Monday, December 8, 2008

Dog food is on aisle 3.

Lessons I learned this weekend while Christmas shopping:

1. Don't wear a red shirt to Target. Ever, really, but especially not during the Christmas season. It makes people angry when you tell them you don't work there, even if you are wearing jeans and not tan pants.

2. If you go thrift shopping to find a hideous sweater for an ugly sweater party, don't hold up what YOU think are ugly sweaters and ask the thrift store employee which one is uglier as she might be offended and point to one and say, "I think that one's nice." And sniff. In indignation.

3. Make a list. Your memory is never as good as you think it is. Or you can just make three trips back to the same store and have people glare at you and your red shirt.

17 comments:

LisAway said...

There should be a rule that you can only work in a thrift store if you "get" it. If you are unable to make fun of a good part of the "merchandise" then find a regular store to work in.

And please never mention Target again. It's one of the main things I miss about America and I cry every time someone mentions it in a post. For three days afterward.

LisAway said...

(Oh, and I am a major thrift store fan, and I love reading anything about Target, and was unaware that dog food can be found on aisle three. Thanks for that.)

Annette Lyon said...

You can wear a read shirt. Just make sure you're dragging small, screaming children with you. NO ONE will stop you. But you may get a few dirty looks anyway. :D

Shellie said...

Its true I always look for Red Shirts at Target. One time when I was at a store Bebe (NOT THAT I COULD FIT INTO ANY OF THEIR CLOTHES ANYWAY!!!) I saw this lady who I thought was an employee so I asked her a question and she was really offended that I thought she worked there. and I was like DUDE! are you kidding me? I mean how can that offend? all the girls that work at BeBe are small and tiny and dress uber trendy???

Don said...

You've hit on something with that red shirt. I think next time I'm bored I'll wear a red shirt to Target and see how many people I can misdirect before management has me thrown out. It could be fun.

CaJoh said...

1. Do not know how many times I have been asked where something is in the grocery store (perhaps it's because I'm wearing a tie).

2. I don't thrift, nor do I wear hideous sweaters (sorry).

3. My wife is always making lists, so I don't have to. I don't think I should make a list to remember all the lists (that would be overkill).

myimaginaryblog said...

I love wearing red and I love shopping at Target, so, yeah. (But I also do the small-screaming-children thing that Annette mentioned, and it helps. With not being asked for help. Not so much with the not needing help myself.)

Mina said...

I have gone to Target in a red shirt and tan pants. YIKES!!! Why couldn't my kids point that out before we left the house, and not in the parking lot? I never let go of the cart and I made my kids keep addressing me as mom more than is natural in normal conversation.

Aubrey said...

The only thing worse than the red shirt and tan pants at Target is the red shirt and tan pants at Target on Black Friday.

What can I say? My brain was still asleep. One of those mistakes you just don't make twice.

Kristina P. said...

So, I went to DI a couple weeks ago and could not find any ugly sweaters!!! I found many at KMart, however. Stay tuned for our Christmas card!

Kimberly said...

I'm laughing. But I'm doing it in Canada so it's not technically AT you, right?

Alison Wonderland said...

Improve everywhere did a thing where they sent 100 people into best buy wearing blue shirts and tan pants. The report on it was really funny.
Sorry about your ugly aweater moment but it was awesome anyway.

Debbie said...

I once wore a red shirt and khaki pants to Target. It was kinda fun to run around pointing people to what they were looking for.

Heather of the EO said...

All I can say is that I love your sense of humor.

I want to wear a red shirt to Target tomorrow, just to see what happens.

Sue said...

I don't have a red shirt.

Just thought I'd share.

You're welcome.

charrette said...

One of my friends had a calling -- or maybe it was just an assignment? -- to go to DI and sort through all the donated goods and decide what was too junky to sell and what was stylish enough to put out on the racks. Now THAT, I tell you, is power!

I LOVE that you wore a red shirt to Target, during the holidays! I'll be careful not to make the same judgement error. :) But they probably only stopped you because your CUTE! :)

Eowyn said...

~snort~

Been there and done that. . .all but the sweater thing.