Tuesday, April 14, 2009

It's the Itchy and Scratchy Show

I am being driven slowly insane by the itching in my ear. My left ear. It's making me nuts. I know what it is. The eustachian tube. Something's draining. Whatever. It's the itch that cannot be scratched. I totally would if I could.

My ears have not always been kind to me. I think they like to reassert their primacy every now and then. I like to say primacy.

Anyway, I had tubes twice when I was kid. The second time, they didn't come out on their own. I had to have them surgically removed and one eardrum had to be reconstructed with a skin graft from above my ear. I was fourteen and I got to wear this big, white Princess Leia looking plastic cup shield thing over my ear. At school. It cemented my coolness.

I think DeNae recently asserted her primacy as the Queen of the Nerds. But I'm confident I could be super high up in the nerd hierarchy. You read my blog. You know. Just in case the giant plastic shield wasn't enough to paint the picture. Anyway, I could definitely rise in the nerd ranks. I mean, I have too much fashion sense to be president of the Nerd Nation, but I would soooo qualify for a cabinet level position. Maybe the Nerd Secretary of Commerce. I definitely spend enough money in nerdly pursuits. I just bought my husband the entire boxed set of Star Trek: TNG dvds for his birthday. And I passed more than one party in high school and college in a corner with a book that I snuck in my purse, bought after haunting used book stores for hours. Oh, and I'd run right out and rent the next BSG episodes last summer if Netflix was taking too long to get them to me.

But whatever. I think I lost my train of thought. Which is so weird because that NEVER happens.

What was I talking about?

Oh, yeah. So anyway, the point is, my ear itches. It's making me crazy.

17 comments:

Debbie said...

It drives me crazy when my ear itches and I try to scratch it with my tongue in the back of my mouth or by opening and closing my mouth. Yes, that drives me crazy too.

Heather of the EO said...

Both you and Debbie have me laughing this morning. Thanks!

Kazzy said...

LOL, you crack me up. I am kind of an ear fanatic. I q-tip twice a day.

CaJoh said...

Wait a minute— isn't that supposed to mean something like you're coming into money.

DeNae said...

With your having hearing-impaired parents, your complaints about ear problems worry me just a teeeensy bit.

BSG...BSG...nope. Not ringing any bells. Does this make me MORE of a nerd or LESS?

Kristina P. said...

Oh, I love you. I totally came to comment on this post last night, and it was gone. Thanks for the shout out.

myimaginaryblog said...

I hate it when Blogger eats my witty comments, and I don't have the will to retype them.

I hope your ear gives you relief soon.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

LOL...at you and DEBBIE...so funny. I was a nerd also...I read all summer instead of doing what cool people did, like swim, tan, and get into trouble!

nano*ink said...

Do you read at stoplights?

LexiconLuvr said...

I hate that itchiness! And I totally got the BSG reference. What does that say about me?

LexiconLuvr said...

OH MY GOSH! I just checked your stats for word count and your ALMOST DONE!!!!!!! WAY TO GO, MELANIE! SURPRISE PARTY FOR YOU!!!!

DeNae said...

It came to me in the shower: Battle Star Galactica! YESSS! My reign as Queen of the Nerds remains unchallenged!!

(...and my husband would absolutely rejoice if I gave him the ST:TNG set. I honestly believe it would be better for him than, um, reading the scriptures together...)

megs said...

i'm so glad that i found your blog!! you're hilarious! i'm sorry about your ear! i hate when i have things that just constantly itch. it's sooo frustrating!

anywho, keep up the good work!! i'll definitely be following your blog :-)

Kimberly said...

It was such a treat this morning reading several of your posts in a row. I needed the laughs - you rock.

wendy said...

That. Would. Drive. Me. Nuts!! I'd be digging in my ear ---get a fork. no don't, they say don't stick things in your ear---yikes, get a crochet hook!!!

April said...

OH MY GOSH!! Someone else shares my pain! I drive along in my car looking like a moron because I'm always opening my mouth to "pop" my ears. (Knowing full well it won't work because my right eustachian tube won't close.)

Chas Hathaway said...

Ha, ha! I think I'd like to propose a nerd stimulus package. I think some of us could get quite a fortune!

- Chas
http://chas.willowrise.com