Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Don't judge

I am SOOOOO tired that linking is beyond me. Please forgive me! But I have mustered just enough energy to tell a story.

Kimberly at Temporary Insanity blogged not too long ago about being stupid. I related not because I have those days but because I have PERFECTED them.

Scene: It's Friday night. My husband and our nine-year-old are at the father/son camp out until the next morning. In half an hour, the baby will be asleep, and IT WILL BE HERE...the moment I have lived for all week, the night that has given me a reason to get through some stressful days. I have laid by supplies for the evening: A Hershey almond bar and a Cadbury hazelnut bar because I wasn't sure which one I'd be in the mood for, a bag of jalapeno potato chips, two root beers, and some cherry licorice Nibs to break up the chocolate. Oh, and some chocolate covered donuts, a huge slice of lasagna, and a snack size bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. You know, for variety.

I also have a library bag full of books I've meaning to read, freshly checked out and stacked on the coffee table, and the DVR is set to record Sixteen Candles, Miss Congeniality 2, and Poseidon.

I have looked forward to this moment for days, the moment where I can put the baby down and DO WHATEVER FORM OF NOTHING THAT I WANT TO.

Except I need to put his eyedrops in for the raging case of pink eye that he got on Thursday. So I go to get them. But I can't find them any where. And that's when I realize...I left them at the dentist office where I dosed him while waiting for my older child to finish his check up that afternoon. And it's 8:00 at night. And I have to figure out what to do because Baby G just started this antibiotic course and his eye is still swollen. Very swollen.

I call and leave a message at the dentist's office. Sometimes they have Saturday hours. Maybe the next morning will be one of those days. Then I call the nurse line for my HMO. I hold for over thirty minutes, keeping my child awake in case I have to stick him in the car and drive to a pharmacy. Finally, I put him down. The nurse says he can skip one dose of his medicine and tries to help me figure out how to get him more the next morning. The pharmacist can't do it without a new prescription which means a new doctor's visit. The appointment center is closed. I run through all my options and figure out a game plan for the morning. It will no longer involve lounging around and doing nothing.

The next morning, I page the dentist who does NOT have office hours that Saturday but being a mom herself, drives in from another town to her office to look for the drops. No dice. While I wait for her call back, I polish off my leftover chocolate and potato chips, providing the baby with the same nutritious breakfast (don't judge). When the dentist says the drops aren't there, I call the one clinic thirty minutes away that has Saturday pediatric hours. They have an appointment in twenty minutes or one in the later afternoon. We're already verging on missing two doses so I have to take the one in twenty minutes.

I am dressed in a bright green skirt and a bright purple shirt that I only threw on so I could check the car for the drops first thing and not shock the neighbors. There is no time to change. I haven't brushed my hair or teeth or put on make up. Don't judge. The baby is still in his pajamas (which are actually just yesterday's romper, don't judge) so I wrangle him out of the high chair and brush off the chocolate and potato chip crumbs as best as I can. I grab a clean diaper (because somehow I forgot to even change him for the morning, don't judge) and fly to the car. I make it to the clinic in the fastest legal time possible which still makes me fifteen minutes late. I hand over the medical insurance card and then go to pay the $30 co-pay when I realize...

I don't have my wallet. It's in the library bag where I put it after using my library card. I nearly melt down when they won't let me use a check without ID (it's in the wallet) but then they say they'll bill me. Wait an hour to see the doctor. She says he's fine. She gives me a new prescription for an ointment instead of drops. I fill it after Baby G entertains the entire pharmacy waiting room with his silly toddler antics, and we get home just in time to welcome back my husband and other child, two office and pharmacy co-pays later.

So the point is, I screwed up my own night, and fell asleep two chapters into my book.

But I made an important realization about myself, and actually about my husband, that has a lot to do with why we've never fought once. And I'll share it tomorrow, because this is an awfully long post for being as tired as I am.

24 comments:

Debbie said...

Is there a mother out there that hasn't had a similar episode?
First, I never put my kids in PJs when they were little. Have you looked at their clothes? They are pjs! And the food on the menu for that weekend? Divine:)

Luisa Perkins said...

Oh, no, never judgment here, because I have tales that would make your story sound like you are Einstein.

Nothing but empathy, and sympathy that your night was wrecked. I cross my fingers that you'll get another chance to do blissful nothing very soon.

CaJoh said...

I think we all have those days where everything seems to be crazy.

