Monday, November 2, 2009

This seriously happened. (Boys, be warned!)

So last Monday, I overhear two neighbors discussing their pregnancies and I wander over to join the conversation because I'm nosy friendly like that.

They each just found out what they're having so I ask my one neighbor (we'll call her Stacy because that's not her name) when she's due because she doesn't even look pregnant. This is how the conversation went between her, me, and the other neighbor I'll call Shannon.

Stacy: I'm due the first week of May but I'm going to have it April 30 because I'm a planner.

Me: Oh, so you're getting induced?

Stacy: No, I'm having a C-section.

Shannon: Lucky! I want one but my insurance won't cover it. I work for a doctor who has to repair women's vajangos after their lady parts fall out and I don't want to do a natural birth.

Stacy: I can't believe the insurance is such a pain about it. I told my doctor to put down that I have genital herpes so that I could get the scheduled C-section. It's not like insurance is allowed to check.

Shannon: That's a great idea!

Me: . . . (confused silence)

So.

Is it me, or was that weird?

46 comments:

InkMom said...

Um . . . yeah.

Even though my vajango actually is probably going to fall out. On Thursday. Because I'm a planner.

Becca said...

Yikes. You have weird "friends" do you know that?
Call me old fashioned, but babies have a certain "way" of joining the world, and I think that should be the plan, unless circumstances dictate otherwise (says the girl with one c-section and 4 inductions - just none of them planned).
Get some normal neighbors next go-round, huh?

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Nope, you're right. That's weird. It's what happens when the "what I want, I get (even if I have to lie about it) because I'm arrogant and entitled and I refuse to actually WORK for something" generation grows up. This is exactly what I'd expect from the group I taught in high school 10 years ago.

Lara said...

I do not understand why someone would think that MAJOR SURGERY is a better idea than the way God intended for babies to enter the world.

Definitely weird.

crissy said...

I don't mean to be judgemental, but people who schedule c-sections "because their planners" or want one because they don't want their "vanjango" to be "ruined" are complete idiots. "Blah blah, I don't want a natural birth, even though its empowering and you heal quicker, because I don't want my vajango to fall out, even though I'm making up complete nonsense about what I think happens."
I'm sorry, but I really think that people who get c-sections without a real medical need for them are cowards and fools.

Chris said...

My first was an emergency c-section and the second and third were v-backs. The recovery from a c-section is SO MUCH HARDER. So much for the planner's idea! She's not really planning ahead for after the baby is here, I'd say. Sad.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Bizarre! Since when do doctors take orders on these things? So weird. I hope that genital warts thing comes back to haunt her because anyone who asks for that to be put on their medical records is asking for trouble.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Oh, and by the way, I had my first 3 babies the normal way. My 4th was an emergency c-section. Having a baby the normal way, is SO MUCH BETTER! This has got to be her first baby, right?

Josi said...

Yeah, weird.

Amber Lynae said...

Yeah, I have heard about people doing that, but I think it is weird.

Annette Lyon said...

What everyone else said. This is beyond weird. It's bizarre. Not to mention dishonest. The one could be busted for insurance fraud.

And then there's the fact that C-section babies have a slightly higher mortality rate because the stress of coming the natural way actual helps open their airways. Baby boys especially tend to have breathing difficulties more often if they're born via C-section.

Why run those kinds of risks voluntarily? Idiots.

Scribbit said...

Have they considered adoption? I hear that's even less painful than child birth and insurance won't be involved at all.

Bizarre.

ANd that whole planning thing completely cracked me up, because having kids will allow you to plan all sorts of things . . . tantrums . . . flu . . . middle of the night pukings . . .

Kristina P. said...

I don't really understand, but what is a vajango? It sounds like a clown word.

Don said...

My wife has had one of each, and she would hit the roof if she ever heard a conversation like that. There were some pretty significant complications after the C-section.

Sadly, the things people are willing to do in the name of "convenience" never ceases to amaze and discourage me.

Valerie said...

Very strange. Then again, pushing is hard work. Much more convenient to just lay on the bed and get sliced open then stapled back together. Hmmm...push or slice? Yeah, claim herpes and go for the knife. Brilliant...

Erin said...

Amen to what everyone has said. Did you look at her with a "you are out of your mind" face? Wow.

Jami said...

Are they aware that the doctors will actually be cutting open their internal girl parts? Totally a great option when the normal way ain't working, but overall if you don't have to have incisions in your abdominal muscles you shouldn't.

Chantele said...

That is strange. I've had a few friends want to get C-sections as well. Just do it the way your body is meant to do it. Weird people.

Kaylie said...

Definitely weird. I think the weirdest thing about it is that BOTH these people seemed to have the same weird opinion. I believe women should have choices, but those choices should be informed. Maybe you could rent The Business of Being Born and show it to them.

Heidi Ashworth said...

I'm one of those girls who can't even plan a pregnancy (not too fertile, here) so all of this control over ones body is beyond me. Of course, you live in Southern California so that must be taken into account. I remember the culture shock when I moved there from San Jose where I had lived for 30 years. After a month in San Diego, I went back to SJ for a visit and automatically assumed the sale sign for legs and thighs at KFC was a lipo suction advertisement. (To my friends in San Diego--Love you!)

nano*ink said...

crazy talk...who is teaching the children of this world?

Kimberly said...

I have literally cried over the fact that I have to have a c-section so that just blows my mind!

wonder woman said...

"I have no response to that."

Excuse my while I try to get my jaw off my boobs.

That Girl said...

InkMom completely wiped out my somewhat creative comment.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ahem.

But no, I think it's completely normal and morally pure to lie to commit health insurance fraud. And also to subject yourself willingly to major surgery. (And someone should tell her that even if you have ALL C-sections, your lady parts will still eventually fall out, just because you were pregnant.)

