Every now and then, I have a stroke of genius.
It's hard to tell because with the glassy eyes and drooling, it's sometimes misinterpreted as a regular stroke or just accidentally landing on FOX News and getting brain freeze, so you kind of have to wait to see which way it's going to go. But generally, when it's a stroke of genius, it's followed by this statement:
Me: You know what, honey? I really should be in charge of the whole world.
Kenny: Which part?
Me: All of it.
Here's my latest brilliant idea. I believe I've mentioned that I like to have dinner guests. (If I'm wrong, you can go through my blog archives to prove it, and then sue me. For dinner.) Whether I like someone or at least find them interesting is determined by whether I use their name in the following sentence: "I'd really like to have ___________________ over for dinner."
For example, I'd really like to have DeNae over for dinner. But instead she had me (and Karen) over for lunch and you all need to get over your jealousy and go on more road trips that take you through Vegas. Then you too can learn the secret of evil she-trolls. (No, I did not just insult DeNae.)
Anyway, often when I'm watching TV, specifically when I see certain people giving interviews on say, The Daily Show or Ellen, I think, "I want them to come over for dinner." So on to the genius idea . . .
Dinner Guest On-Demand.
It'd be kind of a cross between a library and cable on demand where you can check out a dinner guest to come eat dinner with you and entertain you and then you return them. (Or just make them leave so you can watch your DVR backlog of stuff with your husband and not have to be polite to a stranger who was amusing at dinner but is now just creepy sitting on your sofa.)
I'd start with the following dinner guests, maybe once a week on Saturday evenings: Justin Timberlake, Condoleeza Rice, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Jon Stewart, Kamala Harris, and Meg Cabot.
And yes, my choices are based on largely who I think will make me laugh, plus some smart women so I look all deep and stuff, but mainly . . . I like funny people. If I can think of any funny women who aren't also totally crass, I'll invite them over, too but my mind is blanking at the moment. I'll think harder and update this post when I come up with some.
Ooooooh . . . . wait, I know! First dinner guest: Tina Fey!
All right. I'm off to stare at the wall and see if the how-to portion of this stroke of genius comes to me.
As you were.