I want the box of 64 with the sharpener!

We've been picking paint. Lots and lots of paint.

One wall in James's room will be red. "Red Delicious" is too dark for him and "Candy Apple Red" is too bright, so I'm trying to find the one shade exactly in the middle that he'll like. That has resulted in splashing Quite Red and Ruby Ring on the walls.

For the bathroom, we want a spa feel so we have shades of brown ranging from Pumpernickel Bread to Mocha Latte.

Grant's room was easy, a nice bright shade called Marina Blue.

Eden's room gets tricky again. We're doing two shades of pink split by a chair rail. So far we've tried Lauren's Lullaby, Colonial Rose, Deep Dusty Rose, Temptress, Morning Blush, and Sweet Baby Girl among others. Many others.

And we're just touching up the front room and hallways, but who knew there were so many names you could call white?

My head hurts already and we haven't even bothered figuring out what we're going to paint the kitchen. Right now it's a violent red color courtesy of the previous owners and it totally clashes with the cabinets (which will be repainted a soft white called "Swiss Coffee") and the granite counter tops. I know the walls will be some kind of neutral and I'm sure it will be called something like Sole of a Foot or Coppertone Self Tanner or some other nonsense. 

It occurs to me that maybe my creative talent is wasted on being a novelist. I should be a paint color namer. For example, let's take gray. Gray? Gray? I spit on the word "gray." No. It should be more like "Dirty Old Spoon" or "Slide Bolt on My Garage Door." Now that tells you what color you're dealing with, right?

And yellow. Hah. How about "Raw Egg" or "Yellow Snow?" Much more helpful and descriptive, n'est-ce pas?

Let's play a game. I'll give you two colors and you give me your best color names. Winner gets a cool prize, specifically a book. You can choose between The Wednesday Wars by Gary Schmidt or My Fair Godmother by Janette Rallison. If you've read both of those, then I'll find something you haven't read. And if you hate books, then . . .

You are a sad, sad person but I will send some sort of candy that won't melt en route, okay?

Here are the two colors. Take your best shot:

Happy Friday, y'all.