Thursday, April 16, 2009

I kill me. Oh, and bugs. I kill bugs.

In another life, the one where I believe in reincarnation (which happens to take place in an alternate universe), I bet I was an exterminator, because I killed myself a nasty bug yesterday and I AM AWESOME (said with the Yo Gabba Gabba DJ Lance Rock reverb and you can't stop me, Crash!).

It was a bug of the viral variety but I drop kicked its trash. Because I AM AWESOME (see note above about reverb).

I feel so much better today. You know, because evil no longer has a grip on my upper GI tract.

Squish. That's the sound of that virus bug flattening under my determination not to be sick. Because I don't like being sick.

Anyway, I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day of wellness by watching my new favorite TV show (Better Off Ted) on DVR. Then I'm going to eat kettle corn (the low fat kind).

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that you're hanging out with a super awesome virus killer with a really good chocolate stash and Swedish fish too, in case you swing that way. Prepackaged for portion control, no less.

Oh, and I taught my toddler how to throw his own food in the garbage. You know all the stuff that he throws on the floor and I usually just stare at despairingly? Yeah, I made him pick it up and throw it all away. He's only seventeen months old. Do you think I can get him to keep it up until he gets married and becomes some other woman's project?

Kidding, kidding. I meant, do you think I can get him to keep it up until he moves away to go to college and becomes his roommates' headaches?

19 comments:

Alison Wonderland said...

Honestly? No, no I don't think you can.

Hey, you asked.

Mina said...

Glad you're feeling back to your awesome self! (There's no price for awesomeness. Or attractiveness.)

Good luck with the picking up thing. Hate to burst your awesomey bubble, but even if he keeps this new skill up for weeks, he's certain to loose it several times over before he flies the coop.

Shellie said...

I'm loving the better off ted too! and the swedish fish :) glad you are feeling better! you are a warrior

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Yo gabba gabba? Really? It accidentally came on late last night after my DV-Red American Idol turned off and I felt AFRAID. But not as afraid as I would be if I were a virus and saw you coming, kettle corn and all. Yikes. :)

Kristina P. said...

Kettle corn and DVRs make everything better.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I am totally anointing you with an award on my site...just saying! :)

Glad you are feeling better!

Kimberly said...

The bug you just killed may have been the one that totally kicked my trash this last week, so thanks for that. Revenge is sweet.

CaJoh said...

So glad you're feeling better. I don't know how my mom did it, but I have been trained to know that everything has its place and to put things back when you are done with them.

wendy said...

You ARE awesome!! Too bad I can't come just hang out with ya watching movies and eating junk. Only I like salt and vinegar potatoe chips -- do you have some of those.

Heather of the EO said...

Is it OK if I'm confused about the sidebar? My blog made you miss James on Thursday? I'm I just reeaaly slow? Don't answer that last one.

I like squashing viral bugs too. But not the crawly kind of bugs. It's creepy and then I feel bad. For a darn bug.

Luisa Perkins said...

Excellent! I am glad you are feeling better. It would be lame to be sick while at the conference.

Kazzy said...

Congrats on stomping the little critter! I love kettle corn too. Mmmmm

And way to go on getting the little one to dispose of his own trash! Huge accomplishment!

LexiconLuvr said...

drop kicked its trash... Ha ha ha! This whole post is just littered with nuggets of hilarity. =]
As for the swedish fish, I totally swing that way. Yummy little buggers.

Erin said...

So should I start recording Better off Ted? I haven't seen it yet.

And hey, while you're at it with your 17 month old, you may as well start teaching him now to put the toilet seat down. Even though he won't be potty trained for at least another year.

DeNae said...

When your 17 month-old sends home pix from his mission of the toxic waste dump they refer to as their "apartment", you'll have the answer to your question. And I'm glad you're feeling better. And I'm such a nerd I have no idea how that song goes, with or without the reverb. So I just piped in The Hallelujah Chorus at that part. I hope you don't mind.

Someone really needs to send me a life.

Melinda said...

Total could hear the Yo Gabba Gabba part in my head! Hahahaha AND I've been eating swedish fish all week, I feel so close to you!

Emily said...

You are awesome! I can hear Yo Gabba Gabba right now! And at first, I literally thought you meant a BUG like a nasty spider. But, virus bugs are just as bad!

Either way, you are awesome! (Please, say this like the orange dude on Yo Gabba Gabba!)

charrette said...

So glad you're feeling better. I love Kettle corn...and my kids hate it, so I don't even have to hide it! I have a stash of Swedish fish too. But alas, no portion control packaging.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh NO! Not the Yo Gabba Gabba voice! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

I LOVE me some swedish fish too! But low fat kettle corn? ewwww!

And congrats on kicking that virus booty!