Know why I want to be Shakespeare? Do you? Do you?
Guess which of the following reasons is my real reason for wanting to be the next Shakespeare:
1. I could quit waxing my upper lip if I were a dude.
2. I would have an actual reason for rocking a massive neck ruff.
3. He has better hair than me.
4. I could wear tights as pants and it would be real thing, not something I do as if I could bend reality to my will.
5. I could settle the arguments about whether I really write my own stuff. But probably I'd just stir the pot for fun.
6. I could tell dirty jokes and be considered cultured.
7. I could probably get Kenneth Branagh to take my calls.
8. I'd get a lifetime front row pass to Central Park's Shakespeare in the Park every summer.
9. I'd be HUGE on the talk show circuit.
10. I could make up my own words.
The reason, of course, is #10. I would like to make up my own words and then everybody would have to run around using them in sentences like it was a thing. A real, honest-to-goodness colloquialism, instantly coined by MOI.
Shakespeare did that a lot, you know. Took poetic license when he needed something to fit his rhyme and meter and what not. Also, sometimes he just made up phrases because they were awesome and he was sort of a genius. Maybe even a word-coining savant. Did you know he made up these phrases:
And the list literally goes on and on.
So I want to be the next Shakespeare and coin my own phrases. I've worked up a few. Tell me what you think:
"Mac it up, yo!"--This means I don't know what we're having for dinner tonight so let's bust out the mac and cheese.
"DUDE!"--This means that I can't believe you, stupid driver, did something so idiotic while driving, but I can't say a swear word because kids are in the car.
Um, that's pretty much it. Nevermind the feedback. I'll keep working on it.
You know don't who doesn't have to keep working? REBECCA NELSON because the random number generator picked you to win one of Kenny's bowls for your reviews of The List on Goodreads and Amazon. Whoohoo!
Also, The List is now #8 on the Deseret Book general fiction list and #2 on the Deseret Book romance list. YES!
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