Monday, December 19, 2011

Little old lady

My oldest had a piano recital at an old folks' home on Saturday. I love me some old people. Did you know that? Specifically, I love me some old men. This is probably because I didn't lose my last great-grandparent until I was sixteen. My great-grandmas were all senile. Not so fun. But my great-grandfather was cool. And my grandfather, Pawpaw, was the coolest of all. SUPER cool. So that probably explains the old man thing.


I even urge Kenny to get old faster. "Don't dye your goatee. I like the gray." "Hurry up and have a birthday already." "Olden up, dude!"


But some of this is explained by the fact that I know very few cool old ladies. There's one in my ward named Lois. She's awesome. But mostly the old ladies I know are either dotty or bitter. Such was the case at the old folks' home this weekend. And it got me thinking about what kind of old lady I'm going to be.


I probably will wear orthopedic shoes, elastic waistbands, and yell at people to get off my lawn.


Well, I'm not sure about the orthopedic shoes, but I'm one short-of-sleep night away from living in my sweatpants forever. And for sure I don't want people on my lawn. Mainly because if even one person stands on it then I can't see it anymore.


But it made me feel kind of determined to not be a pain in the butt to everyone when I reach my dotage. Because I'm pretty sure I'm headed on that trajectory.


And seriously, I only have, like, thirty-five years to figure out how to not be crusty as I age. 


I'll start tomorrow.

17 comments:

Vivian said...

I'm sure you'll be one of those old ladies with great stories to tell. Merry Christmas to you!!

Susan said...

I'm already crotchety. I get irritated at people who jacke with my schedule or who say they're going to do something and don't do it. But I refuse to wear polyester pants.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I don't mind turning 40 next year, but I'm terrified of the years after 70. To their credit, it must be kind of miserable and disappointing, and I always get grumpy when I'm sorely disappointed. I'm so scared of me.

Kristina P. said...

I think you are already mastering the crotchitiness.

Maggie said...

Good luck with the non-crustiness. I wonder how that happens to everyone?

Donna K. Weaver said...

Yeah? Well, some of us are a lot closer to that than 35 years. But I'm with you. I don't want to be one of those set-in-your-ways, never-willing-to-learn-anything-new old ladies. No way.

"Mainly because if even one person stands on it then I can't see it anymore."

ROFL

Barbaloot said...

My grandma (who just passed away at 101) was named Lois. It must be the name that makes those old-ladies cool cuz she was awesome! :)

I'm going to be a mean old lady. Like the one on To Kill A Mockingbird who sits on her porch with a gun on her lap and yells at kids as they walk by.

meradeth said...

My great-grandmother once told me something that has always made me think getting older may be a bit of fun, if you let it. She said, "Getting old is great--you get to be as mean as you want, and do whatever you want, and no one thinks anything of it." I think I kind of like that :)

Karen Peterson said...

I refuse to wear elastic. I'm going with house dresses.

And I look forward to being the crusty old lady that everyone loves because, despite the crustiness, she's hilarious and says out loud what everyone else is silently thinking.

Yup, that sounds about right.

Kazzy said...

Yeah, I may be able to envision you in elastic waistband pants, but ortho shoes? NEVER!

I love old ladies myself. They are weathered and wise and funny and I can usually see some kind of experience in their faces.

Linda said...

I love to read what you write!!!!!! And yes, You had the coolest Grandfather!!!!!!!

Amber Lynae said...

Oh, I'm so far down the grumpy old lady path right now.... I really sure call for a rescue mission if I want any change of being cool like Lois.

LisAway said...

This post, which I read but never commented on, came up in a conversation with two ladies in an English "class" (they pay me to talk to them about whatever I want in English) last week. We were talking about how it's good for kids to be around old people so they can appreciate them as they grow up. It wasn't exactly about your post, but sort of.

Also, I hope you're having a Merry Birthaversary!! And sorry if I misspelled that!

Annette Lyon said...

I'm already cranky; I'll make a perfect old lady.

But I think I'd prefer to be the cool one. Something to work on . . .

wendy said...

I am so glad you love old people...THANK YOU. (tee,hee)
I think too about my aging process...and how I'm going to be.
I do not want to be crotchety.
I want to pinch old men (my hubby) on the butt.
wear sexy shoes despite my bunions
um..I'll probably do the elastic waist band pants (ahhhh, can eat more)
lots of lipstick
perfume
and hopefully NO depends.

Melinda said...

"Olden up Dude!" AWESOME! hahaha

Oh man, seeing my grandparents' age, I really REALLY worry about being a mean old person. I know plenty of awesome old people, but I know some really mean ones. I really hope just consciously making a decision to not be one, now while I'm younger, will help with that. *fingers crossed*


(p.s. Do you think men are nice when they're old because they get to retire and be lazy, while women have to still do everything they always did: clean the house, do the laundry, scrub toilets? I guess I could get bitter over that...) ;)

annie valentine said...

I love me some old people too, probably because we share the same music. I'm living with my slobby sisters when we're old (plus a housekeeper). That way we can still play duets, granted we don't get strokes on the same sides.