Monday, August 24, 2009

Rolling in the dough

I figured out how to get a bestseller. See if you can find the secret:


Nope, it's not the secret life of bees. The secret is to put that little design thing around the title and it'll fly off the shelves. I noticed this past spring that there were about three hundred books on the Borders tables with some version of this design.
So I'm going to use it and put a book out. And I'm going to make the title something obscure like, "Why Cats Smile." I don't like cats but lots of people do so I'm going to leverage that. And then I'm going to put strange stuff on the inside like a random picture on every page with a vague caption. Like this:

Please pass the soap.



60 Watt Bulbs Are Better.

Amish Children Are Playing.
I'm going to be so RICH! I'll never flinch at the price of organic milk again. (Yeah. That rich.)

22 comments:

Emily said...

Ha Ha! Nice!

Debbie said...

You are so right! I never noticed that little design but obviously that is the secret.

Kazzy said...

Sounds like a safe little experiment. Maybe you can use the shape of a piggy bank.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I just hope that you still write your blog when you're so famous and drinking organic milk.

Amber Lynae said...

:) You are going to rich in minutes because of your brilliant discovery. The marketing teams in the publishing world will be devastated that you discovered their secret weapon.

Don said...

Woah! Now, that IS rich.

DeNae said...

You're baaaaaack...

Kristina P. said...

Amish Children Are Playing does sound rather interesting.

Are they playing with iPods?

Becca said...

You are too good. You've discovered The Secret! Don't tell Oprah, or everyone will be trying it.

Fiauna said...

Ooh, I can't wait to come to your book signing! With a book like that, I'm sure the line will be out of the store and around the block just to get a glimpse of the book.

Jessica G. said...

Better decide on you Good Morning America debut outfit!

Eowyn said...

lolol!!! Who knew it was so easy! I'm so following your example!

L.T. Elliot said...

This is hilarious! And sadly, so true!

CaJoh said...

You know I would buy any book you put out no matter what the cover may look like. So glad you figured out how to put out a best seller and be able to buy that organic milk you so desperately crave.

charrette said...

Finally someone validates my industry! Yep. Design sells.

Those two books? Also happen to be _good_.

I think I'd be loathe to buy anything with the word Cats in the title. So I'm probably not your target market for this experiment.

But I ADORE you! (Every time DeNae mentioned your lovely name on Saturday I had to keep saying, I LOVE her!)

Aubrey said...

Too bad you usually have ZIP input on your own cover. :(

Still, maybe if you share your secret with your publisher, they might take you more seriously...

April said...

I think you are stretching it.....do Amish children play? really? Oh wait, that's FLDS kids...it's a sin to play. Never mind.

Heather of the EO said...

So true!!! I actually HAVE noticed this.

Have I told you lately that I love you?

just checking...

Stephanie Faris said...

Hilarious! Hey, that clock picture would get me to pick up a book. Put THAT on the cover.

Erin said...

I don't like cats either. But if you put that design thingy around the title I'm sure I will purchase it.

Heather said...

Just stumbled upon this blog as I was organizing my bookmarks and forgot how hilarious you are! I mean that as a compliment even though it totally doesn't sound like one. Nice work...has the cover for your book been decided yet because you have some great ideas;)

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

I can't wait to buy your book so I can contemplate the hidden meanings of the nonsence, random photos and saying and say to my friends--with a smug look on my face--this book is deep. Then watch as they try to understand deep too.