Monday, October 12, 2009

This post brought you by a giant box of tissue.

There are certain things and places that are dangerous for pregnant women. I stay away from unpasteurized cheese and red wine, for example. Normally, all I do all day long is eat feta cheese and wash it down with a nice merlot.

Which is, of course, a big fat lie. The point is, there are obvious things to avoid. (Actually, that's not even true either because I didn't know until Baby G was almost due about the soft cheese thing. Oops.)

There are also obvious places to avoid. I sent my brother with my older son to Six Flags for his birthday because as much as I love roller coasters, it's kind of a no-brainer not to ride when your preggers, right?

Add to the list of dangerous places for pregnant women: Interfaith celebrations.

You read that right.

My husband was asked to particpate in our city's interfaith choir for our centennial. Today we walked the four blocks to the beach (because yes, my life is so hard) and found a nice patch of grass where we could sit and listen. I was fine with the boring dignarities who kicked things off.

But then the Boy Scouts presented the colors and when everyone stood to say the Pledge of Allegiance, I cried.

Not a dainty little welling of tears, either. I went straight for the big, ugly snorfling-can't-speak-sobs. Ridiculous.

Then I calmed down.

Then one speaker said the U.S. means "us".

And I cried.

Then the Adventist Apostolic Choir with their congo drums and timbales and whatnot sang and I rocked along enjoying myself. And then they did a verse in Spanish.

And I cried.

Then they introduced the oldest living former elected council member, him in his wheelchair with his WWII Navy pilot hat on, good old Noble Waite who gives me candy during Sunday School if he likes my answers.

And I cried.

Then some kids spoke.

I cried.

I looked out and saw the pretty ocean just a few yards away.

I cried.

Some booty-kickin' gospel singer belted out "This Little Light of Mine."

I didn't cry. I bopped.

But you get the idea.

My point is, if you're pregnant, the world is an emotional minefield. Just sayin'.

Although possibly it's just me. I think commercials with women bonding over their Lean Cuisine frozen lunch choices are kind of beautiful right now.

Congratulations to Eowyn who won the giveaway of any item of her choice from Kenny's website. Yay!


Tamara Hart Heiner said...

that's too funny and so very real at the same time! I remember those days!

Lara said...

I hear you. I wonder why God made it that way? My husband doesn't know what to do with me when I'm pregnant and crying at Wendy's commercials. I don't know what to do with me, for that matter.

But crying at interfaith celebrations is totally normal. Even for non pregnant people. Really.

Eowyn said...

I'm that way pregnant. One big 9-month walking bucket of tears.

There are times when I am that way when I'm not pregnant. Then people look at me strange. . .

I am bouncing in my chair I'm so excited that I won!!!! Thanks Melanie!!! And thanks Kenny!!!

Kristina P. said...

I totally cried during Jim and Pam's wedding. And I don't cry during weddings. Ever. Is this a sign?

Becky said...

I love babies (at least my own), but being pregnant is not at all fun for me. But I'll be honest, I think I'd rather be the one pregnant than have to put up with a pregnant lady in my home for nine months. Lucky for me, that's how it worked out. :)

Annette Lyon said...

You pretty much described it perfectly. My 10-yr-old has recently said how annoyed she gets at commercials that are all emotional and then end up trying to sell you something dumb like toilet paper. I agree, but silently think, "Some day when you're pregnant, you'll cry at those commercials."

Carolyn V. said...

So true! I cried over every beautiful thing when I was pregnant. Sometimes, I still do, but I blame it on allergies. =)hee hee

InkMom said...

I'm crying because I'm the last woman standing, and I'm afraid I'll be gestating this baby for the next 5 years. There have been 12 babies born in our ward so far this year. (I think it might be a record -- seriously!) And I would never wish for a tiny preemie baby, or itty-bitty twins, but my friend who was due three weeks after me currently has a 3 week old in the NICU (he's doing fine, and coming home very soon). My other friend who was due a week after me had her twins two days ago -- they are also just fine and healty. And here I am crying because my pregnancy is HEALTHY and NORMAL? How twisted is that?!? 3 more weeks. Just three more weeks.

Josi said...

