Friday, November 7, 2008

I'm not saying this happened. Let's call this, "What if..."

I'm thinking of selling out.

Don't go looking for ads in the side bar, because I don't have enough readers or energy for that. No, I'm talking about how my friend Emily posts recipes and whatnot for her friends and family and gets hundreds of hits a month from total strangers anyway following her recipe links.

I was thinking for the holiday season I would start posting my favorite recipes in my Friday Favorites to artificially inflate my Google Analytics returns. I'm starting with this one:

Recipe for Disaster

1 big kid
1 toddler
4,392 legos
1 toilet
1 non-latching bathroom door

Tell the big kid not to leave his Legos around. Tell him about a million times. Tell him until it makes your left eye twitch to even think about saying it again.

Let your toddler roam around upstairs because you're distracted paying the bills (cough, playing Insaniquarium, cough) and then become concerned when everything's really quiet and you don't hear random thumps any more.

Hurry upstairs to find toddler-sized handfuls of the big kid's Legos in the toilet and watch as the toddler pitches in another fistful and then claps in delight and amazement.

Don't shake, though. Anything or anyone. Unless maybe it's your head.

17 comments:

LisAway said...

That closing paragraph contains some very sound advice. I believe we can apply that one at the end of all sorts of similar recipes.

I'm not sure, but I only know about two of your recipes at this point, the one given in this post and your mint fudge recipe. I find it a tiny bit disturbing that you posted this recipe as one of your favorites before the mint fudge one. I'm not saying you're crazy or anything. They're both really good recipes, I'm sure.

Annette Lyon said...

Various Lego disasters (including stepping on them in the dark! OUCH!) is one of many reasons I am glad to have ONE son. Polly Pockets aren't nearly as disastrous. (And the vacuum can conveniently suck them up accidentally . . . not that that's ever happened . . .)

Heather of the EO said...

Legos are a mother's nemesis.

YOU SELL OUT. This is almost as bad as having those blogher ads!

myimaginaryblog said...

This would never happen if you let your kids watch enough television.

(So how did you clean it up?)

Melanie J said...

Clean up was easy. I just flushed.

Linda said...

Well, be gald you have boys or else you would have those wonderful Barbie doll shoes to step on!

*MARY* said...

My kids once flushed my credit card down the toilet, and I prefer Diner Dash.

Kimberly said...

We've yet to have such an experience but our girls are young yet. It's only a matter of time.

I'm going to go close the new stairgate Neil just installed...thanks for the reminder.

Anonymous said...

My youngest brothers are twins, and when they were 2, we regularly had the plumbers over to fish out shampoo bottles, toothbrushes, toys, etc. I think the most fun they had was flushing most of the contents of a 20 lb bag of tangerines... one by one. Lots of laughter before my parents figures out what they were doing and stopped them.

Amy

Kristina P. said...

I would totally follow your recipe blog.

Emily said...

:)

Mina said...

I prefer random, entertaining antidotes to recipes. Recipes are ubiquitous, good writing, rare.

Heather said...

Wow, that really made me laugh! Thanks!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

oh, the long list of things that toddlers have sent down toilet pipe wonderland. Deep down I know that the cordless phone, car keys, and other essentials that have been missing for months are probably resting in our plumbing as I speak.

Alison Wonderland said...

Toilets are always fun!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Heee hee hee. I wish I had thought of that!!!

Sue said...

My kids tried to flush an apple last week. An APPLE. And they are NOT toddlers. Oy.