Saturday, January 10, 2009

Yes, it's really YOU I'm talking about.

Whew! You guys really took me at my word yesterday. So as Crash Test Dummy would say, let the lurve begin. I shall now pour forth the compliments.

Oh, wait. A gentle correction. This was not a clever scheme to solicit comments, although once it was pointed out to me, I decided that it was such a good idea that I almost feel like I should take credit for it. But... it didn't exactly go down like that. My happy number is 15. That's the number of comments that makes me feel like I've been heard, that I'm engaged in a dialogue with virtual friends and acquaintaces that gives me my fix of grown ups for the day, and that it's worth sticking my thoughts up on a daily basis. I've been averaging about 18 comments, and that's what prompted The Love.

I was reading another comment that came in on Thursday night, and it occurred to me how cool it was that I could wake up in the morning, ask for suggestion on TV shows, and have 23 people leap into the gap to offer ideas by bedtime. And I got this little warm tingly feeling because people were so quick to offer help with something so inconsequential. While all that tingly love bubbled around, I decided to show my appreciation the only way I know how and say "thank you" for all the little comments people make that brighten each day. But the only way I know to thank folks in a way that each of you can know that I mean YOU, really YOU, is to pay you a little compliment for YOU only, so you know that I mean it. It's like a little gift specific to your personality and what I know about you.

And one more thing before the lurve begins...a disclaimer in the form of the story. Once back in my college days, I was hanging out at a dance club with my friend Sarah and I met this guy named Paul. We chatted and he told me where he was from, his major, blah-blah-blah, you know how it goes. I ran into him a couple of months later and since I have a good memory, I asked him about some of the stuff he had mentioned to me in the previous conversation. But he didn't remember me at all and he was taken very aback that I knew he played tennis and what he was studying and I could tell by the look on his face that I had just become A Crazy Stalker. I tell you that to tell you this: I pay a lot more attention than most of you probably expect, I'm an honest person, some of you I read even though I don't comment much or at all, and I don't want anyone freaking out if these compliments are specific and detailed. Yes, I stalk you, but only virtually and I won't be coming to your house any time soon to lurk, so let's all take a deep breath and relax. Just feel the lurve!

*A side note. I just finished this post. And while it was not hard, it took a lonnnng time. I had to stop halfway through and fortify myself with Cool Ranch Doritos and root beer. I love you all so much that I sacrificed Weight Watchers points for you. You should feel very, very special. Mostly because of that, but also because....well, because you are special. Can't overlook that. And while I'm rambling and interrupting myself in the middle of my post, does anyone know why Crash doesn't stop by here anymore? I miss that dummy.

CaJoh: I think you are a real gentleman. Your comments on other people's blogs are always kind and thoughtful. Your words always strike me as well-measured and I love how much kindness and respect colors your tone when you mention your wife.

LisAway: I admire so much your commitment to living the gospel in a foreign land and your thoughtfulness in sharing your beliefs. I can tell your convinctions are carefully considered and deeply felt. I like your writing and how easily you relate little glimpses of your family life. You really have a knack for drawing your children's and husband's personalities in a way that makes me feel like I've been to Poland and hung out with you. And I like how encouraging and thoughtful your comments are on other people's blogs, especially mine!

Chris: I enjoyed the enthusiasm you had for the Tim Tams and how sweet you were to worry about "making" me send them to you. I admire you commitment to collie rescue. I think that people who care deeply for animals are kind and compassionate.

Debbie: I so enjoy your blog! I love your sense of humor and even better, your sense of perspective. I think it's cool that you take time to personally respond to my comments and I thank you for making me laugh every day.

Don: Although you haven't commented on my blog often, I think I can make some pretty safe inferences from what you've said here and other blogs where I've noticed you drop in. You come across as thoughtful and considerate and in this case, I offer those as two distinct qualities. Your comments have often made me smile. I suspect you have a gentle spirit.

Mina: I'm so glad I discovered your blog through your comments. In fact, I'm adding you to my blogroll this weekend. I have no idea why I haven't done it sooner. I enjoy how articulate you are in both your blogging and commenting and how you never make throwaway comments. I think that's really cool. You come across as a very real chick, which is my favorite kind.

Luisa: I've been stalking you a lonnng time. I respect your passion for writing and all things cultural. I think you showed exquisite taste in the art and poetry you shared through Christmas. You are well-spoken (written?) and I have no doubt that your determination will pay dividends in your inevitable publication.

