Friday, December 5, 2008

How to make a flaky crust

Alllllllrighty, then. Back to my special holiday series of Friday Favorites, centered around recipes you just can't find anywhere else. Today we have an unusual recipe:

Grossness Supreme

Ingredients:
1 child (more per your preference), between ages 4-9
A wall, by a bed or in a bathroom works well
A box of tissue

Directions:
1. I like this recipe because all you have to do is combine the ingredients and just wait. You won't even use the tissue. Just make sure your child (8-9 year old boys work especially well)* has regular exposure to the same wall for an extended period.

2. Check the wall carefully after a week.

3. When you find crusty boogers wiped on the wall, your Grossness Supreme is complete. For extra grossness, wait until they've hardened and blackened (the Cajun version). This works best if your child has a top bunk and you don't regularly inspect that wall.

*Note from the test kitchen bathroom/bedroom: your quotient of Grossness Supreme will automatically increase on the downstairs bathroom wall if your child has friends sleep over. The recipe doubles or triples depending on the number of days the child stays.

17 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Wow, this made me throw up a little bit.

Josi said...

Having just recently done a thourough cleaning of bedrooms I can add my expertise to yours and verify that this is in fact a perfect recipe, and no regarder of gender since the girls are just as gross as the boys, however the boys will grin when confronted and the girls will emphatically deny it and blame it on their gross brother who will grin even wider while farting. Ah, children, such treasures.

Annette Lyon said...

My girls are worse than my son on these things. Ick is right.

CaJoh said...

Love the twist— since so many posts I've seen lately are recipes this one "takes the cake"… sorry, couldn't help the pun.

Mina said...

We have this recipe, too. My son is the chef.

My daughters haven't learned the recipe as evidenced by THIS conversation (which I must admit is maybe 6 or 7 years old) which took place while driving in the car:

#2: Mom, I need a tissue.

Mom: Oh, I'm sorry baby, I ran out and haven't put a new pack in my purse.

#1: Just eat it, [#2], that's what I do.

Mom: Ugh, don't EAT it. Let me see if I can find a napkin.

#1: Eat it, [#2]!

#2: *eats it*

Mom: *vomits a little in her mouth*

#1: See, I told ya.

Sue said...

YUM.

Emily said...

I am still laughing my butt off! My twin brother TOTALLY did this growing up! I was so glad we didn't share a room!

Stephanie and Co. said...

Ewwww. My ewww come from first hand knowledge of this particular recipe. My daughter is a master at Grossness Supreme.

Linda said...

Can't , thank goodness, say that I have tried this recipe.
gross!

Debbie said...

Stealing my recipes? That is just wrong.

LisAway said...

We don't make Grossness Supreme. It's against the word of wisdom. The one that says, if you're wise, you'll never to that because -- NASTY."

charrette said...

Hahaha! GROSS!
My youngest made that recipe once in church, loudly proclaiming in an audible old-lady whisper to my husband, "I don't eat the slimy ones. Just the crunchy ones." Retch-o-rama!

On a more personal note, sometimes I actually wish I were a pie crust (NOT of the boogie variety) because then flakiness would be the supreme criteria for greatness, and all would be right with the world!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Umm, yep. The cajun variety is apparently a favorite around here. And I do NOT understand why there are some above MY bed sometimes. ... honey?

Alison Wonderland said...

I'm telling myself that we don't make grossness supreme around here but in reality I'm sure I just haven't found it. Yet.

Anonymous said...

I seriously shouldn't make this comment other than anonymously.

We have this recipe on the walls in both the girls' and the boys' bedrooms AND on a couch. The couch culprit is female, and the worst thing is that I can remember making the recipe as a child -- when I was in the middle of reading a good book it seemed like so much work to go get a tissue.

Just don't tell my kids about my dark past.

Iguana Montana said...

In my house the cake pan is the corner of the mattress rather than the wall. Changing bed linens can be a disgusting experience...when your hand intercepts something crunchy and crusty on the corner of the fitted sheet?

Ugh.

Eowyn said...

Oi. I have that all over my walls.

Grossness supreme is right.