Thursday, October 21, 2010

Guess who's coming to dinner?

Every now and then, I have a stroke of genius.


It's hard to tell because with the glassy eyes and drooling, it's sometimes misinterpreted as a regular stroke or just accidentally landing on FOX News and getting brain freeze, so you kind of have to wait to see which way it's going to go. But generally, when it's a stroke of genius, it's followed by this statement:

Me: You know what, honey? I really should be in charge of the whole world.
Kenny: Which part?
Me: All of it.

Here's my latest brilliant idea. I believe I've mentioned that I like to have dinner guests. (If I'm wrong, you can go through my blog archives to prove it, and then sue me. For dinner.) Whether I like someone or at least find them interesting is determined by whether I use their name in the following sentence: "I'd really like to have ___________________ over for dinner."

For example, I'd really  like to have DeNae over for dinner. But instead she had me (and Karen) over for lunch and you all need to get over your jealousy and go on more road trips that take you through Vegas. Then you too can learn the secret of evil she-trolls. (No, I did not just insult DeNae.)

Anyway, often when I'm watching TV, specifically when I see certain people giving interviews on say, The Daily Show or Ellen, I think, "I want them to come over for dinner." So on to the genius idea . . .

Dinner Guest On-Demand. 

It'd be kind of a cross between a library and cable on demand where you can check out a dinner guest to come eat dinner with you and entertain you and then you return them. (Or just make them leave so you can watch your DVR backlog of stuff with your husband and not have to be polite to a stranger who was amusing at dinner but is now just creepy sitting on your sofa.)

I'd start with the following dinner guests, maybe once a week on Saturday evenings: Justin Timberlake, Condoleeza Rice, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Jon Stewart, Kamala Harris, and Meg Cabot.

And yes, my choices are based on largely who I think will make me laugh, plus some smart women so I look all deep and stuff, but mainly . . . I like funny people. If I can think of any funny women who aren't also totally crass, I'll invite them over, too but my mind is blanking at the moment. I'll think harder and update this post when I come up with some. 

Ooooooh . . . . wait, I know! First dinner guest: Tina Fey!

All right. I'm off to stare at the wall and see if the how-to portion of this stroke of genius comes to me.

As you were.

20 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Wait, you're supposed to be funny without being crass?

Chantele Sedgwick said...

So funny! I would love to have Tina Fey over for dinner. I'm a big fan of Justin Timberlake too. He seems like he's hilarious! Did you see the rap him and Jimmy Falon did on Jimmy Falon's late show? AWESOME!
Thanks for the laugh!

Thanks for stopping by my blog, by the way.:)

L.T. Elliot said...

I like lunches with friends but I don't enjoy entertaining. Some people can hack it. Not me. =P But yes, I'm jealous of lunch with DeNae. She's made of awesome!

Melinda said...

Wow, we're so much alike! I have also been known to say "I want ..so and so..to come for dinner!" And I love Justin Timberlake! I often see celebrities and think I want to be "friends" with them, atlas if they're like the person I think they are! Thats where the put them back part comes in, it would be awesome!

Kimberly said...

The how-to portion. Ha. Yes. That's always been my hang up.

I am all about entertaining. Mostly because I'm too lazy to go out...

Lara said...

I think your idea is absolutely brilliant. I love having people over for dinner, too, which is odd, since I certainly don't enjoy cooking it.

And, it's not entirely true what you said about DeNae. EVERY time I was in Vegas she was in Salt Lake. It really wasn't fair.

DeNae said...

We had a GREAT time at lunch, huh? Thanks for coming, girls! Any time we can hook up for that dinner with Tina Fey, say the word, sister. Although I think she'd be kinda intimidating. It might be the first dinner in 46 years in which I didn't dominate the conversation. Que weird!

Karen Peterson said...

Tina Fey for sure!

I think my list would also include Ellen, JK Rowling, and Neil Patrick Harris.

Carolyn V. said...

Tina Fey would be awesome, but she might make stuff spew from my nose as I laughed, and that would just be embarrassing. =p

Becca said...

Would you like to know that all my computer passwords are JU$T!N T!MB3RLAK3?

Attention, Hackers: This is what we call a joke. As you were.

charrette said...

We used to have people over for dinner all the time! I loved it too. Then for some reason we stopped. And now the thought sort of stresses me out...cook AND clean?

That said, here's who I want to have over for dinner:
Jim Gaffigan
Mike Berbiglia
Carol Burnette
Bernadette Peters
Paul McCartney
Emma Thompson
Meryl Streep

-- but if they won't come, DeNae would be good...

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee Way cute! I think I was at the last dinner with DeNae and Kazzy. But then I invited myself so who knows if you really like me or not. ;)

Hey, will you vote for me to be the next Good Mood blogger so I can sit around and blog about all the things that make me smile. I'll blog about you strokes of genius if I win.

http://www.sam-e.com/job/entries/506

MAHALO in advance.

P.S. you can vote once a day. If you want to. I won't force you at gunpoint or anything, but I have a large toilet paper stock.

Annette Lyon said...

Brilliant?

But Justin Timberlake? Is HE funny, or would you just laugh at him?

Amber said...

Almost every Sunday, Ben and I would invite someone from our ward over to dinner. It was pretty cool. Now, thinking about cooking makes me want to run away. Couldn't be two children, could it??

I think I'd add Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, George Clooney, Bernie Mac, and Don Cheadle. Heck, I'd invite the whole Ocean's 11 cast over.

Debbie said...

Oh, I love your list. Can I be the regularly invited guest?

wendy said...

Me me me..........what are you thinking. I am funny.
at least that is what my alter ego keeps telling me.

wendy said...

oh...and if I could bring back the dead....I'd totally invite Patrick Swayze and Steve McQueen (do you even KNOW about him) over.
cause I really like eye candy

Heather of the EO said...

Kristina's comment...LOL. And I hardly ever say that LOL thing. I don't know why...I have an aversion.

This is truly a genius idea. I say that because I've had it before. Just kidding. I haven't. I just like to imagine having all different sorts of famous or not-famous people over. It's a fun way to pass the time. Bono, also Justin Timberlake and Tina Fey (good one), Ellen, Sara Groves (musician), YOU--seriously, when can we meet? I heart you a lot.

(oh great, not only did I LOL, I also said "I heart you" rather than I love you and I suppose that's also an over-used internet statement...but I do. Heart you, that is.)

Charlotte said...

Sounds good. I bet my husband could figure out the how-to part. He almost ate dinner with George Clooney once. (Well they were in the same restaurant at least).

Terresa said...

We haven't had people over for dinner in ages, I think the interest waned a few years ago. Now it's the abbreviated FHE/dessert night, less work, less commitment type of thing. Although I'd invite DeNae over anytime, that girl and I live in the same city, she's one blogger who might actually accept my invite! :)