Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Please still hang out with me after this post.

My husband and I are sitting here and giggling like Beavis and Butthead and the giggles are gradually growing into Homer Simpson-esque guffaws. (Nancy, you may want to stop reading here. I'm warning you!)

Some random comment on someone's blog tonight got me thinking about words that sound like they're bad words but they're not. And I'm sorry, but that's a long and funny list.

Seriously, tell me that you can say more than three of these words in a row without a giggle escaping.

vascillate
undulate
uvula (even boys have one!)
fecund
rector
masticate
sinuous

And those are only the ones I feel like I can write down. There's a whole list of them that I can't include that sound totally dirty and they're totally not.

It's possible I'm a total prude.

Like even more prudish than a rector.

*Giggling madly*

I reserve the right to moderate comments vigilantly today!!!

34 comments:

Shellie said...

Once I had to write "I will not masticate the substance that comes from trees" about 2000 times for gettign caught chewing gum in a class.

So masticate is one of my least favorite words :)

oh and I also hate the word "Panties"

Kazzy said...

Yes, I will still be your friend, but only if you get your mind out of the gutter. LOL

Stephanie and Co. said...

This reminds me of elementary when kids would yell, "I can see your epidermis!" And then you felt all stupid or weird, because it sounded awful.
This list made me giggle too.

The Three 22nds said...

My FIL uses the word "masticate" in normal conversation.

I shudder everytime I hear it.

Chris said...

How bad should I be... :)

Oh, I can't help myself...

I have a friend who used to live in Bangkok. He lived in a rectory that had a real problem with titmice. He would gesticulate when describing the issue, but finally got some arsoles to deal with them.

(Man, I am SOOOO deleted today! :)

Annette Lyon said...

I'm so lame that I had to stop and THINK about what could be seen as dirty in a few of them.

Kristina P. said...

Haha! Annette's comment made me laugh. I have used the ulvula one before.

DeNae said...

I teach Gospel Doctrine and Institute, and for some reason I find myself so TEMPTED to use the word "intercourse" in describing the likely economic relationships that existed between the last of the Jaredite tribes and the Lamanites. But I'm pretty sure that would be a bit distracting for my members.

Often, someone has to read aloud the word "Prostrate", and they invariably remove the necessary and definition changing "R". I've gone 20 years nearly herniating myself not laughing or, worse, correcting them.

What about words that sound lovely but really are questionable? I read a thing 10 years or so ago where non-english speakers were asked to rank the 'most beautiful sounding english words'.

That year's winner? "Gonorrhea".

Jami said...

That's so puerile!

Nancy said...

Well, visiting the Draper Temple yesterday, I noticed in the ward building next to it was a door labeled rostrum and right next to it a door labeled restroom...hmmm.

Nancy said...

arsoles, by the way is not a word in the dictionary...I had to look it up...there is aeroles? Chris should not make up words for our own pleasure!! I knew all the other words. : )

Kimberly said...

I'm just having a good ole fashioned snigger-fest now. Yes, maturity wise I'm about seven, I think.

Anne Bradshaw said...

So sorry you didn’t win the give-away on my blog this week at Not Entirely British.

Thanks for taking part. Hope you will enter again soon. The latest contest is for 2 books and a CD!

Chaka said...

I hate it when people refer to food toppings as condiments. I also hate the word exacerbate to explain a worsening condition. I also call the person who plays the piano a "piano player". Don't think I'm a potty mouth or my mind is in the gutter, I have just been conditioned to never say these words.

Heather of the EO said...

uvula. Did you see the post on The Girl in the Glasses? Oh my...

She called her doctor's office complaining about her vulva (she meant uvula, as she had a sore throat)

Hilarious!

Emily said...

Melanie, I was actually laughing out loud because these do sound like naughty little words!

I dare you to use one of these dirty little words in your post every day next week.

I know you can do it. You're secretly (or not so secretly) a word nerd!

CaJoh said...

Yes, I too was giggling. Just reminds me of watching a show about the Hoover Dam and giggling every time they talked about the Dam site.

Mina said...

I'll only stop being your friend when you mature.

I heard some one once say that the seamen were coming ashore. Yeah, I bet they were!

Mina said...

Oh, and Ca-Joh, we have a bunch of dam pictures that we took at Hoover last summer. We all look like dam idiots smiling there.

Erin said...

Even "immorTality" and "immorality" have completely different meanings, but I have heard the wrong one being used at church before.

Hilarious!

kenny, the husband said...

DeNea's Gopsel Doctrine comments reminded me of something I did years ago (before I was married and mature... ;)

My friend Sarah was teaching the Gospel Doctrine lesson in the singles ward I was attending and she asked for a volunteer to read Mosiah 12:5. Now I wouldn't be exaggerating too much to say that'd I'd been waiting my whole life for this opportunity. I raised my hand and read the the scripture beautifully (if I do say so myself) being sure to pronounce the last two words of the verse as if they were one word with the emphasis on the first syllable.

5 Yea, and I will cause that they shall have burdens lashed upon their backs; and they shall be driven before like a dumb ass.

Oh boy, the whole room went silent. Even my poor friend Sarah was speechless.

I just said, "What?!? That's what it says...if you had been reading along with me you'd know that..."

Melanie J said...

Wow, thanks, Husband. I'm so proud.

Janet Ruth said...

This post made me howl! I am a grandmother and really should act my age by now. However, it is rather hard sometimes when your husband's name is Dick. If you use your imagination, you might think of some of the ways I have gotten myself in trouble over the years.

wendy said...

My goodness, potty mouth---shame on you (ha ha) I like the word Diarrhea --it actually sounds quite lovely to say, just let it flow off your lips like some Victorian Debutant--my name is Diarrhea. call me crazy.....

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee hee. I'm glad you included undulate.

Jeremiah of TH said...

This post titilated me...just a little.

-Jeremiah

Chris said...

Nancy - It was on a list. I had to look it up. Did I not spell it right? Well, I was laughing pretty hard. :)

I'm one of those people who never swear so I was blushing madly while typing. Call me immature. :)

Melanie, I loved your post! :)

Heidi Ashworth said...

You potty mouth, you!

Alison Wonderland said...

Moist
Uranus
Weinus
Labia (it just means lips folks)
Buccal

There are tons in medical teminology.

Anonymous said...

If you masticate in front of me, please do not show me your bolus. It's gross.

Loved it, Mel. I'm laughing even more hysterically because of the exhaustion...-Jaymee

Eowyn said...

~Snigger~ I love it. And the comments are priceless. It's amazing how words that are absolutely harmless make me wriggle inside.

The Boob Nazi said...

undulate hahahahahaha
I also agree with Shellie in that panties is the most horrible word in the world.

charrette said...

My nine-year-old son would LOVE this! I'm telling you, spelling homework would be no problem with a list like this!

But how did you forget INTEGER?

charrette said...

My nine-year-old son would LOVE this! I'm telling you, spelling homework would be no problem with a list like this!

But how did you forget INTEGER?