Little old lady

My oldest had a piano recital at an old folks' home on Saturday. I love me some old people. Did you know that? Specifically, I love me some old men. This is probably because I didn't lose my last great-grandparent until I was sixteen. My great-grandmas were all senile. Not so fun. But my great-grandfather was cool. And my grandfather, Pawpaw, was the coolest of all. SUPER cool. So that probably explains the old man thing.


I even urge Kenny to get old faster. "Don't dye your goatee. I like the gray." "Hurry up and have a birthday already." "Olden up, dude!"


But some of this is explained by the fact that I know very few cool old ladies. There's one in my ward named Lois. She's awesome. But mostly the old ladies I know are either dotty or bitter. Such was the case at the old folks' home this weekend. And it got me thinking about what kind of old lady I'm going to be.


I probably will wear orthopedic shoes, elastic waistbands, and yell at people to get off my lawn.


Well, I'm not sure about the orthopedic shoes, but I'm one short-of-sleep night away from living in my sweatpants forever. And for sure I don't want people on my lawn. Mainly because if even one person stands on it then I can't see it anymore.


But it made me feel kind of determined to not be a pain in the butt to everyone when I reach my dotage. Because I'm pretty sure I'm headed on that trajectory.


And seriously, I only have, like, thirty-five years to figure out how to not be crusty as I age. 


I'll start tomorrow.

Wassup?

Um, so I'm returning from the longest hiatus of my blog's life. And it was totally unintentional. I am not tired of blogging. I am not tired of reading blogs.


But I am also not made of free time, and I had some CRAZY writing deadlines come up. So in order to make my life work, I put blinders on.


It worked. But I  missed you guys. And in typical Me fashion, I've got nothing special to tell you. I'm just here, kicking it. 


Uh, so how's everyone's Christmas going? I think I'm done with all but two people's gifts. This is happy-making. Want ideas for stuff? Here's a couple:


If you have an adolescent boy, especially one who loves Mythbusters, DON'T BUY HIM A CANNON. But you might want to buy him this book: Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction. My brother gave it to my 12-year-old and he's been in heaven building things like Tic Tac guns and aluminum foil and match missiles. 


Oh, or you have a mystery reader, you can give them this book from Stephanie Black: 

I really thought I had this one nailed right out of the gate, and of course, I was wrong. Or rather, I was partially right. But Stephanie is super good at throwing you a bunch of viable possibilities and making it super hard to figure out which one is right. If you know any mystery lovers, they'll love it. You can get it here.


And I'd post some other cool ideas but the people getting those gifts read my blog, so it'll have to wait. Sorry!


What else? Oh, I got my new cover for my next book. I'll have to see when I have permission to show it to you.


And I lost 3.5 pounds so far this month. I'm working HARD. But still enjoying some Christmas treats.


We have to replace part of our roof. Not awesome. And that's after replacing our furnace and air conditioner two weeks ago. Oh, and the van radiator. We're still having Christmas, but only because Kenny's cool with working until he's dead and skipping the whole retirement thing. 


I hate these Christmas songs: Baby, It's Cold Outside (this is totally what Edward sing to Bella, I think), I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (it caused my 4 year old to have a breakdown in the van last week), and Santa, Baby because EW, and no, there is no cute version of this song. They're all gross. Also, I've noticed when Celine Dion sings Christmas carols, they manage to sound as if they're entirely about her. 


And . . . now I have to go bake stuff, because this day is never ending. 


Oh, although I think you can win my book Not My Type here if you want: http://www.ldswomensbookreview.com/wordpress/2011/12/11/not-my-type-by-melanie-jacobson-countdown-to-christmas-2011/

And your odds are super good right now, so GO.