Stephanie: I really like your Gaining Equilibrium blog. Even though you haven't made many entries, each one is a gem, and you definitely are a writer at heart.

Jami: I love that you tell like it is! You are a straight shooter. You're so smart and knowledgeable and I like that your opinions are so well-considered, even if it means you have to change your mind about something big (you know what I'm talking about, right?). I like that you'll go to bat for your kids at school or for any reason and that you have no interest in putting up a front about who you are, spiritually or financially.

Alyson (New England living): I only know you from CTD's comment trail, but that's enough to tell me some things. You are sharp and witty and I always enjoy reading your comments over there. I think you're very on the ball and a lot of fun.

Kristina P: Geez, where do I begin? You make me laugh. And laugh and laugh. Your blog is a bright spot in every day that you choose to post and it's one of the first I'll go to when I start each day. You're so off the wall and creative and generous in your comments to others. Oh, and in sharing nudity and stuff. I'm in your debt forever for inventing chacon.

Annette: You have been so remarkably generous to me on a personal level by sharing your counsel in my various writing dilemmas. I also think you are incredibly articulate but it's in a subtle way, which is not articulate of me at all. What I mean to say is that your intelligence and common sense shine through in your blog posts without looking like you're trying. I think it's cool that you're so generous in encouraging others in the craft of writing with both of your blogs, and I totally dig your word nerdiness. We're kindred spirits that way!

Elizabeth: A lot of what I know about you I know through stories from Kenny, since we've not spent much time together in person. But based on the various ways our paths cross (FB, Goodreads) and my husband's tales, I respect your strong convictions, your commitment to your family, and your unswerving determination to do right by them. I appreciate your friendliness toward me, and you rclear sense of who you are. I think you are a wonderful example, even to someone who votes Republican less than half the time. :)

Zina (at myimaginary blog): Oh, man, do I look forward to your comments every day! I think you're a great writer with a fun sense of humor and I like the little slices of your life you share on your blog. I'm a little jealous of how creative you are with your sewing and different projects, since I am a barely competent crochet-er. Thanks for so regularly perking up my day when you stop by.

Kate: You sing it straight, sister. I think you show a remarkable sense of perspective in dealing with your convulted blended families, and you seem like just the kind of fun chick I like to hang with. It's a good things our paths never crossed at ye olde BYU or there would have been trouble a-plenty. We are soul sistahs in our shoe love (I'm trying to keep my collection down to forty pairs), and occasional snarkiness. You have a fun life to read about.

Emily: I LOVE that we have reconnected. I had no idea you were such a good writer until I started reading your blog, but you come across in your posts the same way you do in person: warm, funny, enthusiastic, optimistic and REAL. I'm delighted that you're a mother now and it's so fun to have you drop in for comments. I look forward to reading more of Emily's Musings!

Linda: You rock! I love you and Uncle Mark so much! You have filled a void in my life since losing my parents that I couldn't possibly explain. You are so loving and enthusiastic and caring and generous and make me feel like I am NOT a forgotten orphan. I love that you love my husband and children as much as you do me. I have so much respect for your decision to follow that call to become a nurse when you could just be taking it easy right now and enjoying life. I think you're so stylish and I just love the passion you have for life. I want to be like that!

Charrette: Such a wise, wise woman. I know I just told you yesterday that your blog is one of my happy places, but I want to say it again. I wish that we could hang out because I know I would enjoy you so much. You have such a huge brain, a mighty spirit, and yet...you are humble. I think you're wonderful.

Sue: Hi, writing partner! I'm so glad we're working together now. I think your comments are insightful and right on and I appreciate your critiques. But that aside, I know I'm the ten billionth person to tell you that you're hilarious, but that's because it's true! You are refreshingly honesty, and I LOVE it when you tell it straight. I think you're smart, INFORMED, and articulate and I want us to hang out, too! Mainly it's so I'll have a reason to write about your left elbow which has been so valiant in supporting your wrists and metatarsals in the pursuit of your brilliant blogging.

Herb Of Grace: You're always such a fresh breath of air when you stop by. I don't know you or how you found me, but the fact that total strangers can engage in conversation about each other's lives....well, every comment from you is an affirmation of my choice to blog. It's a reminder that we're all a giant community no matter how far apart we range on a map. Thanks for speaking out from time to time and reminding me of my membership in that larger community.

