Monday, January 26, 2009

Today, Tim Tams. Tomorrow...the world?

Let's just clear the air up front...today's post is going to suck. Not because it's in and of itself bad. It's just going to suffer from over-hype. You know, like the last Spiderman movie? Anyway, after all the ballyhoo on Thursday, I thought you should be prepared. This is an okay post. Compared to the hype, it's a lame post. Or I think it will be. I haven't actually written it yet. I guess we'll find out together...

So I think Kevin Costner is going to try to sue me for intellectual property rights, or maybe that chick who wrote The Secret is going to come after me, but whatever. I'm dealing with blogging, not baseball diamonds in cornfields or whatever The Secret is. I don't even know the secret, so I can't have ripped it off. That means what I'm about to reveal to you is 100% genius. Ready?

Okay....

If you blog it, it will come.

Seriously.

My blog is kinda just my thinking place, but I see these bloggers who get hooked up with major swag to sample and review or give away, and I've thought, "Nice gig. Wonder how they do that? Huh. I'm gonna make up some random numerology crap now."

I guess I figured if you're blog famous enough, people will want to advertise on your blog and pay you in STUFF. In fact, I think that's how it usually works. But now, thanks to my genius brain, I don't have to become famous to start getting stuff, AND I don't have to just smile and nod over whatever random stuff companies decide they want to send me.

You've got it all backwards, people, if you thought like I did. The truth arrived in a FedEx box last Wednesday. I opened it up and guess what tumbled out? Check it out:

Yep, my beloved Tim Tams. See, I discovered they are temporarily on sale at Target through March and then it's back to Australia only. So in my joy, I waxed eloquent on my love of Tim Tams and even tried to peddle them to unsuspecting Tim Tam virgins, secretly hoping to develop a legion of addicts, thereby increasing the Tim Tam consumer base and perhaps make their U.S. debut permanent.

TWO different companies doing the marketing for Tim Tams discovered my bloggy love and sent me Tim Tams. FedEx. For FREE.

If you blog it, they will come.

Why did I think I would have to be famous? I have very strong anti-fame feelings that I will perhaps post one day, but I just figured I'd have to trade away getting free stuff for the security of blog anonymity.

I don't! I can have free stuff AND still toil in obscurity!

Suh-WEET!

So I had to think carefully about how to wield my knowledge. It's good I used the weekend to ponder this. I mean, if I'm going to proclaim my love for something and have it show up in my mailbox a week later, I gotta pick the right thing, you know? So after careful consideration (True Religion jeans? Concert tickets to a hot show? A cosmic mute button for Paula Abdul? Scratch-n-sniff stickers?), I have made my decision.

I'm shouting to the blogosphere...

I could really use a monkey!

You hear me? Bloggy gurus? Great and Terrible Oz? Yoo-hoo!

Monkeys rock.

Just sayin'.

P.S. FedEx, you can leave it on the doorstep if no one's home. I release you from liability. And it will answer to the name of Sampson. Eventually.

25 comments:

charrette said...

Lucky you! I love it when the universe rewards non-famous people with their favorite cookies! (You should see how many boxes of Trader Joe's Candy-Cane Oreo's I got...not from the blog fairies, but still...)

Luisa Perkins said...

Wow! I clearly need to raise my expectations. Congratulations!

Josi said...

Hate to burst your bubble, but I've hard Monkeys make really lousy pets--to prove my point just watch Madagascar "If you have any poo, throw it now."

But super awesome on the Tim Tams. I gotta ponder this one.

Kristina P. said...

WHAT?!?!?!? I blog about all kinds of crap and I never get anything sent to me. Did you see all the publicity I gave the Snuggie people? SO much more than that Time magazine article that just came out.

But I'm not bitter. Much.

earlfam said...

How did they get your address?

Nancy said...

Abba, dabba, dabba, said the monkey to the chimp. I think you need to clean (crap) out of your vocabulary.
Your #1 son is very cute! I know #2 is cute as well.

Annette Lyon said...

I totally need to make a list of things to blog about now: new car, days at the spa, favorite foods . . .

Kenny, the husband said...

Baby, why don't you start blogging about how much you L-O-V-E houses in Laguna Niguel!!!

Kimberly said...

All I got was a box of tampons. No fair.

I didn't even ask for 'em.

The monkey line? Made me laugh. Like. Out loud even.

Stephanie and Co. said...

Wow! That is so cool. Good luck with your monkey. (Really, a monkey?!)

Sue said...

You know, I blogged about Dyson AND Lexus and neither one of those jerk companies sent me anything. JERKS.

Annie Valentine said...

This is the coolest news ever. And Kristina totally deserves a Snuggie.

Emily said...

Nice. Once, I blogged about my love for Hi-Chew (a Japanese candy) and I'll be darned if someone didn't send me a pack directly from Japan!

Mimi said...

My friend just wrote this post questioning how to deal with free stuff...your love to Tim Tams aside, she posed the question: do you write a review for free stuff? and if you do, do you have to write a good review? check it out at www.breakingeveninc.com

Herb of Grace said...

Bwaahahahaha!

If only this worked for all those blogging away in obscurity.

April said...

LUCKY!!!! I wonder if it would work for money! Who would send the money? hmmmmm......

Sandi said...

I would totally go for the Paula Abdul mute button. But thats just me.
Wow this is kinda cool, who knew?

Chris said...

Wow! Your blog inspired me to write yet ANOTHER Tim Tam post today! HA! I believe that makes five. :) But who's counting. :)

boysmum2 said...

We can get Tim Tams in New Zealand, but then seeing as most of our stuff comes from Australia then I am not surprised!

I love Peppermint Patties and loads of other chocs from America, but nobody ever sends that stuiff to me down here in NZ!

Jami said...

I'd like to help the Universe out a bit. However, if I FedEx one of my monkeys to you, CPS would be on my doorstep for the other five like flies on poo. So I can't help you out. Monkeys are VERY cute! A little messy, a little noisy, a little wild, but when the Universe sends you your monkey, you will have SO much to blog about! Congratulations in advance for your good fortune.

Shellie said...

I got an email from them that they'd send me some tim tams if I blogged about it too! I bet they got my link off of your last tim tam post. yay! how long did it take to get them?

Debbie said...

Look at you! What does the power feel like? Does it extend to other aspects of your life? Like if you blog about Orlando Bloom, will he show up? Not that I would try that or anything.

Kazzy said...

Geez, where did I go wrong? All I seem to get are bills and junk mail, and I sure haven't blogged about my love of those! Congrats on the treats!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OmGOSH! That is so awesome! YAY Kevin Costner. And you will be famous quite soon, I predict because you're just getting better and better like that!

Alison Wonderland said...

And you're not sharing in your tim tam windfall? Yeah, I don't blame you.