Friday, October 23, 2009

Busting up the boys' club

I'm having a baby girl. I may not have processed that per se, but I have accepted it.

This is why:

Yesterday my very tired ten-year-old son, J-Boy, was having a post-flu meltdown because I forced him to go out and play, thereby cutting into his TV viewing free time. (I know, I'm so mean.) Anyway, his tantrum was so similar to my toddler's fits that I sent him up to his room for a time out.

After I figured he had calmed down, I went up to talk to him. We had a very reasonable discussion about balancing outside time with inside time and how to handle frustration appropriately. I told him to come down when he was ready to finish his homework.

Two minutes later he hollered, "Mom! You have GOT TO COME UP HERE and see this!"

Now, this could mean a few things. It could mean there was a giant black widow on the loose in his bathroom. It could mean he had just made something cool with his Legos. It could mean he found a penny with an interesting year on it.

But.

I am pregnant. I avoid stairs in favor of saving my breath. So I hollered back, "Is it an emergency?"

A pause. "No! I guess I could bring it down there!"

Which was nice because it meant it definitely wasn't a spider. He hates spiders.

He came down a moment later bearing a large silver mixing bowl. "Check this out!"

And I knew what was in there, and I soooooo did not want to look, but I realized that he was figuratively extending an olive branch and telling me we were cool again.

"What is it?" I asked. Knowing. Wishing I didn't.

"It's my spit bowl! Look what happened to all my phlegm!"

And so I took a peek at the bowl he uses in his bed every night because he refuses to swallow his phlegm when he coughs EVEN THOUGH I'VE HAD THE PEDIATRICIAN EXPLAIN THAT IT'S OKAY TWICE. And folks, his particular strain of flu causes fermented phlegm to turn bright green if left to mix with the air without human interference.

But I smiled and said, "Cool" which meant, "Apology accepted."

A girl would never, ever do that to me.

Right?

25 comments:

Lara said...

Never.

Unless she is like my Sophia. But then, we call her the boy we never had.

MommyJ said...

I definitely think you're safe from spit bowls when it comes to little girls!

evitafjord said...

Sure, right, totally. Especially since she'll have older brothers. She definitely won't learn any gross stuff from them.

Stephanie Faris said...

Ewwwwwwwww! I'm pretty sure mommyhood isn't in the stars for me but if it were, I think I'd need a girl. I'm too squeamish! But my boyfriend's daughter does her share of gross things. Like the time I found her underwear on the floor, covered in number 2. WHY? She's NINE! I asked him about it later and he said it happens all the time. She just leaves them on the floor this way. I said, "Don't you think you need to have a talk with her about that?" He said he has...but she doesn't listen.

I have an award for you on my blog today:

http://stephie5741.blogspot.com/2009/10/and-award-goes-toyou.html

charrette said...

That is SUCH a boy thing!

You will LOVE your little girl.
And you will ADORE the puddle of melted goo your husband becomes because of her.

Everyone should have at least one girl just for that!

Becca said...

Oh, boy. That seriously rocks. My girls have been known to leave me, um, certain bodily excretions (as though I want to SEE that), but they rarely celebrate it quite so loudly.

And, amen to Charette. Daddies are the most precious puddles ever.

Annette Lyon said...

She wouldn't. But she might whine and moan like a soap opera and insist you climb the stairs and cuddle her or she'll die.

wonder woman said...

See, girls won't be so bad.

Good to know about the bright green thing. Superman was wondering why his spit looked like he'd been eating skittles.

Don said...

Bwahahahahaha.

When my wife found out our first was a girl, she was a bit disappointed. But then she realized that girls don't go out and play in the mud and show you all of the cool bugs they found.

Except that's EXACTLY what our sweet little girl did. Y chromosomes may encourage certain behaviors, but two X's won't necessarily prevent them.

Kazzy said...

LOL I certainly hope not. Ew.

Heather said...

Totally not safe...girls do that too especially when they have a whole bunch of older brothers;)

Kristina P. said...

What about grown up girls? I've been having a lot of phlegm lately, and it's disgusting.

Eowyn said...

I can't imagine it happening from my girl. She runs from the sight of blood or vomit or spit or anything.

That's kind of gross, but totally expected. But then, boys are sometimes that way. . .

Kimberly said...

Umm...no guarantees, I'm afraid. But the odds are at least better...

Melinda said...

Girls are plenty gross, but more than that they are drama, and screaming and crying and emotions. Oh its so fun! (Sorry, I'm totally not helping am I?)

Colipoki said...

You are so wrong. My Emma is seriously the most beautiful little girl to grace God's earth. And I mean that in every possible way-inside and out. But I feel sorry for her husband because that girl can clear a room unlike any guy I've ever meant. That's how bad her gas is.
-Susan

L.T. Elliot said...

I'm with Annette on this one. What you'll lack in spiders and spit, you'll gain in drama and feelings. =P

Valerie said...

My daughter has picked up a few, uh, habits from her older brother and she giggles every time, but she also says, " 'cuse me," every time. Nice mix, I guess.

That Girl said...

Pretty sure ... no.

And this story didn't phase me in the slightest. I guess it's obvious that I have three boys.

Chris said...

Never... unless she has a big brother that she looks up to and copies whenever possible... ;)

You will love having a daughter!

wendy said...

Ooooo ICK, Gross, gag, Mommy brother is showing me phlegm again, tell him to go away---------as she goes shreiking into her room and slams the door.
That's what girls do.
Enjoy

Debbie said...

Well....
I really don't want to upset a pregnant woman.

myimaginaryblog said...

Ummmm . . .

My 2nd child, first daughter for a long time took great delight in grossing out her older brother.

My 3rd child, 2nd daughter is all about poo and fart jokes.

But the 2nd child, first daughter also always throws up neatly into the sink; we've never had to clean up her sheets. If that makes you feel better. I think I should not be saying any of this to a pregnant woman.

Let me say this: Girls are soooo much fun. (Is that better?)

Jennifer Shirk said...

LOL! NO, a girl would never have a spit bowl.
But my daughter did have a worm cup in her bedroom. It smelled worse than old phlegm, I'm sure. :)

Angie Muresan said...

Not unless you have a tendency to keep a spit bowl. All the little girls I know are miniature versions of their mothers. It'll be fun! Girls are awesome!