Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Hide and don't seek

I'm nice. Mostly. I don't like to make people feel bad. I don't exclude people from conversations or ignore them when they talk to me.

Unless it's Facebook. Then I do.

I have 370-ish friends. This number has been built up over a couple of years and 97% of them are people I know. The other 3% are people I don't know but who sent a friend request and I didn't want to hurt their feelings by declining since we have at least a dozen friends in common and I may one day cross their path.

I have never taken the drastic step of unfriending anyone, but I have a long and growing list of people I've hidden. Not like buried-their-bodies hide. I mean when you press that little "Hide" icon by their news feed or status update when it pops up in your feed and annoys you for the twentieth time.

I don't hide someone because they bug me once or twice. I hide repeat offenders who drive me to a point where when I see their name come up, I twitch before I even know why they're in my feed. The twitch is accompanied by a vague sense of irritation and an urge to go postal. At least, it was until I figured out how to hide them with a mouse click.

Here's the breakdown:

Three people are banned because EVERY SINGLE POST is some kind of self-promotion. In one case someone is selling an energy drink and in the other cases it's the person's blog with an endless stream of giveaways and "Buy my whatevers!" I don't mind a personal plug on an occasional basis, but seriously...three times a day? I feel so USED.

Three more are banned because I have no idea who they are and can't find it within myself to care about the minutiae of their days. YES, I'm a bad person.

One is banned because EVERY post is a freaking complaint. Usually of the hypochondriac nature. I've known this girl since childhood and I KNOW she's a whiner. I don't need reminders multiple times a day on Facebook.

Three more are banned for posting nothing but political rants. Granted, it's on the conservative side and largely rooted in ignorance, which especially chaps my hide. But it's so contentious and inflammatory I'd block it if it were liberal, too. I don't happen to know that many liberals, so that's just a guess. But seriously, I'm so sick of the anti-Obama tirades, and the health care reform hissy fits, and on and on and on. Again, I'm all for people occasionally voicing their political opinions but I don't listen to talk radio and I'm not listening to YOU, status update political screaming heads. (P.S. I don't mind well-informed political updates on a regular basis whether I agree or not; it's the rants I can't take.)

One person i#s banned because every #update is also Tweeted and #the constant hashtags give me a headache #and I hate them. 

One person is banned because his spelling and grammar are so horrible I found that my inner English teacher wouldn't stay leashed (remember, I was in the classroom for five years) and became angry and I fought the urge to deface my laptop screen with red Sharpie wielded in an effort to combat his flagrant abuse of the English language. And let's ignore my comma errors and run-ons, shall we?

And that's about it. Eleven people. I don't think that's so bad. I'm sure people have hidden me in their news feeds, too but I can only invent the reasons why. If forced to guess, I suppose it would be because my days aren't nearly as entertaining to other people as they are to me. Maybe some people don't want to hear, "The baby pooped and it was green!" even if it made me laugh. Or maybe some folks don't want to know that "James finally cleaned his room. It turns out it IS carpeted. Who knew?" I mean, I think it's obvious that I'm only reporting the absolute best highlights but I concede not everyone may see it that way.

Anyway, I'm glad for the "Hide" feature or Facebook would be unbearable. Instead, it and blogging represent just about the only adult interaction I get until 5:30 or so. Now, if only there were a similar feature I could activate on my kids...

30 comments:

Alyson (New England Living) said...

I've only hidden the farmville updates (how freaking annoying those are!). I didn't realize you could hide a whole person's updates. Thanks for the head's up!

I hate all the ignorant health care and anti-Obama updates too. Gag!

Amber Lynae said...

Melanie you and your wisdom brighten my days. I can stand to hide some of my facebook friends.

MommyJ said...

I just recently discovered the "hide" feature, and oh, it really is wonderful. Farmville makes me crazy too. The little lost cows, and what not... oh, and the endless quizzes that people take to know what kind of wedding dress they will wear, or what there last name will be or what kind of car they would be or who there celebrity boyfriend would be. Every time I see one, and especially when I see the results of several posted all in a row, I think less of whoever it is that is spending SO much time on facebook that they have to take care of imaginary farms and take quizzes with absolutely no value or legitimacy. I really hope I didn't just insult someone with that...

Motherboard said...

