I'm starting my own online homeschool of the Midvale School for the Gifted, the continuing adult ed version. I'm currently recruiting and while I'm excited to enroll new students, I warn you that I have the highest standards. You MUST be at LEAST on par with one of the most distinguished alumni of the Midvale School: Me.
To decide whether this is really the place for you, ask yourself if you've done the following at least once. That's a minimum. I've done all of these multiple times. (I told you, I'm one of the best.)
Have you looked everywhere for
1) Your glasses and found them on your head?
2) A pencil that it turned out was clenched in your teeth?
3) Shaken your keys at your child and demand to know where he put them? (Think about that one.)
Speaking of keys, have you ever attempted to use your key remote to open your house door, clicking it several times before realizing that your CAR is flashing its lights every time you do but your house is totally uninterested?
Have you ever sat at a stop sign waiting for the light to change? You have? Okay. But have you done it more than once in a day?
Have you stuck food items in the wrong place, like the milk in the pantry and the dry cereal in the fridge?
Do you regularly misplace your tv remote and later discover it in a place like on your upstairs nightstand?
Have you accidentally brushed your teeth with something besides toothpaste because it came in a tube and you found it on the bathroom counter? Like say . . . athlete's foot cream?
Have you driven off with the gas pump nozzle still in your tank?
Have you tucked your skirt into your underwear and not noticed? HAVE YOU TUCKED IT INTO THE FRONT?
If you're guilty of some of these things, I'm afraid you're not a fit for us. If, however, you've done ALL of these things plus stuff it's only a matter of time before I do, then drop off your application for the Midvale School for the Gifted in the comment box: you're one of us.