Monday, December 15, 2008

No surrender, no retreat

My laptop is possessed of an evil spirit. It does strange and bizarre things.

I think perhaps it's rebelling against overuse.

But it's my lifeline, the little thread that ties me to sanity and keeps me from sinking into the deepening pool of baby shrieks and discarded toys and Cheerios that fills up at an alarming rate.

The rebellion used to be subtle. My computer, instead of simply going to sleep and being groggily awakened to pick up where it left off, shuts down all of my programs and restarts itself if I leave it for too long. That's how this uprising began, anyway. But I guess it felt that wasn't enough to get my attention. This sly little laptop of mine has added new tricks. It now refuses to let me through my password screen, sometimes requiring multiple reboots before deigning to process my password and pull up my desktop screen. And its best trick of all: my cursor randomly jumps in the middle of typing (regardless of the program I'm using) so that I'm suddenly typing one word in the middle of a sentence I wrote two paragraphs before. I'm constantly having to delete and reorient myself. Seriously. Like every five sentences. This is bad news when I'm trying to meet my daily writing goals.

It's possible I have engaged in laptop abuse. I will neither confirm nor deny the hurling of insults and attempting to shame it into performing.

But this is not a nice laptop. And as soon as my husband breaks the spell that Mistborn 1-3 has held him under for the last three weeks, he's totally ratting you out to Big Brother at Dell, laptop. You hear me, laptop? Your reign of terror is near its end. And if you dare hold any of my files hostage, you don't even want to know what revenge I'll exact.

Watch your back, laptop. Watch your back.

10 comments:

Annette Lyon said...

Stupid technology. It's such a love/hate thing. Hope you get some vengeance and whip that puppy into submission. (Or maybe that Santa will bring you a new one?)

LisAway said...

If you can beat the funk, you can beat the laptop!

Mine does that jumping into the middle of a sentence I wrote 5 minutes ago thing, too, so I totally get it about the reorienting yourself.

Mine recently started shutting down now and again, too. It used to only be while I was watching something on youtube or listening to an mp3 file. Now it does it when I leave it alone for a little while, too.

So fun!

Mina said...

This may not stem from abuse on your part. Computers all possess a certain amount of voodoo, and some are known to practice more frequently at random times. There are exorcists out there, but occasionally a computer will delve into the black arts beyond salvation. I hope that yours is rescuable. Keep praying.

Nancy said...

I wish I had a laptop to abuse and be abused by...my regular computer drives me crazy as it is. I guess it is not the computer so much as my lack of knowledge on software use. I just bought a photoshop elements package and have no idea how to use it...but I want to. : )

Kristina P. said...

We bought a new laptop several months ago, so it's great.

Our PC, however, is ridiculously slow and it keeps kicking me out online. It makes me sad.

myimaginaryblog said...

My husband deleted a bunch of virii from our computer this morning. He figured out he'd brought them home from school: His students put files on his laptop by plugging their flash drives into his laptop, which he then plugged his own flash drive into, and then later plugged his flash drive into our PC.

Anyway, good luck with the exorcism -- and be sure to back up everything important, just in case.

Alison Wonderland said...

I just read this post on my laptop and now I'm afraid you've given it ideas.
Love you Lappy, mean it!

Sue said...

It's actually not the laptop, it's Satan. He doesn't want you to finish your manuscript.

Debbie said...

I do not like machines that get an attitude. You can take it. Have confidence.

CaJoh said...

Perhaps you should browse some sites that sell computers and pretend to search for a new one. That may scare it into shape.