Ah, amore!

Me: I don't know why I watch this show.

Husband: . . . Research? . . .

Me: Grmph.

The show in question: Bachelor Pad. Yes, that giant televised STD that I mostly have to watch on fast forward.

But then after last week's episode--which I just caught up with--I found the answer to why I sit through it. It's because it's a fascinating character study. I hate all the making out. I'm nearly as bad as my tween son is when kissing comes on the TV while he's watching. I roll my eyes and hit the fast forward button.

But the dynamics between the players? I'm kind of sucked in.

The fakes are pretty easy to spot and they're fascinating because I sit and wonder if they really don't realize how transparent they are to other people.

But there are a few people on the show who are as close to genuine as people who go on Bachelor/Bachelorette type shows can be. Like Ames and Jackie.

One look and kablammo! They're in love! And when she gets voted out of the house, he leaves with her! And it doesn't sound very exciting even when I use quotation marks! But the thing is, if you've paid attention to Ames at all (and most of you are way too Klassy for this kind of TV), it was extremely exciting. I must have rewound and watched that three minute scene where he runs after the limo at least ten times. And I'm not that kind of girl. But there's something so priceless about the expression on his face as he walks away from the limo and then realizes he has nothing to say to the people still in the game. So instead of saying anything, he smiles at them and gives them a double-handed wave goodbye, and he runs after Jackie's limo with this funny little laugh like he can't believe what he's doing.

And then she opens the door for him and he says, "Do you have room for one more?"

And ohmygosh I wish I wrote that scene. The PERFECT ending for a book.

I don't recommend taking up the show because 1) ew and 2) I had to sit through about 117 minutes of crap to mine that diamond, but OH MY it was a pretty one.

And then I made my husband watch it and even he was like, "Uh, that dude's red pants are lame. Also, that was kind of cool."

I love LOVE!