Remember the scene in Bedazzled where he's 'sensitive' "Why won't the sun set already!" :-) lucky for you, tenderness is cute in pregnant women

Becca said...

I don't actually have to be pregnant to burst into what I like to call "inspiration tears" - but it almost never happens at church. I'm a little heard-hearted that way, I guess.

wonder woman said...

Yesterday I was a pinch-hitter for the primary chorister and ended up explaing the third verse of "How Firm a Foundation" to the kids. It was a real struggle to keep my emotions in check.

"Are you ever afraid? Did you know that God is there with you? He's saying that he will help you! When it talks about 'omnipotent hand,' that means God is SOOO powerful, and can always help you!"

Seriously. I nearly lost it.

MommyJ said...

Oh, so been there with the excessive tears. It's awesome when my husband asks why I'm crying and I absolutely can't give a coherent answer, except that everything just seems so sweet, or the book I'm reading is just so sad, and I just don't know how to handle it, or... you get the idea.

nano*ink said...

I loved Kenny's stuff. He is very talented, I agree...
Someday, not for hundreds of years, you can do a post on getting older and crying and stuff.

I need to use the word "stuff" one more time.

April said...

It's been so long I can't baby is 18 and I haven't had "that time of the month" for 13 years. Gotta say it's nice. Sorry!

L.T. Elliot said...

Pregnancy did that to me too. It also increased my spidey senses to ridiculous levels. Walking through the food court at the mall was just an exercise in how many times a woman can barf in a normal 5 minute walk.

DeNae said...

It's the circle of life. I bawled all through my pregnancies. And then they became teenagers and the yowling REALLY began.

And now two are young adults who are both trying to see how many universities they can attend before someone either hands them a diploma or a mop and bucket. And I'm thinking, isn't it about time someone ELSE did the bawling for a while?

So they're both getting smacked for Christmas.

Shellie said...

you're so cute :)

Kimberly said...

Err...the soft cheese thing? Major "oops" on my part. Dang it. I only had it three times, my baby isn't going to be deformed or anything, is she?

So glad Eowyn won! Yay! Though I will mock her use of multiple exclamation marks. Tsk.

I have a headache from crying over an episode of Extreme Makeover Home Edition this afternoon. I have got to stop watching that.

CountessLaurie said...

Huh. My youngest is almost 4 and I am still that way. When will it stop?

Jami said...

I'm a weeper all the time, but boy howdy, pregnancy hormones can make a weeper out of a Navy Seal. Or Chuck Norris. Or um some female toughy Amazon-type woman. (I sense that this comment has gone awry in some fundamental way, but I don't have time to fix it.)

LisAway said...

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Amy said...

To all my sisters adoring fans (you must not have met her in person yet). I, the younger sister (can you not tell by my opening line?), rivaled only by my brother in how fast we can get under Big Sis's skin, need to clarify the reason for my sister's waterworks...It is because she misses me.

In a family where inward feelings of affection abound but outward displays are scarce, we are not used to offering hugs or spoken "I love you's" to each other. So it's understandable that she was trying to couch her true reason for crying within the framework of a patriotic spiritual event. (Ask her about Papa's funeral. Go ahead. Ask.)

But don't worry, I will return after Christmas and then you'll read another post about how pregnant hormones caused her undue elation at witnessing an ant triumph in carrying an oversized breadcrumb across the sidewalk crack. But you and I will both know that she's really writing about how happy she is that I have, once again, landed within the borders of the land of the free.

P.S. I have THE cutest nephews and can't wait to meet my "niece," I'm not a gambling woman, but I've decided to put money down, that my next Jacobson relative will be a niece.

That Girl said...

Well, we're on the same wavelength.

The other day I bawled my way through Miley Cyrus' "It's the Climb."


Heather of the EO said...

Firstly, I'm happy for Eowyn, FOR SURE.

Secondly, I cry over these things and I'm not even pregnant. Does this make me nuts? :)

and on your latest post? I'm terrible with titles and the naming of things. I'm sure you'll choose just the right one though! (yeah, I know. So helpful)

charrette said...

I'm so happy Eowyn won that I can hardly stand it! That girl needs a little lift like that right now!

I have kleenex boxes everywhere...the car, the purse, and every room in the house...and I'm not even pregnant!