Wednesday, January 21, 2009

You can count on me

So I've decided to believe in numerology. You know, where every number has a meaning, and they all add up to stuff that means other stuff. Like here's something that I stole from Wikipedia:
Number definitions
There are no set definitions for the meaning of specific digits. Common examples include:

1. Individual. Aggressor. Yang.
4. Creation.
7. Thought/consciousness.
9. Highest level of change.
10. Rebirth.

Digit summing, as the name implies, involves taking the sum of all of the digits in a number, and repeating the process as necessary until a single-digit answer is produced. For a word, the values corresponding to each letter's place in the alphabet (e.g., A=1, B=2, through Z=26) are summed.


Hello → 8 + 5 + 12 + 12 + 15 = 52 → 5 + 2 = 7

Anyway, it turns out that different cultures assign different qualitites to the same numbers, meaning the Jews don't necessarily think that "3" means the same thing as the Chinese do. So I figured I could make my own numerology meanings for stuff.

Like for example, my birth date adds up to the number 8. And 8 is the exact number of chocolate frosted donuts in an Entemann's box. My birth date is clearly telling me to eat more Entenmann's chocolate donuts.

Cool, right?

The possibilities are mind blowing. My wedding date adds up to 4. That obviously indicates that I should get four gifts on every anniversary. And the word "candy" adds up to 3 (3 + 1 + 14 + 4 + 25 = 57 = 5 + 7 = 12 = 1 + 2 = 3). And there are three meals a day and I think that means that I'm supposed to be having a piece of candy at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

But it doesn't stop there! Today's date adds up to the number "2". And that's how many shoes come in a pair. So I guess I better get over to the mall and hit the Steve Madden store. The numbers say so. Or thanks to Kristina P., I now know how I was missing out on the Snuggie. I looked it up and the numbers in the toll-free phone number you call to order one also add up to 3. I think that means that the Snuggie is 3 times more awesome than a regular blanket. Or that I should have three of them. Or that they cost three times more than they should. I'm actually not sure what that three means.

Numerology even works for your pinkie toe. Like if I add up all my fingers and toes, that equals two (20 = 2 + 0 = 2), and the mani/pedi place is only two blocks from my house. Score!

I kinda think the Zodiac thing is a crock (because I am soooo not a Capricorn. Maybe a Taurus, but a Capricorn?). But this numerology thing? Total believer.


Alison Wonderland said...

This post made me laugh, and laugh adds up to... well, that's way too much work, but I think I'll go have some candy.

Debbie said...

You have opened my eyes again! I will now look at everything in a new way. (What is the number for cheesecake?)

LisAway said...

Wow! Thanks for opening my eyes! I really used to be very skeptical of all that kind of stuff. NOT ANYMORE. You are very convincing. And funny. Both of those things. And that's two things and that equals two (I'm not smart enough to do the letter/number thing etc.) which means, obviously, that you are twice as awesome as most other people.

LisAway said...

And now I'll comment on the previous comments. Alison's comment made me laugh out loud and I think I must have liked Debbie's too, since I copied the first part of it. Oops.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

You are a genius. I always thought numerology was for freaks, but now that you've made that donut connection, I'm totally swayed.

Chris said...

Wow! I need to find a number that tells me to eat all the Tim Tams in a bag!


Annette Lyon said...

You're on to something here.

Heather of the EO said...

I wish I was this creative, I really do. You are too funny lady! REALLY TWO FUNNY. STOP. STOP IT.

No wait. Don't stop. I LOVE coming here to see what your brain has been doing.

Kristina P. said...

The Snuggie IS 3 times as awesome as a regular blanket. If by awesome, you mean lame.

I'm actually using it as a regular blanket. I'm thinking about sewing some velcro on the back.

Becky said...

Hey, are you mocking Capricorns!?

Okay, I'm totally with you on the numerology thing, but I'm a little slow with today's date adding up to 2. Well, unless you wrote this yesterday and just posted today. Yep, it's all comin' together...

CaJoh said...

Call me crazy, but I used to count around the calendar between my birthday and a birthday of girls I knew to see when we would be married. We all want our anniversary to be equidistant from each others right…

Jami said...

I like it. Let's see...17 is my favorite number. 1+7=8

Someone somewhere on the Internet said, "You are inspiring, result-oriented, powerful, ambitious, visionary, generous, perseverant, forgiving, broad-minded, money-conscious and self-disciplined.

You have the potential for enormous success and the possibility to accumulate great wealth. You are also a good judge of character a natural leader and a survivor."

Oh yeah!
(And I am so not a Virgo.)

Julie Wright said...

I love the number for candy. I'm not a numbers person, but if I can get good stuff (like more gifts and candy) I might just sign on!

myimaginaryblog said...

I'm too lazy to do the math, but the candy and donuts I can totally go for.

My brother read some thing where if you make a statement about character and ask people to read it, something like 95% of people will think they recognize themselves in it. (I made up that percentage, but the point was that we instinctively apply what we read to ourselves -- especially if it's flattering.)

Nancy said...

I think my grandfather joined some numerology sect and gave away a lot of family treasures to support the cause...but hey, he brought his family from Sweden and to Canada and that's how I ended up here. Numero Uno!!

Kimberly said...

I laughed...even though math hurts my brain in exquisitely painful ways.

Mina said...

This is the most profound thing I've read all day. I mean, this could be life altering.

Okay, my birthday adds up to 3, and my full first name is also a 3. Three-stone rings are my favorite. Coincidence? I think NOT. I must need more--in all sorts of various stones.

My anniversary is a 1. 1 very expensive present is all I ever want. Again, this is clearly cosmically driven.

Scribbit said...

Learn something new every time I visit! :)

Nicole said...

You're hysterical!

charrette said...

Hahahahaha! You're hilarious! And so inventive.

Get this: You have 19 comments. 1+9=10. And it's after 10 on my computer. Amazing. Time to go to bed. But not without leaving a comment. Because that would be bad Karma.

Eowyn said...

That's so funny!

Hmm, my birthday adds up to 3.

The number of Lindt truffles that you can buy with a dollar.

It's a sign.