It's funny how life is so full of highs and lows. I think whichever one you find yourself in, the trick is to hang on. You either have to soak up every last second of the good times or grit your teeth and tough out the bad times, and those are the times where all you can do is hang on to hope.
I guess it has to be like that. Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe we could be perfectly happy in and of ourselves except that sometimes we're forced to live with the consequences of other people's mistakes and in those moments it's hard to be happy. So maybe it doesn't have to be good and bad. But it IS good and bad. So we have to deal.
I remember the insight that changed my life. I was a teenager. And someone said something about that scripture (it's probably not even a scripture and I don't feel like Googling because I want to pretend it's a scripture even if it isn't) that says, "This too shall pass." And I had this realization that there were things that had seemed earth-shattering the year before when I was fifteen that by sixteen had become no big deal at all. And now twenty years on, I can't remember anything that was a big, bad deal when I was fifteen. I remember some fun stuff, though. And that's a lesson.
It's one I've been able to cling to when I've been in the very lowest troughs. It can't last forever. Einstein proved it with a mathematical formula, I think. At any rate, reminding myself of that makes the challenge of the moment more get-through-able.
I'm braced for the onslaught of messages and comments. "What's wrong? Is everything okay? Can I help?" The answers: I'm not going to tell you, No, and No. But I would also add I have lots of help, the best kind of help. I also have lots of hope. I am not sick. No one is dying. I think we're dealing with something fixable. I'm married to the best man I've ever known and it makes everything doable. He is my rock.
But I appreciate your worry. I feel better venting this tiny bit of steam. And now I'm going to walk into the kitchen and engage in the hundred little repetitive things I do every day that someone how right now make me feel so much better. And I will be fine and on my way to getting finer.
And also, I will probably spend some quality time with Veronica Mars and a pile of clean laundry and that will help tremendously, too
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19 comments:
Just thinking of you, my friend.
One thing I find is that I watch other people and think, How come it's all so easy for her? And then I remember my own epiphany moment: Everyone's going through something.
Everyone is.
And sometimes we can't help each other, but we can do each other the honor of assuming that everyone's going through something.
Love you, you know.
Great insights, Melanie. You are awesome, as always.
Wow, you had that insight at 16...I obviously have a long way to go! I wish there *was* something I could do, and thats not empty I promise! :)
Well then I guess I won't ask what happened and what I can do, but I hope all goes well and Veronica Mars helps lots. If not, there's always Buffy.
*hugs*
As my seminary teacher always used to say, "And it came to pass- not 'it came to stay'". I read a magazine article in which a new mom was talking about how her mom always used to tell her "It's just for today." She never really got what that meant till she was up at 3am with a screaming baby and was panicking about having to get up to get ready for work at 6am. Then she realized- so what? So what if I don't get to sleep at all tonight? I'll still get ready for work at 6am, slug through the day like a zombie, and I'll still be alive and tomorrow night will be better. It's just for today.
I try to remember that when I'm going through hard stuff. Just get through today and either it will get better tomorrow or it won't- but eventually it will. :-)
I love Becca's comment.
And even though I'm probably not experiencing what you're experiencing, I think I understand what you're feeling.
I wish there were an easy quick internet phrase (other than "Hugs.") to say I feel connected to you and wish we could go to lunch and talk about it or something.
Hope things are on the mend. And I love your new cover.
Smoothies, chocolate, french fries - at least one of those HAS to help, right?
When I was going through something that felt impossible to go through, i had to keep telling myself: It won't be like this forever. Even if the situation is here to stay, It won't be as stark and painful and impossible forever.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.
Thank you for sharing what has turned out to be a generally comforting post at a time when you're the one who really needs the comforting. I guess that was the point of the comforting part. I hope for you. And, just in case, I'll include you in my prayers.
And I have to admit to a giggle about the origin of "This too shall pass". I don't have any idea either. Also, last night we watched two different videos for OK Go's song "This Too Shall Pass". So your post was quite timely. And I'm glad you know there's an end somewhere.
I hope everything is okay. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. :) If you need anything, let me know! I'm only a couple of states away!
I'm sorry for what you're going throug and glad you're full of love and support. If you need another distraction, just give me a call. We can do lunch.
Hugs. I am glad it is something fixable. Let me know if you need some IRL help, I can swing by and help!
"This won't last forever" is how I've gotten through a lot of crappy times. And so far, I've always been right.
well, I think there is a scripture (not sure, don't want to google it) that says "that which does not kill us only makes us stronger"
something like that.
I was never really good at memorizing scriptures.
but...you have a lot of people in your corner who'll be thinking of you
so "hang in there" (is that another scripture?)
hugs today
Now that my computer has FINALLY seen fit to let me get here, I forgot what I meant to say.
Well, I'll say this instead: I don't know what your going through, or really need to. What I know is this: that sinking feeling in your stomach will go away. The heart stopping moments where you wait for the right piece of news will decrease. And even though it might feel very, very dark, the sun will come up. Or someone will at least turn on a lamp.
And on an entirely unrelated note, I finally managed to get a hold of your books. And I loved them. Thanks for 2 days of lovely reading.
Big warm wishes.
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