Sadly, I'm one of the blog self promoters. I shall repent NOW!


I have hidden all the farmville, mafia wars, farkle, take this stupid quiz-ones... I HATE that stuff. I just want to see what people have to say. AND, I don't want a blow by blow of your day.

#saysomethingwitty. #please.

InkMom said...

I can almost tell how new someone is to Facebook by which little applications they've started using.

I am more guilty of ignoring friend requests than I am of hiding people. There's a man at church who has always given me the creeps and he keeps friending me . . . and I keep ignoring. I mean, our interaction at church every Sunday is MORE than enough for me, and I just can't see why I need to have him as a friend on Facebook. I don't want him reading my blog! I don't want him to know all that stuff about my family! And honestly, I don't care to know it about him either.

Happy Mom said...

I had NO IDEA that you could hide anything on Facebook! That's fabulous!!! I don't get on facebook daily, just once or twice a week, but the farmville/quiz stuff/gifts seem completely irrelevant to me. I simply refuse to respond to all of the requests to add applications, relatives findy things, doo-hickey's galore. All of that stuff is simply annoying in my book!

wonder woman said...

I hid a lot of applications before the newest updates to facebook. Couldn't stand all the farms and vampires and whatnot. It's like people don't realize there's a DO NOT PUBLISH button. Being able to just see people's status updates is nice.

I don't mind a little self-promotion from blog friends. Sometimes that's the first place I see their update. And I have my blog and FB linked because my family wants to read my blog but can't figure out how.

p.s. When is blog going to become an actual word? I'm sick of the red squigglies?!

Kristina P. said...

I hid someone who puts their tweets on there. Every two seconds is an update! This is why I will never Twitter.

I do actually need to Unfriend someone. I didn't realize she was on my friend list. She was someone whose blog I read, and she was getting crazy political. She then sent out this mass email which included me, that was super offensive. And I don't offend easily. Done! Banned!!

Becca said...

Is it bad when the most annoying/offensive FB posters are related to me? Ack. Love the "hide". You know, for the six times a year I actually kick my kids out of their FB accounts to look at mine.

Lara said...

I usually just hide applications like Farmville and Mafia wars because they drive my bananas.

I have only hidden two actual people, and that was for their political rants. One was liberal and the other was conservative. The liberal one has an anger problem and likes to insult every conservative belief and offend all of his friends in one fell swoop. The conservative was whiny and uninformed. They both updated 105 times per day.

I don't mind blog updates, but the giveaways bug me, too.

I would just remove the people you don't know. They won't know you did it unless they keep a spreadsheet of all of their friends and keep track of their friend number or unless they totally stalk your page. I have a few like that that I thought I should know (mostly high school people) but really I don't. So I removed.

stewbert said...

My list of who I've hidden looks oddly identical to yours. atrocious grammar, self promos, tweeters, and politicos ... yep. They get hidden when they drive me batty.

But I have unfriended a few people. Like an ex-boyfriend from high school. I don't know why I ever accepted his request, but I unfriended him and then blocked him within a week.

Sue said...

I've hidden one person. She just posted constantly - CONSTANTLY. Like, 20 times a day. It was way too much. No way do I need to know that much about you, you know? And the automatic twitter updates drive me batty too.

I don't mind when people post about their blog posts. I am guilty of that too - mostly because that lets my family and real life friends know that I've posted something.

I didn't know you could hide the Farmville updates. (Off to do that right now - those things drive me nuts.)

Susan said...

If you're evil, then I'm the Devil's spawn because I've hidden relatives. I can't stand to read about how much my cousin loves her boyfriend fifty times a day. So she had to go. I can't stand people who can't spell either. I have one guy friend who I've only been FB friends with for a month or so but he's such a snot, I got on his case and I think he hid me! Oh well.

Annette Lyon said...

I've unfriended one or two people, but for good reasons. I've hidden several feeds for the very reasons you mentioned. (Twitch!)

I don't mind political discussions, but when people start throwing out stuff that's just uneducated and inflammatory (and a constant stream of it), I can't take it anymore, regardless of which side it's coming from. What cracks me up is people who say stuff is unconstitutional when whatever they're discussing has nothing whatsoever to do with the Constitution--and if they'd ever READ the document, they'd know it.

Terresa said...