Nancy: You are the most gracious person I have ever known. Your warmth and kindness have made some of the most uncertain times in my life more bearable and your love and acceptance of my child have helped BOTH of us to feel anchored when everything else was topsy-turvy. I'm in awe of your culinary prowess, your artistic creativity and your generosity of spirit. And I will yet defeat you in Scrabble, but that doesn't mean I love you less. I look forward to visiting you soon!

Annie: Okay, I'll stay away from your dress size, especially since that's a poor measure of a person. And especially since you are far more than that. You are witty and funny, which are not always the same thing, and you're another one of those people who keeps it real. I find that rare and invigorating. I think you're a strong writer and your words are well-placed. I like the transparency you offer into your life and your willingness to invite other people in. Sometimes it's the little glimpses into other peoples' challenges and victories that make us feel less alone. Thanks for helping me to realize on a number of occasions that if I am crazy, I'm not the only one!

Sandi: You have excellent taste in movies and books. If you could do a dramatic re-enactment with me of several key scenes from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, then I'm sure we can be freinds for life. I also have a great deal of awe for someone who mothers four daughters. If I have even ONE I'm trading for one of my SIL's boys. Brave, patient woman....that's YOU!

Shellie: I have never known anyone who has such fantastic recall for the truly strange and hilarious incidents of their long-buried pasts as you do. Except for me. But I am selfish and totally unwilling to share, whereas you have an amazing capacity to laugh at yourself and make gray skies blue. And you're pretty. A smart, funny, pretty girl? The world is at your feet! I can always count on your blog for a good time. And since the Teen Witch clip you posted, I have seen "Top That" references every where. (30 Rock this week). And I've never seen it! Imagine how many more times that would have slipped by me without me ever realizing there even was a reference without YOU to educate me. Thank you!

Kazzy: Another wise soul. Your blog is a nice place to visit. I always walk away feeling better after reading a post even though it's nothing earth-shaking. There's just a quiet surety in the way you blog that I enjoy. And I so dig the singing. You have a great voice.

Christi: I went and snooped around on your blog today. I think it's awesome that you're committing to your fitness. I think I might HAVE to have a Wii Fit now. It's like the Wii sports we currently play just won't cut it anymore. I admire you for homeschooling your kids. It suggests a patience and far-sightedness that I totally lack. I also enjoyed your subtle sense of humor (getting back into a shape besides "round"? Classic) and I'm delighted you dropped a comment in my box.

Kelly: You are part of some of my favorite memories from my misbegotten mid-twenties. You are so accepting and so loving and you always made me feel like I was part of the family when I had no idea where I fit. I love your enthusiasm and easy laughter and how crazy you are about your kids. I will be forever grateful that you were there to help through James's birth, with your calm and cheefulness. It made a very overwhelming situation so much more bearable. And my mom? Totally loved you.

Kimberly: One of my first true blog friends. So friendly and happy to help with annoying blog questions. You're so generous with your comments and I'm in awe of your honesty when you write. I love the scope of your imagination and how easily you paint beautiful word pictures. I admire your introspection and desire to be better and the truth that you speak to yourself. I cheer for you daily!

Thank you all for giving me an outlet where I get to feel like a sane human being for a brief part of each day. You're the best!

27 comments:

Kristina P. said...

This post was so wonderful, Melanie!

And I think everything you have said about others here could be said about you.

I always love your posts. In fact, your blog is my Favorites folder in my Reader, and one of the first blogs I read too! Thanks for being a great blog friend!

Josi said...

Dogonit--I missed it! but I know you love me best of all anyway, so I'll just be happy with that little personal security :-)

Stephanie and Co. said...

Wow! You are so thoughtful. It was so fun to read about everyone's good qualities. Thanks.

david mcmahon said...

Thank goodness for people who pay attention. Life is so simple when we do just that!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I have a weird stalkerish memory too. This was such a nice post. Wish I'd checked in a day earlier, but I'll just call up a friend and tell them to tell me how wonderful I am. That will help. :)

Annette Lyon said...

This is one of the coolest posts I've ever read. You obviously put a ton of thought into every single one.

And I'm totally grinning over here. Thanks for being such a sweetie.

Heather of the EO said...

I read the post and then never commented for a compliment. Now I'm SOOO regretting it. Your compliments are so great! What a fun post. (I'm really not digging for my compliment, I loved reading the others, although I'm sure mine would have been about how I selflessly suggested you NOT send me my second give-away win and...um....stuff.) :)

Mina said...

