Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Zookeeping

There was one of those kids at the petting zoo when we went to the fair on Saturday. YOU KNOW the kind. Running around berserk while his mother gazed at her navel. He was maybe five, and he was terrorizing a little piglet, trying to ride it, I think. That's a different attraction.

I looked around in disgust, trying to figure out which delinquent parent the future delinquent belonged to so I could give her my crustiest evil eye. Just when I was about to throw myself between the kid and the animal, a harried-looking woman squawked, "Get off that pig, Anthony!"

Sheesh. Finally. How do you bring your kids to a petting zoo where they are sure to lose their minds over their first encounter with a llama AND NOT KEEP AN EYE ON THEM? Which reminded me. . . where was Baby G?

In the corner. Smacking a wallaby.

SMACKING A WALLABY.

He did it out of love, kind of like when he punches his dad in the nuts and then asks for a quesadilla. Or nails me in the boob and interprets my whimpers as a request to do it again because THAT'S a fun game.

But nonetheless, smacking.a.wallaby.

And then I saw the lady standing nearby, trying to shoo him off and figure out who he belonged to so she could give his mother the crusty evil eye.

I made his dad go get him.

18 comments:

Luisa Perkins said...

He must have seen that cartoon with the boxing kangaroo!

(I can't believe you let your kid watch cartoons. Sheesh.)

Amber Lynae said...

Melanie thanks for the reminder to not judge others. It is funny because every time I get in a huff about what other parents let their kids do, I turn around to see my daughter doing something just as bad or worse. Parenting definitely is like zookeeping only the the zoo is the world.

So the zoo was nice?

Becca said...

Ack. How often I take my parenting style too seriously - just in time to recognize that I SUCK. But the kids are okay - physically and emotionally made of rubber, so they bounce, right?

Kimberly said...

Humility gives me hives. I hate it.

Kristina P. said...

I'm sure that no one was judging you, though. Much.

Lara said...

What a way to burst your bubble. I hate it when that happens. :) Hopefully the woman by G's wallaby turned around a few seconds later to find her own toddler eating goat poop or something.

DeNae said...

Best story ever. EVER!

MommyJ said...

um, yes. I'm pretty sure you were me that day.

And, I totally want to visit your petting zoo. Piglets and wallabys?

wonder woman said...

Such is my life as a mother.

"SOMEBODY needs to take care of those......uh, never mind......"

yeah. that's NEVER happened to me....

L.T. Elliot said...

*ROFL*

I have a serious superstition about what I say in regards to parenting. I was a stuck-up priss when my dudes were born, swearing that I would NEVER be late on bottle weaning, NEVER be late on potty training, and NEVER let my kids watch too much TV.

Now I keep my mouth shut in the hopes that I won't jinx myself again. =[

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Welcome to my brain. Glad we could share a moment of conscience together. :)

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

Yup, my life has been like that but earlier. Luckily I've forgotten a lot. Old age has its benefits.

Heather of the EO said...

Oh how I've missed you! Yes, I'm waaaay behind on blogish reading. I can't stand that. I miss stuff.

Like this. How could I miss a wallaby smacking story that is so brilliant?

Jessica G. said...

Well, it's not puppies...
I have sooooo been there!

Alison Wonderland said...

Awesome. Really. Just perfect.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Hahaha! Hilarious!

April said...

LOVE YOU!!! There's nothing like opening your mouth to judge, and then there is your kid doing the same thing. Take it from a mom of 2 boys who are now grown (my baby just turned 18), they WILL do it! hahahaha!!!!

Eowyn said...

lol! Been there. Done that. I've stopped since my youngest has decided that the floor of the grocery store is an appropriate place to play "doggy". There's only so much I can handle in one trip to the store. . .

(Luisa cracked me up! Double giggles this post!)