Monday, October 11, 2010

Feed Me, Seymour

Oh, my gosh, I have so many blog posts to write and not enough of the following with which to write them:


1. Fingers
2. Brains
3. Minutes on the clock
4. Complete breaths through my left nostril


So I will not be writing my blog post about my love story with Kenny. It's not a long or dramatic story (unless you count the deaths or the tour through Europe) but it has a certain sweetness that comes off better when my brain is not being squeezed by The Hateful Vise of a Super Cruddy Cold. 


Instead, I will tell you the story of why Kenny and I almost did not got married. It's because I was hungry.


Look, I get cranky when I don't have food on demand, okay?


So on one of our earlier dates, Kenny and I were going to this awesome little Thai hole-in-the-wall. But we hadn't been there before and I was super hungry and we were a little bit lost and James kept kicking the back of my seat AND NONE OF KENNY'S JOKES WERE FUNNY. And I don't think I ever snapped at him, but I was not the sweetness and light that I am 99% of the time. 


Okay, 65. Whatever.


And so he got quieter and quieter as the evening wore on. But then I got food and I felt better and so I was trying to save the evening with much laughter and all, and I figured we were all good. 


But then I found out from him much later that he thought he might have glimpsed some sort of latent psychosis and he was thinking, "Maybe this is not such a good idea." But then his sister said, "If she's only been cranky one time and it's because she was hungry and she was back to her usual self after she ate, then YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE."


And he did. But to this day he always carries food in his car at all times.


And we are living happily ever after.

20 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I have always said that food can destroy couples. And men who can't keep it in their pants. But mostly food.

Anonymous said...

That's a smart sister Kenny's got. ;)

Susan said...

That Kristina P. is a smart girl. Men who can't keep it in their pants. *Snicker*

You shouldn't feel bad, M.J. (hey, you're like the dude who wore white socks and did the moonwalk). One time, at a wedding, I started heckling when they didn't feed us until 9 pm. I mean, who does that? After I ate, I was a little ashamed of myself. My husband has a nickname for the grouchy me--Beast. He's so sweet.

LisAway said...

Hypoglycemic much?

Don said...

Oh, this sounds familiar. I was never to be found without snacks for my sweetie. It was an essential survival technique.

Becca said...

Food in the car paves the road to eternal married bliss. I think Confucius said that. Or Emily Dickinson. Or my sister Becky. But someone did. And it is true.

Becca said...

Also, I'm seeing Little Shop on Friday. Yea for the musicals references! :)

Karen M. Peterson said...

I've almost looked for a new apartment a few times because of what my roommate's like when she gets hungry. It's not pretty.

Melinda said...

Oh man, I so hear ya on this one! I've been known to break down in tears when I'm hungry and there's no food solution in sight! Loved this story!

Unknown said...

I think I fell in love with my guy when we were driving from Logan to SLC, and I was starving. We pulled into this 24-hour drive thru, but no one was coming over the speaker to take our order. Now, I've known Brett my whole life, and he's a pretty quiet guy. But he knew I was hungry, and we weren't on anyone's radar. So he suddenly yelled "HEY!!" in the loudest voice I've ever heard him use, before or since. They immediately apologized for not noticing us, took our order, and fed me before I did something unspeakable.

I knew I'd found the guy for me.

Debbie said...

Well of course. Anyone should understand that hunger drives a woman insane.

Charlotte said...

Those sounds like some interesting post topics. My husband and I almost broke up (more than once)over Phase 10.

My husband didn't find out how grouchy I get when tired until after we were married. Fooled him!

* said...

Did someone say sweetness & light? I'm that way, in fits and starts, mostly around the time of night when my 4 kids heads hit the pillow.

Ahhh. Sanity. :)

Food is important, too, though, vital, really, and on fast Sundays? Watch out!! :)

Carolyn V. said...

I get grumpy when hungry, my kids all know to stay clear of me, or hand me a granola bar. =)

amber_mtmc said...

They say food is the way to a man's heart. I say, lack of food causes most relationship disasters. True that.

melissabastow said...

Words from my mouth just two days ago (to my husband): "I never gave you the impression I was nice! You knew what you were getting into the moment you met me!!" So see, at least you tried to make it better, and he ended up not thinking you were psychotic. I never even tried to cover mine up. (Also, mine doesn't go away when I eat...) You're husband should feel lucky he has you.

Jenny P. said...

My husband gets cranky when he doesn't eat. It's why I've learned to tolerate his hovering over the stove eating three or four bites of dinner even though he could just sit down and eat from his plate in fifteen seconds like a normal person... he just has to have those early bites... used to make me insane, now I'm full of loving toleration.

Kazzy said...

I dont really get that way unless I am pregnant or nursing, but when I did it got really ugly!

Emily said...

What a great story!

wendy said...

that was funny that he was pretty much ready to dump you as he was thinking you may be psycho.

glad you got that second chance