Sunday, April 4, 2010

Atlantic City, here I come!

We found all the Easter eggs, but does anyone know where the baby's hair bows went?

I did it again. I put the bow organizer I got for my baby shower somewhere in my condo, somewhere that made perfect sense at the time. But because it makes sense, I can't find it. I live in 1100 square feet. How hard can it be?

I do this with keys, children's shoes, my books.


How does this go mnissing in a place that doesn't even enough storage for us to have a linen closet?

You know what? It takes special talent. So special, in fact, that I've found the answer to a loooooooong held question I've had. It's all about Miss America. See, I grew up watching the pageant every year with my family and I felt sure I would never be able to compete because I didn't have a performance talent. I couldn't sing or dance or play an instrument well enough for the talent competition. 

I knew I could write, but how does that help in a talent show? I guess I could have done it Whose Line Is It, Anyway style where I stood up there with a ten cent Bic ballpoint and some ragged notebook paper, taking suggestions from the audience and improvising a story:
     "I need a place."
     "I need an occupation."
     "I need a relationship."
     "Great aunt!"
      "All right, if you'll just watch me quietly for twenty minutes or so, I'll give you a 500 word story on how Harvey, a plumber from Fargo, inherited a bodega in Bulgaria when his only remaining relative, an eccentric great aunt, died in the former Communist country. Just sit tight, folks. Hijinks will ensue!"

So you see the problem, I'm sure. But now, it's like those psychic wounds have healed because Heaven knows my kids think it's hilarious when I tear through the house looking for my keys. I figure I'll enter the pageant and then for the talent portion, I'll have them duplicate my living room as a stage set. Then at the beginning of the night, I'll walk onstage and set my purse down somewhere, then walk off again. They'll roll the set off stage and an hour or so later, when it's my turn during the talent section, they'll roll the set back out and I'll spend my allotted 3-5 minutes looking for a purse that's obvious to everyone else. If everyone else has the same sense of humor as my ten-year-old, I'm a lock to win that section of the competition.

Anyway, have you seen the hair bows?


Kristina P. said...

You always make me laugh. Maybe the Easter Bunny stole them? He's creepy like that.

MommyJ said...

I'd tell you to look in the linen closet, but uh, you don't have one. Under the crib, maybe? On top of your fridge? In the toy closet?

I loose my keys all the time. And my cell phone too. And my check card. And anything else that is small and has significant importance.

I remember thinking, when I was a kid, that if I entered the Miss America pageant, I'd have to get special permission to ride a horse across the stage. I mean, they totally would have let me do that, right?

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Oh, too funny.
I do this constantly and I always know the stuff is in a very safe place. As the kids got older I've started telling one of my daughters "look where I'm putting this and remember, since I'll probably forget." Sometimes they actually do.

Charlotte said...

This post would be a lot more funny if I hadn't been looking for my keys for the last WEEK or spent the morning hunting for the new checks we got in the mail, only to give up and send the kids to school with their lunch money in dimes.

Kazzy said...

Sorry, no hair bows here. Losing stuff drives me absolutely batty, though. Good luck to you!

Carolyn V. said...

Oh man, Melony! I hate losing stuff around my house (especially when I need it and I'm in a hurry)! I hope you find them!

DeNae said...

I looked in my couch. No hair bows, but I did find $3.72 in change. So when you head to Atlantic City, take me with you. We'll both be winners.

NIKOL said...

I'm impressed that you actually have enough hair bows to necessitate an organizer.

Karen said...

Did you check the car? That's where I usually find lost stuff.

AzĂșcar said...

I cannot keep track of anything. I lost enough to support a small Caribbean nation when I was living in my 1100 sq ft condo. Stories, yes. Things, no.

Lara said...

I shouldn't be amazed that you could lose your (adorable!) hairbow organizer.

Because I am forever misplacing things like that.

MT said...

Hey, you've got a great sense of humor. I'm glad I found your blog. :)

Erin said...

Maybe your hair bows are in the fridge, along with my box of cereal and scissors.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

man, that sounds like our house! We live in a house that's between 1000-1200 sq. ft. It's a rental, so we don't know for sure. it has no pantry,no hall closet, no linen closet, no drawers in the bathrooms. And yet we manage to lose things! Blows my mind.

How are you fitting in there??? We are so cramped and hope to move somewhere bigger shortly after baby gets here.

Heather said...

I love your brain.

Heather said...

Um, that's me...Heather of the EO. I keep logging in under a non-blogging account and then no one knows who Heather-profile unavailable is.


Amber Lynae said...

Did you check in you purse? Everything always ends up in my purse.

Sometimes it boggles my mind the things I find in my purse.

Dedee said...

Let's see, swimsuits, rings, keys, cell phones yes. But never bows. Of course, I only have one girl and she pulled them out as fast as I could put them in, but still.

Behind dressers? A lot of work, but I'm always amazed at what I find there.