Monday, November 8, 2010

Seeing red

All right. Holiday season is sneaking up on us. That means it's time for my yearly public service announcement and a plea for help from you religious art makers. Artists? Reverence-corrupters. Yes, THAT'S the term I was looking for.


Here's my PSA. Do not wear a red shirt to Target from now until February 1. I have made this mistake two years in a row and I'm telling you, don't do it. It will turn a perfectly normal tri-weekly trip into an exercise in futility and frustration. 


"I don't work here." 
"Nope, I still don't work here." 
"Ma'am, I just told you I don't--you know what? The Nano Bugs are on aisle X-47, between the carpet cleaners and the family planning aids. All the way over THERE. Yes, that's right, on the other side of the store. Buh-bye . . ."


Second, please, if you or someone you know (and I'm sure I have a large-ish following in this category of people) paint pictures of prophets like the ones that appear in books toddlers might look at in sacrament meeting, please do not DO NOT put white-bearded prophets in red robes. The fight over whether its Santa or Moses is unsettling, especially when I have to say, "Yes, that's Santa building an ark to take the stuffed animals to all the little kids" because the sacrament water tray is coming down the row and the toddler is not going to be quiet until he hears you confirm what he KNOWS to be true.


Thanks for your help.

20 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I had no idea. Usually when I wear a red t-shirt, people ask me if I'm in a gang. My job is awesome.

*MARY* said...

This happens to me all the time. It doesn't help that I wear a name tag everywhere I go and ask people if they need help either.

Kimberly said...

Oh the joys.

For the first time, I'm glad to live somewhere without a Target. I just LOVE wearing red.

Kazzy said...

My word. The prophet/Santa confusion is hilarious. My kids always called ET Benson Grampa.

Melinda said...

Its true, its especially bad if you wear a red shirt and khaki pants! They just won't leave you alone!

Stephanie Faris said...

I'm wearing a red shirt and khakis to Target just to count how many people bug me!

L.T. Elliot said...

Check and check. I'll avoid this problem by not going to church OR Target! What? I can't do that? Fine. I'll just wear black until the season is over. >:(

p.s. I seriously laughed at this post. =D

myimaginaryblog said...

Or your child could have ideas about Dr. Seuss's walruses. (See the illustration/caption to this post.)

Karen Peterson said...

When I wear my geeky pin-trading lanyard at Disneyland, people usually assume I work there. I just started telling people how to find whatever they're looking for because it was just easier that way.

Stephanie Black said...

Ha ha ha! Great advice. Better not wear a blue polo to Best Buy either.

Carolyn V. said...

LOL!!! Oh that Target thing. I am going to remember that! I don't want people following me through the store. =)

Becca said...

I always tell people where to find their stuff at Target. The bonus of being bossy and loving red shirts.

Amber said...

I thought it was Santa Claus who put all those animals in his sleigh, I mean ark!

Terresa said...

Thanks for the heads up about Target, I shop there nearly weekly (and have a wardrobe to prove it). :) Nix the red shirts on the days I shop @ Target until January, got it!

Charlotte said...

Thanks for the reminder. Avoid blue shirts and tan pants at Walmart, too. I usually spend 5 minutes stalking the employees to make sure they ARE employees before I ask then for anything.

I've never thought about the Santa confusion, but point taken.

wendy said...

OH my that is funny. We do not have Target up here.....can you believe it. So when I get to Utah I'll be hitting Target sans the red shirt.

Alison Wonderland said...

Teeheheh

Melissa Bastow said...

I will never draw a white bearded prophet in a red robe. You have my word. Also, I don't own a red t-shirt and I don't go to Target much anyway.

So I think we're good.

LisAway said...

"Yes, that's Santa building an ark to take the stuffed animals to all the little kids"

I'm borrowing this quote and using it as the basis for our next FHE, for which I will make my own drawings (since I've never had that illustration problem).

Dedee said...

Seriously? I adore you! This is the best post ever.

lol!