You are so smart! People love nothing more than to hear about themselves! Look at all of the friends you're making. I know you are my new best friend. I'm going to talk about you in the next fast and testimony meeting.

(Actually, thanks. really. It is nice to hear good things. I'm hating this blogging week, and this post relieved that a little. And how could I make a throw away comment at such a great blog!)

Linda said...

Oh sweetie, I only have two things to say; I love you and pass me a tissue!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

oops, PS: Thank you!

CaJoh said...

I always admire someone who remembers things. I knew someone who hadn't seen me in over three years and was able to pick up and remember what I was doing back at that time and ask me about it. I always used to think that's how someone in sales gets to be a great salesman— but I now realize that it is a great skill to have.

I also appreciate your observational skills. You describe everybody so well— of course being such a good writer helps you truly say what you see in such an eloquent way.

Thank you,

LisAway said...

Man, I needed Doritos and root beer after just READING this! (Too bad they don't have either in Poland!) This was intense! No, "This person is very nice, that person has a cute layout, that person's kids say funny things, this person leaves funny comments" from you! Those really ARE some heavy duty compliments. I love it and I thank you. And far from scaring us off, I think it's made us appreciate your observational skills as well as your ability to see and appreciate other people's strengths.

Jami said...

This took forever to read. I had so much fun going to every blog I hadn't visited before and getting know everybody.

Thank you for your kind words. (And yes indeed I do know what you were talking about.)

What a sweet way to use your talents.

elisa said...

Awww, you rock :) And I have no idea how I found your blog, but I like your style, so you're a permanent member of my blogroll. Thanks for the shout-out :)

And now I'm off to check out all the other bloggers you rave about!

Julie Wright said...

I could wait until one more person comments and then be fifteen :) ah well. This was an awesome tribute girl. And I think that's funny that you remembered that guy's conversation and he didn't at all. I remember weird things. I have a hard time with names and faces, but the details and stories . . . they get remembered forever.

Sue said...

My wrists and metatarsals sincerely thank you, my friend. And really, in terms of the critique partner thing - I'M definitely the lucky one. You're just so talented.

Emily said...

You are so well written and clever, I love reading what you want to say everyday!

I'm glad we reconnected too, and thanks for the bloggie love!

Luisa Perkins said...

Well, shucks, ma'am! Thanks.

I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes, one that is posted on my doctor's office wall:

"That which you observe in others you strengthen in yourself."

Sandi said...

well that was certainly worth leaving a comment- makes me want to say something nice to each and every one of my daughters...by the way, would whoever you talked into taking yours be interesting in taking one of mine as well???

Kimberly said...

I am in awe of the time and effort you put into this post. Wowie!

Also, so wanting to go read the blogs of all these wonderful women but...must...not...add...more...blogs...

And thanks for the sniffles. So have to go find some kleenex now.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey, I'm here! I'm here! I stopped by all on my own and no one even told me you missed me. I missed YOU TOO! And now I'm not the RS President anymore so I'm not so blogged down!

This was a beautiful post and I know exactly exactly exactly how you feel. I feel exactly exactly exactly the same way about each and every friend. Even when I don't express it.

This reminds me of the TL game. I don't think it's a real game. I think my MIL made it up. But I want to do it on my blog sometime soon. I'll make sure to link lurve to you when I do.

Oh, and better clear it up that lurve is not my word and I don't want to get sued for borrowing it. It's tamn's word everyone. I stole it from Tamn.

Alison Wonderland said...

Wow, that's a long one.

But you're cool for doing it and for my feelingabout having missed the boat please see my comment on your last post. Thank you and good day.

Nancy said...

Thanks Melanie...

Debbie said...

Well, that's a lot of lurve being spread around. Thank you so much! And I will have to check out some of the fine folks on this list that I don't know. I am happy to say that I know quite a few.
And as for you, your blog is fabulous. I love your humor and insight as well as the honesty that comes through. And I greatly appreciate the fact that you come over and comment on mine so regularly.

Melanie's sister. said...

Um...hi.

Shellie said...

Melanie it was fun learning about everyone! thanks for the nice things you said :) I really love your blog.

Eowyn said...

I"m so stinkin sad I missed this. I totally could have used a comment on the 10. Rats!

I'll keep reading anyway cuz I love your blog!

Melanie's Sister said...

Aunt Linda told me to read this because she wanted to see what kind of compliment you would give me. Make her proud.