So glad you could muster enough energy to tell us a story. Can't wait to hear the followup.

DeNae said...

Yep. Been there. Done that. Lost the keys along the way.

At one point I began to wonder if it wasn't pathological. Was I derailing myself? Did I need to be a martyr to my children? Was I trying to prove how invaluable I was to my family?

Then I realized, naaah. I'm just an absent-minded dork. That's right, I'm not just the president of the club, I'm a card carrying member. Welcome aboard!

Annette Lyon said...

We've all been there, definitely. I was in pain just reading the whole thing--I wanted to cry with you.

Kristina P. said...

I can just imagine this! How stressful!

The Margin Wight said...

You, my dear woman, are what makes America great. I hope rockin' hubbie will let you have a do over on your missed night alone with chocolate, chips, and chick flicks.

Lara said...

I'm sorry that your weekend was ruined from your own absent-mindedness. I can't tell you how many thousands of times I have done the same thing.

My husband never does these things. Ever. But he also never gets angry with me, so that's good. :) Because I get angry enough with me for the both of us.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Ah, nuts! I hate days like that! No judging, here!

wonder woman said...

I've been there. Not exactly, but almost. You look forward to a night all to yourself, only to have accidentally sabotaged yourself.

Perhaps you can your husband to help you with a raincheck?

Kimberly said...

I'm too tired to come up with a comment so a big ole ditto to Luisa's.

There are things I just don't blog about . . .

Kazzy said...

Oh man, that stinks. So sorry about your loss. Having only boys myself I TOTALLY love Fathers and Sons, which is next weekend for me. I mean them. :)

nano*ink said...

lol - I can visualize it all. One of the saddest/most frustrating things I have ever lived with...sort of, but not in relation to things of eternal consequence, I guess.

BTW, ice cream is great for breakfast with caramel and nuts...a few cookies on the side and a glass of V8 (nah)

Fiauna said...

How frustrating. I'm sorry your dream weekend was ruined. Hopefully another one will come your way soon.

LexiconLuvr said...

No judgement here, kiddo. I'm so sorry about all that. Guess what? One of my lil' dudes has pink eye too!! Pain in the @$$ that is!

Melinda said...

Definitely no judging, but I have to tell you now I'm REALLY HUNGRY! Sorry about your missed nothing time! :(

Emily said...

Don't worry, I'm not judging! :)

Why don't you and your husband fight? Not that I recommend it . . . just what is your secret?

Before I got married, my late aunt (who really wasn't my aunt, she was my mom's best friend) gave me this wedding advice:

"Don't go to bed mad. Stay up and fight all night!"

David and I used to have a lot of "heated discussions" when we first got married. I don't know when/why/what the change was, but we longer clash like we did in the beginning. Sure makes marriage a heck of a lot easier when your not constantly repairing your relationship.

I have no idea where I'm going with this comment.

Just share your dang secret already!

Erin said...

No judgment, of course. Just understanding. Because we've all been there.

I'm sorry your night off was compromised. I hope you get more time off soon!

That Girl in Brazil said...

Glad I'm not alone.

And what really floored me? That you SAVED THE CHOCOLATE.

Wouldnt've lasted a day in my house.

Eowyn said...

Been there. Done that. No judgment here.

Hope you get another random shot at alone time. I had some this afternoon and then my in-laws unexpectedly showed up and stayed to talk. So much for alone time. Maybe later. . .maybe.

Jessica G. said...

Sooo wish you lived closer...so I wouldn't be the only oddly dressed mother rushing her child to an appointment...and also so we could share our chocolate stashes.

myimaginaryblog said...

I was far more impressed by your extremely valiant, noble, and self-sacrificing efforts to help out your son against all odds to even start to judge you. Or, rather, I judged you to be a fabulous mom.

Is the PTA thing over? I hope you get a real break soon.

myimaginaryblog said...

Oh, I see now that you were telling a story from the past. And the PTA thing is Friday night. Hope it goes great (and I'm sure it will.)

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

Oh my, you deserve something good, not sure what. But more chocolate, more pop, a hammock and everybody else in a four hour coma comes to mind.

I looked for the gem you promised only to learn that if I loose weight I'll look like Old Mother Hubbard. So, the dilemma is, do I stay portly and unhealthy and okay looking, or do I get thin and healthy and look like a pleated skirt. It's a major dilemma and I will stay up at night, worrying about it...probably with chocolate and hot buttered popcorn.