THere are definitely pros & cons to FB. I don't do any of the cutesy Farmville or fishtank/animal/giftie things on there. They drive me nuts. I use it as
1) a networking tool as a writer

2)some social time w/peeps I love that I don't have time to visit/call/email personally

Yes, thank goodness for the "hide" feature!! I just wonder how many of my 533 friends "hide" me! :P

Karen said...

So far, I've only hidden one person and it's because she constantly rambles about these crazy parties she wants to go to. I would swear she was drunk, although I see her irl all the time and I know for a fact she isn't intoxicated 24/7.

DeNae said...

Are we FB friends? Because I don't think we are.

Do you know how special that makes you to me?

And I have a teensy-weensy problem with people sending FB messages that say "Buffy LaRou is a fan of Buffy LaRou! Click here to become a fan of Buffy LaRou, too!"

Sorry, Buff. You're banned.

Kimberly said...

I had to hide my brother-in-law who is an aspiring rap artist and posts his lyrics literally 2-3 dozen times per day. Here's hoping he doesn't post anything important or I might end up in his bad books. Then again, considering the language he uses I probably have a good defense...

Luuuurve that hide feature!

Christi said...

I wish I could block people on yahoo groups email. I am on a homeschool group with this one woman who is constantly sending questions that are completely off topic. Today it was does anyone know how to find the family of someone who is dead. Another time is was her selling raffle tickets from a group that several of us are in. We have been part of her entire birding experience, she asked where to find them, if anyone had a cage, anyone have any breeding boxes, when the birds had babies, and does anyone want some birds. In the past 20 emails only 1 or 2 has been on topic.

Normally I don't mind the occasional off topic thing, some of them can get interesting, but this woman is going to drive me crazy.

And yes, I can just delete but I would still have to take the time to delete them.

That Girl said...

I am the meanest B that ever crossed Facebook. If I do not talk to you on a semi-regular basis, you are not my friend. If I haven't talked to you in ten years for a reason, you are not my friend.

Oh, and if you send me updates about that stupid Jewel game every fifteen minutes, you are not my friend either.

Hel said...

I'm not as mean at That Girl ;) but I do have a ritual cull of all my FB friends every so often. If you happen to have annoyed me then you are unfriended. I didn't think to hide people, but I figure if I'm not interested then why bother being their friend.

Debbie said...

I only have about 25 friends and 2/3 of them are hidden! I am not a nice facebook person:)

L.T. Elliot said...

The political rants thing is killing me. I'm educated. I keep up to date. I respect the rights of others to make their own decisions. That's why I hate it so much when someone else crams it down my throat.

Emily said...

You are way nicer than I am! I've hidden more than half of my friends . . . so maybe their not really friends . . .

It is annoying to get status updates from people who are really just acquaintances and you only friended them because it would be rude if you didn't.

I've "unfriended" people too. I don't feel guilty about that one either.

Just to clear things up a bit (because now I'm sure you're wondering) you are NOT hidden. :) I think your updates about everyday life are quite witty and I wonder why I'm not clever like that. :)

Luisa Perkins said...

I've hidden WAY more than that. Maybe my friends are just more obnoxious than yours. :D

The Garden of Egan said...

Stumbled onto your blog and am sooo enjoying myself.
I'm sort of a facebook snob as well. I found the "hide" button and it's been so refreshing.
Some people seriously have facebook diahrrea.
Enjoyed looking over your posts and I love your style of writing and humor.
Have a great day.
Tauna

Kazzy said...

Yeah, I have people that friend me on FB that I am supposed to know from high school or some random place and I just decline. I have plenty of other things to feel bad about. Refusing to keep in touch with a faraway acquaintance is not going to be one of them.

I am behind ya 100%.

Shellie said...

lol @ Tuana "facebook diarrhea"

all of these comments were funny to read.

I have one friend I had to hide because not only were her FB status whiney but cryptic whiney.

Dedee said...

So I didn't put any of my high school information on. Nor did I put my maiden name on. I figure if you don't know what my married name is then we haven't kept in good enough touch for me to want to spend my life reading your updates. It's been 14 years already!

I didn't know you could only hide the farmville updates. I'm off to figure out how. I abhor those.

The Boob Nazi said...

I go through and delete people every once in a while when I get bored. And I deleted my ex-bf. Boy did he get pissed about that....