One day, I'm going to get really sick and it'll be something bizarre. I never get anything normal. I fully plan to survive whatever it is I get, but boy, am I going to be sad that House doesn't really exist.
P.S. I just noticed that Kimberly from Temporary Insanity nominated me for the Mormon Mommy Blog spotlight. Whoa! Um, just so I don't feel like an idiot, I wouldn't mind if a few of you went over and seconded it. Thanks, ladies. And gentlemen. I promise not to forget my roots when I live in blog fame.
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18 comments:
No kidding. That man could save my life. :)
Here's what'll happen. You'll get so sick that you'll be on your death bed (I feel very bad writing that, just so you know, even though I'm not remotely superstitious) and as your final wish you'll ask to be in an episode of House and then he will cure you and you'll be better than ever.
I always secretly hope when I go to the doctor that he will tell me I have a serious, rare disease and everyone will feel SO sorry for me--sorry enough to babysit my kids for days on end, and then I will get better and won't that be wonderful?
I just read a friend's blog the other day where she was so frustrated about getting no real diagnosis to her fatigue problem that she also was wishing for a House. I need to watch that show.
I don't ever want that day to arrive. I would much rather know what I have and learn to deal with it.
Just pray it doesn't take 8 years and a quarter of a million dollars to get your diagnosis. That really sucks, let me tell ya.
The problem with House is, he first thinks it's one thing, so he orders a bunch of really bizarre tests ("Stick bamboo shoots up her fingernails and see if her spleen learns Esperanto. Stat.") only to realize that THAT is the wrong thing to do. Of course by this time you've nearly suffocated, gone into cardiac arrest, developed an inexplicable rash all over your butt, lost your hair, and fallen in love with an orderly named Raul. Then they'll decide to biopsy your brain and saw off one leg. Fortunately, at the last second, House will realize that you just ate bad guacamole at your neighbor's Tupperware party, race down and pull the plug on the electric saw, induce vomiting in the entire surgical staff, say something pithy, and discharge you.
With a prescription for Pepto Bismol with codeine, of course.
Oh, you said it, DeNae. Last night's episode? Rat pee. Seems to me like that isn't leading to anything good. I hope my disease at least has some cool origin. You know, like I have a serious chocolate deficiency that I picked up while dieting and the reason I kept gaining weight instead of losing it is because my body actually NEEDS chocolate to regulate its metabolism.
Or else I at least want something that I'd have to contract by being somewhere exotic. No rat pee diseases.
Anytime I have a cold, I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Oh, yeah, Denae, and my husband says you missed two more misdiagnosis(es?) before he finds the cure.
I think DeNae pretty much nailed it, except for the part where your (lungs, chest, stomach) is filling with blood or fluid and they have to plunge a giant syringe into you right that second to relieve the pressure.
(And I've only been watching House for a few weeks now, on Hulu.)
I've already had Grave's Disease and now have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, and those are pretty common but plenty exotic for me. I'd love to go a year or two without having to consult a doctor or think about my health.
Oh and thanks for spoiling this week's episode about the rat pee. (I haven't gotten to watch last week's Lost yet, either, and someone just spoiled that one on Facebook.) Rat pee sounds a lot like that urban legend that used to go around in emails about how all grocery store warehouses have rats and all rats leave droppings on containers, and the rat dropping dust will kill you, ergo if you eat any groceries at all without first sterilizing their containers, you will die. (Snopes sorted that one out.)
I have had this exact same thought. Seriously.
My kids are the ones getting the odd ailments this year. For the record, I'm tired of it.
So, can Catholics vote on the Mormon blogging thing?
*Seconded the vote! Or thirded or fourthed. *grammatical murder!*
WHAT? House isn't real? My life is over. Although, with DeNae's explanation maybe I will just continue to sip broth and hope this stomach flu will go away in time.
I totally voted for you. Totally.
As someone whose life is filled with strange, bizarre, and incredibly rare and ill-timed medical conditions, let me tell you two things: first, the doctors never, ever look like they do on tv. (And its too bad, because that would make all the time in the waiting room much more entertaining!) And second, if you have a rare, undiagnosable condition, you usually end up spending weeks on end trotting to every specialist on the globe before finding a diagnosis. Hmmm, maybe a good reason to visit Princeton-Plainsboro after all.
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