Monday, April 20, 2009

Hugging Trees, Y'all

As you know, because I'm sure you circled it with a big old red heart that has a tree growing out of it, Earth Day is on Wednesday. Since we do some amazing things in our house to help protect our environment, I wanted to share them today rather than wait so that these awesome ideas don't get lost in the shuffle of other tips people will throw out on actual Earth Day.

Here are some of my top tips for going green.

1. I don't do laundry. It saves water and prevents detergent from seeping into the ocean and killing Nemo.

2. I don't dry my hair with a blow dryer because that also saves electricity and has nothing to do with the fact that one time when I was blowdrying my hair, my roundbrush got tangled so badly it had to be cut out. It's purely an environmental move.

3. I know that everyone touts the virtues of vinegar as a great "green" cleaning solution, but I truly believe that the magic of mother spit has been woefully overlooked. Have you ever seen a mom lick her finger and then rub at something toxic and malignant on her child's face and it melts away like nothing? I'm telling you, vinegar can't touch it.

4. I drive everywhere I go. I figure if I rode my bike too much, I would wear it out and it would have to be thrown away which means taking up space in a landfill.

5. We never take our garbage out. See above about landfills.

6. I only change my baby's diaper once a day. This is also landfill related. If it's just pee, we can go two days or more.

7. We don't read the newspaper. Not even online because it would take electricity to power their servers and that's bad for the environment. Somehow.

8. I've told my child to quit doing his spelling homework. All that paper kills trees.

9. This one comes courtesy of the four sets of neighbors who let their dogs freely poop on the lawn and don't bag it. Organic fertilizer, you guys.

10. We let our lights burn day and night. This is because we use eco-friendly CFC bulbs and they take a LOOONNNNGGGG time to burn out. The thing is, if no one's buying new ones because the old ones are burning out, then the industry might not be able to support itself. So we try to make sure there's always someone they can sell to by burning ours out as fast as possible.

Hope it helps. Happy Earth Day, everyone!

*We're actually kind of green, so no yelling.

23 comments:

Kazzy said...

Some people go all out for mother earth! LOL

Kristina P. said...

Hey, do you want to be my soul sister in trying to destroy the earth?

OK, the real deal is that I have no problem with recycling and doing all that stuff, if it's easy for me. If the recycling bin is right at my feet? I have no problem throwing my bottled water in it.

LisAway said...

I'm already doing almost all of these. Yay for me!

Roundbrushes are of the devil.

Julie said...

Love this! In fact, I loved it so much I had to forward it somewhat on my own blog. Posted my response at www.bear5500.blogspot.com.

CaJoh said...

Somewhere they actually bottle up mom's spit and sell it. Not sure what it actually is, but it's a great novelty gift.

myimaginaryblog said...

I only bathe my children once a week. Good for the earth, good for their skin in our dry climate, and good for my being able to spend a little more time online. Win-win-win.

Becky said...

Well, now I feel bad. I turn off the light every time I leave a room. I had no idea what a bad habit this was. Oh, the shame!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

hahahahaha! I love that. And yea I agree with the Diaper one. That was good! :) lol

Lara said...

You are such an inspiration. If only I could be as green as you are. Maybe this Earth Day I can start.

Mina said...

Give, give, give. You are an inspiration!

Happy Earth Day.

Kimberly said...

Hee hee...you are a genius, my friend! Pure brilliance!

Emily said...

WOW! You really are green! I love the part about the blow dryer!

Debbie said...

This was really funny! I loved it. Just my kind of humor:)

nano*ink said...

also, there is no need to flush the toilet and waste all that water.

Erin said...

Hey, I use those lightbulbs too!

I love how people are calling you an inspiration. I second that!

Heidi Ashworth said...

We are twins separated at birth. Oh, wait, I already have an actual twin. Triplets, then.

megs said...

i'm so proud of you. the no laundry and no taking out of garbage is very noble of you.

i'm impressed.

but what about washing your hands?? do you really have to do it after every time you go to the bathroom??? think of how much water you can save by not washing your hands!!!

Melinda said...

I also love using aerosol hairspray, I heard that its super good for air quality. Or something like that.
Too funny!

Alison Wonderland said...

I love the spelling homework! I love even more that the Princess goes to school and they fill her head with a load of propaganda about deforestation to the point that she cries when she seems me throw paper away and then the send home the 15 workbook pages that she did that day and the 10 notices about how school's closing early on Friday just like it does every Friday. I swear, next year I'm getting each of my kids a slate and piece of chalk.

Eowyn said...

Lolol!

You are I are soul sisters! I'm so happy to know I'm not the only one!

LexiconLuvr said...

LOL! Happy Earth Day!

Jessica G. said...

I agree...the wonders of mother spit are completely underestimated!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

ha hahahahahahahahah LOVE THIS POST!