Heather of the EO said...

It kind of blows my mind what becomes "normal." People just don't think about it, they want to "plan" and make things as easy as possible. Even though c-sections are NOT easy, some women think so because it means there's "only" pain in recovery. Living out of fear, I guess.

And InkMom's comment cracked me right up.

Aubrey said...

After working in an OB/GYN office for three years, I can't say that this bizarre concept is unknown to me.

But still.

There are no words.

(And is it just me, or does 'vajango' get funnier every time you look at it?)

Kelly O. said...

To each his own, but what is wrong with these people. I HAD to have all mine csection and it was not a walk in the park. Dare I say it damaged alot of my body for good. Scar tissue is not exactly pain free. I attended my sister's, totally, all natural birth, at a birthing center a few week ago and it was amazing. She went home 2 hours later and said she has never felt so good. I am not advocating any kind of birth, but there is no way I would choose to have a csection!!!!!

DeNae said...

FOUR CAESAREANS, BABY! Read 'em and weep!

And who HASN'T told people they had congenital herpes to get something for nothing? Sheesh, I do that every day and twice on Sunday.

And have you noticed that the closer InkMom gets to her due date, the funnier-slash-snarkier she gets? I kinda hope she goes over a week or two, strictly for my own personal amusement.

Anonymous said...

Just last week, I read some article that talked about a woman who had to take HIV medications after a traumatic incident where she was at risk. Ultimately, she didn't contract the virus, but later when she switched insurance plans her next company's insurance plan wouldn't cover her due to that being a pre-existing condition. Your neighbor might want to be very careful about what ailments she claims for she may never be able to shake it.

Well, unless the gubmint passes universal health coverage.

SS

L.T. Elliot said...

Okay, the story: bizzare. The comments from this post: SO FRICKIN' HILARIOUS. And InkMom takes the cake, baby!

Shellie said...

So mr. bojangles has a wife! Her poor vajango!

The Garden of Egan said...

Wow! What a conversation starter! Hope the OCD planner person gets what she wants, I've seen C sections get put on hold for days because L&D was bursting at the vajagos.
Love your blog!

Emily said...

OH MY HECK! Anyone that "pretends" to have genital herpes IS TOTALLY MESSED UP.

Anyone who just wants a c-section for the heck of it is TOTALLY MESSED UP. (Both my kids were c-section, but not planned so I'm totally normal. :))

STEER CLEAR OF THE CRAZY NEIGHBORS!

Kazzy said...

Wow! Or seems so irreverent for a woman to talk so crudely about that. But to be honest, I never really got into those childbirth discussions.

MommyJ said...

First of all, please oh please don't wish inkmom's pregnancy to go any longer, cause right now, she's got all my maternity clothes(and hers. we really only have one wardrobe that we pass back and forth)... and I don't get them back until she has her baby. And I need them. Because I am busting out of my regular clothes.

She is funny though. I can't wait until thursday!

That conversation is totally weird. I've had two mandatory c-sections, and will have one more with this baby. My honest opinion? My c-section recovery was a little bit easier than delivering my first. But to me, it was simply a reward for having to undergo major surgery. Because I HAD to do it. I didn't have a choice in the matter. I think to choose a c-section on purpose is a little irresponsible.

I think vajango is hilarious. And seriously... where did you find these neighbors?!

Laura Moffitt said...

Wow...seriously weird. I guess they are definelty the make a way find a way people to have what they want.

Anna said...

I had to have c-section because of absolute ZERO progressing after being started a week after my due date. He did not want to come.

So the other two of mine were c-sections.

Even when I went in on a scheduled time, I had to wait for the other women who were there because they were in labor that couldn't be stopped. I went in at 10:00... had the baby around 2:00. You still don't choose how long it takes.

I think you should let your body do what it does naturally. Then if it isn't working "naturally" you go on to another option. My sister in law had no epidural this last baby and she was up and walking in no time. I on the other hand wasn't walking until that evening and even then I was slow for a few days.

Debbie said...

You betcha that was weird! But probably more common than I'd like to admit.

Eowyn said...

I'm still laughing over all of this. In a sort of mindless, disbelieving sort of way.

I had a neighbor growing up who forced her dr. to take it early so she could beat all of her sil's to the first baby cake and the baby nearly died because it was not ready to come out.

Stupide!

Melanie J said...

FORTY!!!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

ha ha ha. Yeah. That was way weird.

myimaginaryblog said...

My most recent delivery could very easily have been a c-section if I'd had anything other than the very patient, very skilled, very experienced caregivers that I did have, and I was SO grateful they were able and willing to do their job so well that was able to avoid having one. I'm very grateful for lifesaving c-sections but would never choose one otherwise.

I've been very aware of the growing popularity of elective c-sections, but I still would have had to pick up my jaw up off the ground if I'd witnessed that conversation.

Cardalls said...

Had two vaginal births and two c-sections (due to abdominal surgery and possible uterine ripping). Please give me a vaginal birth and recovery any day of the week. even though my vajango will fall out next week and I'm not a planner :)

Angie Muresan said...

Where did you say you live? You've certainly got some wacky neighbors! Lordy, I can't stop laughing!!

LisAway said...

Oh sheesh. My doctor told me that one in three women have C-sections over here. By choice. Maybe I'm remembering that wrong, but I do remember feeling much like after reading this post.

And I think it's sorta dumb when women talk about this stuff using terms you would hear in a (very lame) rap song. (or maybe I've just been out of the loop for so long I don't know what's normal anymore)

stewbert said...

lol @ wonder woman and inkmom.

sheesh. i have heard of women wanting c-sections, but major surgery is no picnic to recover from!