Lucky 7

Being too good-looking isn't the worst problem to have, but it can be annoying. My best friend Sarah has been plagued by this year for years. She's been an unwilling status symbol in every ward or social circle she's occupied, badgered for dates by guys who just want to be seen out with her because she makes very nice arm candy. Worse, girls are often territorial and catty when she first arrives on a new scene, and it takes her a while to make friends. It's ironic, because Sarah is one of the least backstabbing, most loyal people you will ever meet. She's uninterested in game playing or turf battles with other women and wants their guys to leave her alone as much the girls do. It just takes the ladies a while to figure it out and then it's fine, but she always resents the time it takes them to reach that conclusion. (She's still single, so that's why it's an ongoing issue. And yeah, I know, this doesn't count as real problem on the scale of bad things that happen in life.)

I was her "wingman" for years in college. I don't know what the girl equivalent is for a wingman, so we'll just go with wingman. Anyway, I got to watch this weird phenomenon of being a 10 up close and personal. There are perks: I personally witnessed her get out of six different traffic tickets while I was a passenger in her car. We got in free everywhere. And she got lots of freebies. But there were the down sides, too: the mean girls (even though she eventually won them over), and the shallow guys who flocked to her just because she's pretty. That more than anything convinced me I was perfectly happy as a 7. This is the difference: I didn't get in free anywhere, but I always got in. And boys tended to be more drawn to me for my personality than my looks, which is a better foundation for building on. Girls could still be kind of mean until I got to know them (and vice versa), though.

For all of the good-looking guys who went after her, Sarah rarely dated any of them. She went for less obvious choices. She loved dating outside of her culture, or dating guys with plain or even odd looks, but tons of personality. The "hot" guys never got it, that "hot" is a relative term whose definition is strictly in the eyes of the beholder. In Sarah's eyes, "hot" means funny and smart and not intimidated by her. Oh, and someone who follows professional sports. I think she watches everything but hockey. Eh, she probably watches that, too.

Anyway, being her best friend for over fifteen years taught me early on that I like being above average and well below spectacular. I'm not going to lie and say that I don't care about being attractive. I do. It's helpful in getting what I need because we live in a beauty driven culture. It's stupid, but it's true, so whatever. I'll use it to my advantage.

We all know that physical attractiveness, especially when we're using Botoxed and surgically altered media hogs as the standard for a "10", has very little to do with real attractiveness. Are you kind? Funny? Thoughtful? Smart? Creative? Then I'll be your friend. If your beauty is only skin deep, forget it. I don't have the patience for people who haven't grown roots under those glossy good looks, you know? I mean, good looks are just good luck. The right genes from my parents mashed up. So what? Am I supposed to take credit for that? Should anyone? I'm far more interested in the way people develop the parts of their character that are totally within their control.

I know there's nothing profound in this. It's just a thought sparked by Janette's Rallison's reflections. And I don't mean to sound vain. I don't think I am. Being a 7 (maybe an 8 if I drop ten pounds and do my make up) is nice , but it's just lucky. It's not like it's something I earned. But the blessing of good friends who find in me something beyond a passably pretty face? I don't even have a number for that.

Did you notice my new subtitle? The votes came in and Luisa's suggestion handily won. I like it! I'll be emailing you today to see which prize you want to claim. Yay, Luisa!