, 2008

Penance for publicly whining

Do you know what happens to a girl who is blessed to take an awesome Alaskan cruise and then has the gall to whine about the sub-par buffet selections? Do you?

She gains seven pounds in two weeks. Ha! ha! ha! ha!

The following section contains a bunch of swear words that I would say if I still remembered how to swear except I don't because I'm too virtuous for that anymore: #^#&(*#__)#Q27@^$(^&%^%!$^&()(#%^$&#*#)$@&@$_%*$*56@@*##(%&#%#&()#@@&!*##$*&$#()$.

That's what I get. I sure told me.

So the counterattack begins. Gym everyday (I'll be seeing you soon, personal trainer/Spanish Inquisitor Zeb), healthy cooking (must buy stock in Jennie O turkey), and my favorite: rewards!

I pick:

2 pounds: Yo Yum Yum frozen yogurt, with mochi balls!
5 pounds: Yo Yum Yum and a manicure/pedicure
7 pounds: Yo Yum Yum, a new shirt, and we can eat out once
9 pounds: Yo Yum Yum
10 pounds: Shoes or an outfit

Is it bad that most of my weight loss goals include food? That's probably not how it's supposed to go. &%$*#%^!

I don't care! I get a frozen yogurt treat every time I lose two pounds and who's going to stop me? Oh, and don't tell Zeb. He's big and scary and will glower at me from beneath his unibrow and the frozen yogurt will taste like dirt if he knows I'm eating it. Shhhhh.

Off I go to eat my instant oatmeal because a half pound of crisp bacon from the cruise buffet every morning? Bad idea.

5 comments:

Kimberly said...

Hee hee...you're too cute! I do the reward system too. I get an ipod when I hit 180.

I've been between 185-187 for oh, about nine months now.

Rewards work. Unless you like cookies more than ipods. Sigh.

Good luck!

I started a dialy exercise program yesterday. Down 1.3 pounds already accordingly to me Wii. Woot!

addhumorandfaith said...

Cute post. It isn't just eyebrows that sneak up on you, is it! Good luck with your weight loss. I am up 20 lbs. and I can't seem to lose it, but I go to WW meetings faithfully anyway. I figure the weighing in each week at least keeps me from gaining!

Josi said...

Anything that motivates is a good thing--I use food all the time. WW is a great program, I lost 7 pounds on it, which was my goal weight and learned a lot of really good things. I felt a little funny being as I wasn't overweight, but it was a good thing all the same. Good luck to you and Zeb :-)

Alison Wonderland said...

I love that your rewards are food. That's awesome!
I thought I was too virtuous to swear too but then I hit my hip on a door handle the other day and ... it turns out I'm not.

charrette said...

This is hilarious. I keep losing and gaining the same seven pounds...and muttering the same pretend (and a few actual) swear-words under my breath in disgust.

I'd like to join you and your lightening-up campaign.

But my reward system would be more like:
2 pounds...chocolate
5 pounds...more chocolate

I think I'd be better off vying for Kimberly's i-pod!