Burning question answered. If it still burns, you should probably get it checked.

Okay, I'm answering the questions you asked in yesterday's post. Kristina P. and Shaka want to know how Kristina P. gets so many followers. She has, at last count, 1,432,769 followers. I reached that figure by letting Baby G pound on the ten key pad until I had a number in the millions. So basically, it's pretty scientific.

I had to do some real soul searching to decide if I wanted to reveal the truth to you about how Kristina does it. You'll understand my hesitation in a moment. But my friend's husband is an FBI agent and he said he would provide me with federal protection...you know, in case I need it. But telling the truth is the right thing to do.


If you read Kristina's blog, you know she has developed an elaborate cover story. She tells everyone that she's a social worker and makes up elaborate stories about her Christian Bale-loving male co-worker. BUT. The truth is, she doesn't go to a "social work" office. She goes here:


See the girl in front, head down, terrified to meet Kristina's eye, scribbling madly? She's scribbling comments. Kristina P. runs a blog commenting sweatshop. That's how she's able to get to so many blogs and make people want to go drop off comments in her blog's comment box. These poor sweatshop people spend their entire day drafting, revising and then posting comments on other people's blogs.

She's a fierce taskmaster. If they don't meet their comment quotas, then she has a whole other sweatshop lined up to handle it:

They're making Snuggies. You watch, in her next profile picture, she'll be wearing a yellow one. Anyone not meeting their blog quota is forced to wear a Snuggie in public, enduring the pointing and jeering of people who assume they have joined some overzealous airport pamphleting religion.

Now you know. Please help me!

Other questions:

Luisa asked: If you could have a dinner party with 10 guests from any country and/or time in history, whom would you invite, and why?

Well...if I'm not making an effort to find the right mix of guests for their sakes (which I do in real life), and I'm just inviting people I want to talk to...um, my answers are totally unoriginal. I pick: Abraham Lincoln, Anne Shirley, Jesus Christ, my grandfather, George Washington, Mark Twain, Tina Fey, Barack Obama, J. Golden Kimball, and Ayn Rand. My choices are based mainy on the fact that I love a good conversation.

CaJoh said: You sound so active, so I am curious as to what constitutes an average day for you. It doesn't even have to be an actual day, it could even be a combination of several days during the week to make it more entertaining.

Just understand that after every one of these activities, you should just automatically interject, "Then I wipe Grant's nose." And after about every third thing, you could also add, "Then I get a snack from the kitchen." So a normal day looks like this: Up at 7:30, Kenny and I get the kids ready for school, I share a bowl of oatmeal with Grant, I go drop off James, I go to the gym for a half hour of weights and my crazy kickboxing class, go to a play group for Grant, then I come home and feed Grant a snack, put him down for a nap, write between 1000-1200 words in my manuscript, catch up on blogs, make a pita pizza for lunch, get Grant up and feed him lunch, I catch up on more blogs, I run between 3-5 errands, I pick up James from school, run another errand or two, harrass James until his homework is done, clean the livingroom, cook dinner, watch Cash Cab and wait for Kenny to get home. He works from home two days a week and on those days you can add that I volunteer in James's classroom and spend hours more than I want to doing my grocery shopping.

Weekends, you can throw in go on dates with my husband (parties, movies, chorale performances, etc.), hit a writing conference every so often, and do family stuff like take bike rides to the park or along the beach. Then I wipe Grant's nose. And have a snack. But one has nothing to do with the other.

And I think I'll end with the next one for the day. I'll answer more tomorrow and some (like Josi's) will get their own whole post. I know, super exciting.

Annette wanted to know: What is something you used to wear that you now cringe at?
(Accompanying pictures welcome.)

Uh, my sky high bangs come to mind, and I have tie dye shirt I about wore to death. Luckily, most of my photos before 2007 are locked up in storage and not digitized, but this one is circulating freely on Facebook, courtesy of my friend Jean.

You guys, this picture is Annette's fault. She asked.