Friday, August 21, 2009

Dear Self: Snap out of it.

I don't know what kind of day I'm having. I'm sifting the clues, searching for evidence.

Here's what I have so far:

1. I put on my workout clothes but there is absolutely no chance I'm going to the gym. I don't have the faintest whiff of an inkling of a desire to be there.

2. I had good granola for breakfast but feel icky.

3. I turned the TV on for Baby G first thing this morning and feel guilty about that but not guilty enough to turn it off.

4. I have the blahs. I don't want to think too hard about why because I'm not in the mood to soul search. Then again, I almost never am. Not good.

5. My bedroom is a disaster and has been for a week and I still can't make myself clean it even though I know I would feel better.

6. I don't like what I posted yesterday. I think my internal editor took that chapter out in the first place not because it interrupted the narrative (which it did) but because it's measurably weaker than the rest of the novel. Reading it makes me feel discouraged.

7. Writing this list of clues makes me want to take myself outside and beat myself up.

8. Maybe I will do something nice for myself and clean my bedroom after all.

9. That Baby G has been loving on me lots. That's a little bit of sunshine.

10. I guess I know what kind of day I'm going to have: the kind I choose to have.

I'm going to flip on some What Not to Wear and rediscover the carpeting in my bedroom. I bet it's under all that stuff. In fact, all that stuff has probably kept the carpet nice and clean so when I do rediscover it, I won't even have to vacuum it.

Peace out, homies. I'm taking this show on the road.

Well, upstairs anyway.

22 comments:

Stephanie Faris said...

Love this list! It shows your flaws and vulnerabilities. I can relate in every way!

Kristina P. said...

I agree that you can usually control the kind of day you will have, to a point. I hope it gets better!

wonder woman said...

Oh. MYgosh. Ditto, ditto, and ditto. Except about regreting yesterday's post. Mine was actually a rare post that I'm proud of.

And the part about getting off your behind to clean your bedroom. yeah.....pretty sure that's not going to happen. I need to get out of the house today.

Kimberly said...

Number 10 is such an important, if humbling realization isn't it? Way to go! I was just starting to slump into the doldrums myself (despite a good morning) but I'm going to put on some dance music and clean out the office closet instead. Thanks!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I sent you something in a mail. There, didn't that fix everything? I thought it might.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

That would be THE mail, not some nebulous A Mail. Geesh.

Becca said...

sometimes you have those perfectly craptastic days just to realize that even doing a little something is better than sitting home all day eating caramel popcorn.

(Oh, was I projecting, Doctor? Sorry.)

Heather of the EO said...

Oh I totally get it. Totally.

I love how you think.

Migillicutty said...

Yay, good for you! I would probably lay around for several hours before it even occurred to me to do something. ;)

charrette said...

This is pure revelation:
"I guess I know what kind of day I'm going to have: the kind I choose to have. "

You figured it out.
I'm sorry the blahs hit you. If I didn't live 1000 miles away I'd come help you clean your room. We'd have a blast!

But I hope the carpet makes your day once you find it at last.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

you are so like me! I can totally relate.

Eowyn said...

That's the best thing about all that stuff. It is not necessary to vacuum under it all.

You are fabulous.

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

I hope the carpet got found. Look at it this way. A few more weeks/months/years and the carpet in there will look much newer (is that a word?) than the rest of the house.

Kazzy said...

The blahs happen. That clouded over feeling that is so hard to shake some days. Sorry you felt it recently.

And I hope you don't feel too bad about posting your writing. It was fun to read.

And lastly, What Not To Wear can always snap me out of it. I love Stacy and Clinton!

Elizabeth Byler Younts said...

the list speaks volumes to me...

Emma said...

Funny, some days are like that. What we want to do, what we should do and what needs to be done!!

Emily said...

Oh, I've have had those days.

DeNae said...

You've gotten plenty of love here. I would say the blahs are on account of your current hormonal condition, but you'd probably send me a gigantic psychic "DUH!!"

Terresa said...

I'm with you on #2, #3 & #7. all the way. And I thought granola was supposed to be "healthy" and help us feel good? (mine is even home made)

Carolyn V. said...

I hate days like that. It always takes me a while to get back into the grove of things.

L.T. Elliot said...

Love the list, too. I need to clean today too. *Sigh* Fine. I'll go do it.

Luisa Perkins said...

Well, bummer. I'm wading through the hundreds of posts in my reader and really wanted to read that chapter. I hope you saved it; it sounded like it could be the germ of another novel at some point!