Friday, November 28, 2008

It's all about the swirly

My littlest son is obessessed with toilets. We spent a good part of our time yesterday chasing him out of the bathroom at my in-laws' house because the little kids kept forgetting to close the bathroom door when done, which sent an irresistible invitation to my littlest one: must come splash and play, NOW! And he'd zoom straight for that porcelain goodness, cute little diapered bottom wagging while he speed crawled to his personal toilet nirvana.

It was close a few times, but we managed to catch him every time. This isn't always the case. My nine-year-old got to give the baby a bath for the first time when he forgot to close his bathroom door after multiple reminders and baby G had a splashing good time before anyone caught him.

I know that this is some kind of commentary on my deficiencies as a mother and how I should take him to the pool more or something, but I'm going to ignore that and look for the deeper lesson here which is that....

Wait, I'm thinking. I'll find it in a minute...

Oh, I know! The lesson here is that we all need to look for the "toilets" in our life. The things that call to us to play but really are a bad idea. Which I guess makes my personal "toilet" the holiday cooking magazines I keep buying at the grocery check out stand. I knew my hips didn't need it, my budget couldn't take it, and my stress-related cortisol levels would shoot up dramatically, and yet I still made twelve brand new dishes in two days.

I need to flush.

Hm. That didn't sound right. I meant metaphorically.

And I'm so not taking my own advice because I just made it up so that I could pretend there was something worthwhile in all the toilet prevention yesterday.


Kristina P. said...

You are too funny! Mine would be reality TV. I can't stay away!

Anonymous said...

I feel guilty for missing the Black Friday "sells" because I'm too lazy to figure out what I should be buying today, and too cowardly to face the crowds, and now you and TAMN have just reinforced my bad behavior by making me happy I was home to read her and your posts -- aloud -- to my husband, both of us laughing. It doesn't help my Christmas shopping get completed (I guess that is the "toilet" in my life) but it sure gives a good start to the weekend (after the other good start of sleeping in.)

(But now I'm ashamed for writing a rambling comment without a punchline. I'll go eat some gingerbread men and feel better.)

Are you going to tell us which were the favorites from your holiday cooking experiments? We made our standby pomegranate/raspberry jello and it was very well-received. And I did the aforementioned gingerbread men with the kids, so that's more holiday cooking than I did last year (SAD.) Oh man I am rambly today.

Good luck keeping your water adventurer away from the twalette.

Mina said...

The toilet of my life. Hmmm. Buying chocolate "for the kids?" Blogging? Reading?

LisAway said...

Funny. I think my current toilet is wanting to stay in the house and never, ever leave. Not even to take out the trash. Fortunately there are some things that can only be done outside the home (shopping, going to church, taking out the trash etc.) so I am forced to get out now and again. Otherwise I would totally be a hermit.

CaJoh said...

I think that going out to eat is my personal toilet— not that taking my wife out is bad… it just "eats" into my credit limit all too quickly (pardon the pun).

Kimberly said...

You are such a hoot! Finding deeper meaning in otherwise mundane events is part of what makes blogging so darn fun, I think.

My toilet is fairly obvious, I think. I'm here instead of cleaning my house, aren't I?

Actually, funnily enough, I sat down to read this post literally thirty seconds after I finished cleaning a toilet.

I washed my hands first though. Promise.

Chris said...

I wish I had something with deeper meaning to say, but I can't get past the TWELVE NEW DISHES in TWO DAYS part.

You must be a relative to Super Woman! WOW!

Alison Wonderland said...

Oh kids that age and toilets. My Baby isn't quite that bad but we've had a few toilet water related changes of clothes at my house too.

I don't know if I have any and I'm not going to work too hard to come up with one.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee.

Hey, you have a 9 year old? I thought you were like 24 with one toddler. You look so stinkin young, girlfriend.

Kazzy said...

LOL I love the toilet nirvana idea! If it's not the kids in there then it's the dog. What can you do? It's hard enough to get the men folk to put the seat down. Asking them to close the door too would just be impossible. Funny post!

Heather of the EO said...

I have a whole lot of toilets. (Not literally of course!)
You're hilarious!

This post just came up on my reader now. Weird!

Stephanie and Co. said...

"Personal toilet nirvana." Hahaha. My daughter's nirvana is toilet paper related. Maybe we could start a bathroom club for them. Or not.

charrette said...

LOVE the line about speed-crawling to his personal toilet nirvana! Haha!

Now, since I have exactly four toilets in my house, I will give you my top four "toilets":

1. Trader Joe's Candy Cane Oreos (Joe-Joe's)
(Run and find some! They're fabulous, addicting,
and nirvana-inducing.)

2. Runner-up is Cadbury Christmas balls --- they're like M&Ms on gourmet steroids.

3. Dare I say Blogging? (Although I've had a very long blogcation lately. But notice how I rushed right back as soon as the door opened up!)

4. Um...still thinking. But if I don't stop right now I'll be late for my hubby's office party. No nirvana there! HA. That's the 4th one -- running late!