Thursday, April 14, 2011

NOW it's Shakespeare. Kinda.

Know why I want to be Shakespeare? Do you? Do you?

Guess which of the following reasons is my real reason for wanting to be the next Shakespeare:

1. I could quit waxing my upper lip if I were a dude.
2. I would have an actual reason for rocking a massive neck ruff.
3. He has better hair than me.
4. I could wear tights as pants and it would be real thing, not something I do as if I could bend reality to my will.
5. I could settle the arguments about whether I really write my own stuff. But probably I'd just stir the pot for fun.
6. I could tell dirty jokes and be considered cultured.
7. I could probably get Kenneth Branagh to take my calls.
8. I'd get a lifetime front row pass to Central Park's Shakespeare in the Park every summer.
9. I'd be HUGE on the talk show circuit.
10. I could make up my own words.

The reason, of course, is #10. I would like to make up my own words and then everybody would have to run around using them in sentences like it was a thing. A real, honest-to-goodness colloquialism, instantly coined by MOI.

Shakespeare did that a lot, you know. Took poetic license when he needed something to fit his rhyme and meter and what not. Also, sometimes he just made up phrases because they were awesome and he was sort of a genius. Maybe even a word-coining savant. Did you know he made up these phrases: 

  • All's well that ends well

  • Be-all and the end-all (Macbeth)

  • Refuse to budge an inch (Measure for Measure / Taming of the Shrew)

  • Dead as a doornail (2 Henry VI)

  • Faint hearted (I Henry VI)

  • Fancy-free (Midsummer Night's Dream)

  • Forever and a day (As You Like It)

  • For goodness' sake (Henry VIII)

  • Good riddance (Troilus and Cressida)

  • Heart of gold (Henry V)

  • In a pickle (The Tempest)

  • In my heart of hearts (Hamlet)

  • Kill with kindness (Taming of the Shrew)

  • Melted into thin air (The Tempest)

  • Naked truth (Love's Labours Lost)

  • Play fast and loose (King John)

  • And the list literally goes on and on.

    So I want to be the next Shakespeare and coin my own phrases. I've worked up a few. Tell me what you think:

    "Mac it up, yo!"--This means I don't know what we're having for dinner tonight so let's bust out the mac and cheese.

    "DUDE!"--This means that I can't believe you, stupid driver, did something so idiotic while driving, but I can't say a swear word because kids are in the car.

    Um, that's pretty much it. Nevermind the feedback. I'll keep working on it.

    You know don't who doesn't have to keep working? REBECCA NELSON because the random number generator picked you to win one of Kenny's bowls for your reviews of The List on Goodreads and Amazon. Whoohoo!

    Also, The List is now #8 on the Deseret Book general fiction list and #2 on the Deseret Book romance list. YES!

    Lastly, if you still want to win something, you can check out the awesome prizes on the Worldwide Ward Cookbook blog. Killer!


    Chantele Sedgwick said...

    Oh my gosh! I use "DUDE" all the time! :D I wish I could make up words too! That would be awesomesauce. ;)

    Kristina P. said...

    You could also see Gwyneth Paltrow topless. Or you could just have a Netflix subscription for that.

    Vivian said...

    You are so FUNNY! As I read your post I remember one of the best summers of my life: living in NYC and enjoying everything such amazing city has to offer: including Shakespeare in the time EVER!!

    Rebecca said...

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never win anything-such a first for me! So stoked:)

    LisAway said...

    Shakespeare's got nothing on you (did you maybe also make up "to have nothing on someone/something" thing? I'll just assume so). Your list is far superior to his.

    Barbaloot said...

    I knew it'd be number ten! Personally, I wish that he hadn't made up "in my heart of hearts." Ugh. I hate that phrase.

    Melinda said...

    Love your list of reasons and the actual reason itself! I must be like Shakespeare too because I make words up all the time to fit what I'm trying to say! haha

    Jessica B said...

    I definitely appreciate DUDE. ANd I also definitely appreciate #10.

    wendy said...

    Well congrats on the success of your book. Neat-0 (cause I am still lost in the 70's and can say that)
    I think I was Shakespear-ianesk....
    cause I'd always say to my kids,
    don't listen to what I said,
    just to what I meant
    (that didn't make sense did it)
    did he also makeup
    A rose by any other name???
    did he make up "if the shoe fits"?
    (cause they wore weird shoes back then)

    Susan said...

    Those numbers are amazing! Congrats on your success!

    Dedee said...

    Rats. I was going for number 8. Though I kind-of like all of them.

    But making up new words is one of my favorite things to do.

    You are awesome!

    Kazzy said...

    It is so cool that he made up so many long-lasting phrases. The hubs likes to teach people Shakespearean insults too.

    Lara said...

    Seriously, you had me at not having to wax my upper lip.

    Don said...

    My plan is to write speculative fiction for that very same reason: I want to invent slang.

    Yesterday I came up with "See my shirt--ain't it squirt?" Now I just need to figure out what 'squirt' really means as an adjective.

    Congrats on being #8 at! And also being featured in all three of the independent midwest LDS bookstores I've been to in the last month (two of whom had never heard of Bumpy Landings, ahem.) Way to go!

    Erin said...

    You know, my town has the Shakespeare Festival every summer, all summer long. It's one big party in my town. If you were Shakespeare, I'm pretty sure you could do whatever you wanted in this little town. You'd be famous.

    Charlotte said...

    Either Shakespeare or Dr. Suess, right? Both made up words and wrote in a certain poetic style.

    I make up my own phrases all the time, but I suspect they won't have quite the same staying power as Mr. William.